Affair, can't forget

June_Cambridge

Good luck Waccoe hope you find someone and are able to open up to them, as you say, doing this is a start. I really don't like the way your wife treats you, her comments would be really funny had she been a loyal and faithful wife.

waccoe_2

once again can I thank you all.
I have made an appointment with a counsellor next Thursday.
marisco, can I say that your all your posts are excellent and your last one is spot on.
I read lots of other threads and you and, I think it is taymar, speak soon much sense.

waccoe_2

Once again, thanks to everyone, I have made an appointment with a counsellor for Thursday.
marisco, your postings are always spot on, and after following several threads I find you and taymar always offer helpful and sensible advice

marisco_2

I am glad to hear that you have booked an appointment with a counsellor for Thursday. That is a really positive step that you have taken. I hope that you will find it helpful and that in time it enables you to move forward confidently in a way that makes you happy.

tayforth

Waccoe - I'm so pleased that you've made an appointment with a counsellor. It will definitely help you to talk things through. We are still here for you as well, so keep posting and telling us how you're getting on.

I agree with those who say that your wife's comment about 'afternoon delight' was completely out of order, bearing in mind her past behaviour. I am appalled that she could be so insensitive. As for her comments about the other man's 'qualities', words fail me. Whether she said it to hurt you or get a reaction or whatever, it doesn't matter. It was very hurtful and offensive.


Honestly, I really hope that the counselling benefits you, and that you find the strength to work through all of this, and move forward with your life, and be happy and at peace.

shellsuit

waccoe wrote: »

I want to go private as I need to go now!
Remorse? No, she said I drove her to it.
And please don't worry, I can take a joke.

She had an affair, blamed you, and you're still together even though she's playing head games with you and you can't move on after 6 years??

She might be beautiful on the outside, but she's pretty dam ugly on the inside.

marisco_2

waccoe wrote: »

Remorse? No, she said I drove her to it.

Please tell me that you do not accept the above. It is vile that your wife, the one person who should treat you better than anyone else, chooses to tell you that you were responsible for her inability to stay faithful to you. That disclosure is enough to leave anyone in a crippling state of mind. I would hope very much that you have enough self esteem and self worth left, to know that you did not cause for the affair to happen. There is no excuse for affairs, none whatsoever. If there are any problems in a relationship most people wish to approach their partner and work with them to get those resolved and life back on track.

You didn't drive your wife into the arms of another man. She chose that path for her own selfish reasons. You are not the first person this has happened to and sadly will be far from being the last. It is common for those who cheat to transfer blame for their actions rather than accept what they did was wrong. All too easy for some to decide to absolve themselves for how they have carried on by laying the blame sqarely with their partner. She is deflecting her own failings onto you and it is not on to do that to someone you love.

waccoe_2

No, I do not believe I drove her to have an affair that took her over 18 moths to plan and execute with a man she previously had an affair with 30 years before.
We may have been going through a difficult patch 10 years ago and I may have been difficult to live with, I honestly can't remember that far back but if I was making her so unhappy she should have left me and then took up with him.
I suppose I have very old fashioned morals but for me there is no excuse to be unfaithful.

June_Cambridge

As you say, she had worked on her ex for 18 months so it wasn't done on a whim, I doubt whether you were going through a rough patch or not it would have made any difference to her actions. She is clearly demonstrating that she doesn't care about your feelings or she would go out of her way to put your mind at rest. I really don't know how you've coped all these years. Good luck with the counsellor.

megan01

My 22 year old selfs wisdom may not be of much worth to you, but my thoughts are, why do you want to stay with someone who thoughtfully planned out how she was going to deceive you and cheat on you?

You only have one life ! I don't know how old you are but you only have so much time left! Do you want to carry on being with this woman who thinks she has done no wrong, when she has, and continues to live like a Queen, or divorce her, and find a woman who is worthy of your time and trust, and have a wonderful time for the rest of your life without constantly thinking about the affair?

Without meaning to sound like I am being horrible, please have some self-respect for yourself, don't stay with her!