Affair, can't forget

shoppaholic_returns

SuzieSue wrote: »

My husband's ex was beautiful and she had several affairs. His son has had several beautiful girlfriends but is now settled with someone who is nice looking but not beautiful and told his dad that he has learnt from his dad's mistakes and will not be going out with beautiful women again.

I just hope he doesn't tell his girlfriend that!

justme111

waccoe wrote: »

Why is it that SOME woman fall for the risky, bad ones, then settle down with us straight, safe ones but still hanker after a bit of

Because straight safe ones happen to be shortsighted enough so as not to see there us much more to it .

paulineb_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

No, they don't have to but they have many more opportunities to simply because more men find them attractive because they are beautiful.

I dont believe that to be the case at all. There are many beautiful women who are single, never mind having a partner and having affairs as well. There might be some beautiful women who get asked out all the time, others wont be. And people who arent stunning also have affairs.

Plus, beauty is subjective and its also down to choice as to whether people choose to have an affair at all.

marisco_2

waccoe wrote: »

Why is it that SOME woman fall for the risky, bad ones, then settle down with us straight, safe ones but still hanker after a bit of danger?

Some women settle down with safe option guys to benefit from the financial security that they gain by being in a relationship with them. Many realise early on that the risky, bad boys cant or wont offer them this.

By getting involved with someone for totally the wrong reasons, they end up in relationships where they are not emotionally content or fulfilled. At no fault of the unsuspecting partner who believes they are with them because they love them. They continue to crave the excitement and danger of being around bad boys and often follow through with meeting their own needs by having affairs.

gazzak_2

waccoe wrote: »

She recently quoted her Cousin, who she is very close to and obviously knows, probably more than me.
Names obviously changed.
"Richard, will never be David".
(Richard being me and David being the other guy).
These 5 words haunt me constantly.

waccoe wrote: »

Hi Duchy
In answer to your question.
"Did you ASK her what she meant or just add it to your ever growing mountain of paranoia ?"
She said he understood women, was more understanding, sensative, expressed his feelings, in tune with a women's needs and a great lover.

You're still married to the person who said those things after SHE had the affair? It's no bl**dy wonder your having nightmares every day over what happened. She doesn't give a **** waccoe, else she wouldn't have said those awful words. In your shoes I'd kick her stupid backside out of the door tonight, no question.

justme111

Right it sound as if discussion participants were still in high school - "bad boy" nice guy division.

June_Cambridge

Just catching up with what you were saying earlier OP, your wife worked on her ex for a number of years so it wasn't spur of the moment. It was all so premeditated, that must hurt like hell, my heart goes out to you. I really think you need to show your wife your diary and go through it all with her, I think she needs to know how much your hurting. If you get little or no response other than anger or sarcasm then I think you need to save your sanity, find your self respect and move on. Its not easy but millions have done it. You sound like a really nice man and I'm sure that there are lots and lots of women out there that would love and respect you. Still think you need counselling to get rid of the demons in your head so that you wouldn't take them into your next relationship. Be strong, ask yourself whether you'd like one of your loved ones, perhaps a son, to go through what you're going through and what you'd advise him to do

emerald21

shoppaholic_returns wrote: »

I just hope he doesn't tell his girlfriend that!

Yes indeed lol

SuzieSue

shoppaholic_returns wrote: »

I just hope he doesn't tell his girlfriend that!

I'm sure she already knows. She knows his ex girlfriends.

I remember years ago my friend was shocked when she saw her now husband's exs in his old holiday photos as they were so much better looking than her.

All women know how attractive they are compared to other women.

SuzieSue

paulineb wrote: »

I dont believe that to be the case at all. There are many beautiful women who are single, never mind having a partner and having affairs as well. There might be some beautiful women who get asked out all the time, others wont be. And people who arent stunning also have affairs.

.

Of course personality has a lot to do with it. Some beautiful women are so awful that they will always be single (as are some ordinary looking women). However most men, if they hadn't already been let down by a beautiful woman, given the choice of 2 women with identical personalities would go for the beautiful one rather than the ordinary one.

Some men, like my husband and probably the OP if he has another chance would probably go for the ordinary looking one because they have already been bitten.