Boyfriend wont marry me is it time to leave

MrsE_2

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Neither of you or me is right or wrong, it's just everyone is different.
For some people it is a big deal, but it is hard to define why. If the value of marriage is hard wired into your dna by culture and upbringing, observation or personality, it is hard to explain 'logically'.

I believe in marriage when a couple plan a family.
I've been married twice (& divorced twice!) I wouldn't have children with someone who wouldn't marry me. I'm not planning on gettting married again, but I'm a grandmother now - so don't need too!
If a woman wants marriage she shouldnt have kids until they are married IF shes in any doubt he wants marriage too.

Person_one

MrsE wrote: »

I believe in marriage when a couple plan a family.
I've been married twice (& divorced twice!) I wouldn't have children with someone who wouldn't marry me. I'm not planning on gettting married again, but I'm a grandmother now - so don't need too!
If a woman wants marriage she shouldnt have kids until they are married IF shes in any doubt he wants marriage too.

Its great in theory, but children do sometimes appear before they are planned!

MrsE_2

Dunroamin wrote: »

Have you ever heard the expression "He's just not that into you"?

notanewuser wrote: »

What logical reason would he have to marry you? He's already got you on tap, and you've already got children together. Marrying you won't give him anything more, so why would he want to? What's in it for him?

I think some of the comments on here are unnecessaily harsh.

MrsE_2

Person_one wrote: »

Its great in theory, but children do sometimes appear before they are planned!

Of course, what I'm saying is I wouldn't have children with someone I wouldn't marry & wouldn't marry me.
You dont have to be married to know whether a man wants to marry you or not.

moneysaymoneydo

Maybe he just simply doesnt want to get married, simple just like you may not want him to do certain things within the relationship? is it a crime not to want to marry after 12 years 20 some people are happy as they are, and you have already had kids with him so you chose to take it further as opposed to waiting until married?

As for the kids names i would have NEVER given my kids someone elses surname if not married to them simples!

You could just change your surname to his without marrying instead of waiting for the noble gesture from him after all 12 years 2 kids if your happy surely thats the most important part?

Person_one

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

You could just change your surname to his without marrying instead of waiting for the noble gesture from him after all 12 years 2 kids if your happy surely thats the most important part?

That's not really dealing with the core of the issue though, just the surface.

moneysaymoneydo

No its not dealing with the problem but why should he feel coerced into getting married when he doesnt want to, im sure when they met he didnt sit her down and say we will have 2 kids and we will get married if he did then thats a different story but whats big deal if all is happy? OP asked question is it time to leave? what and remove her kids from family life from father because he wont give her the "princess for a day routine"?!

System

No its not dealing with the problem but why should he feel coerced into getting married when he doesnt want to

Indeed.

tankgirl78

I'm not trying to force him to marry me but surely what I want should also be taken into consideration?
The thought of being a single parent doesn't scare me and I have no doubt that he would continue to spend plenty of time with his daughter.

moneysaymoneydo

TankGirl - you are so right you could leave him and then meet a man willing to give you the wedding you want so badly but think hard before breaking up the happy family environment that your child together knows. Does a ring a bit of paper and a "I do" really mean more than everything else? if so then its time to pack!