Daughter being bullied at school and via the internet

j.e.j.

ab.da54 wrote: »

White vinegar in the softener drawer when washing, will help get rid of any lingering odours on the clothes.

..and don't worry, she won't smell like the local chippy! The smell disappears when the clothes have dried.

bedpotato_2

RachRubyD wrote: »

From someone who has suffered with excessive sweating I can tell you it isn't nice at all. I wasn't bullied about it as I would literally spray myself to death with perfumes just in case..

I highly doubt that. If you were literally dead, you would not be here typing on a forum.

Why do people use the word "literally" when they are not being literal at all? It's baffling.

Beckyy

I haven't read all the replies, but just my thoughts.

If your daughter is going through puberty I'm guessing she's somewhere between 10-13? Her bod is going to be changing alot and lots of things will be new to her.

I do agree that a strip wash isn't enough. I don't think it can remove sweat and odours as well as a bath or shower, and if odour is a problem then a daily shower/bath is needed. We didn't have a shower when I was younger so I had a bath every morning. The rest of the family can use the water after if that's the issue.

I also don't udnerstand why daughter still has a wash with a parent? Puberty is a very personal time and your daughter needs privacy and space. I don't think any double figure aged child should be accompanied by a parent to wash unless they have disability/need for it.

A trip to the doctor might also help, there could be a reason for the odour. A better deodrant or antiperspirant could also help, I'm not a fan of chemicals but if it's causign your daughter a lot of trouble then a more expensive better quality product may be more helpful. Why not try a pharmacy and see if they can recommend one?

securityguy

bedpotato wrote: »

Why do people use the word "literally" when they are not being literal at all? It's baffling.

olibrofiz

Hi OP, you haven't said how old your DD is - if she's 12/13 some of her peers may not have hit puberty yet, which may account for some of the nasty comments. IME it doesn't matter what you say, they befriend deodorant when it suits !!

From 13-17 DD and her friends ranged from decidedly pongy to just having stepped out of a vat of perfume/aftershave When i gave a particular one of her friends (boy) a lift I had to pretend to be having a 'hot moment' and open all the windows

I would suggest, as other posters have, that if YOU notice BO as a problem then your DD be encouraged to bath every day or, at the least, daily strip wash on her own (obv encourage her in a good way) - they are SO self conscious in early teens she may not be washing as thoroughly when her mum's with her, mainly because of body awareness and embarassment.

Regarding fb bullying, my DD had some nasty nasty things said/posted on fb (I can still remember some of the awful words) - she didn't want me to go to the school, she used to just post one comment that they were all talking carp, and then bow out. They would run out of steam after a week.

Hope your DD comes out of this ok, it's such a hard time for them xx

vanessav

Bullying is absolutely horrible. Among other things, the school needs to make sure that your daughter has somewhere safe to go during the day away from the bullies (such as a student services room or similar) if it all gets too much.
I remember when one of my children was bullied and it caused nervous sweating and they came home from school smelling strongly of BO despite clean clothes and showers. Stress can do terrible things to sweat!
Tea tree oil is extremely good at fighting sweaty smells. Superdrug does tea tree wipes for the face, but in fact these are brilliant for armpits. A good rub with one under each arm and a rinse can help if a shower or bath really is out of the question.
I must add my vote for Pitrok spray. Especially for stress sweating. It can also be sprayed onto clothes where the salt in it can help fight odour. Rubbing ordinary salt into clothes before washing them can also help with ingrained smells.

FatVonD

Nada666 wrote: »

So that is why boys are so smelly. Sorry, that is a ridiculous thing for you to write. I agree with you agreeing with Dandelion but shaving is not necessary.

Of course it's not ridiculous, anti perspirant works by blocking the pores, if there is a thick covering of hair the anti perspirant settles on that rather than the skin.

dori2o

Hi.

i'm not ignoring this post but I tend to jump all over the forum and when I have a thought in my head I post it if it suits.

Since daughter started having a strip wash everyday morning and night, with a bath every other day/3 days, she's been a lot better, in fact I'd say it's no longer a problem. I certainly don't smell her and none of her close friends think she smells.

The problem seems to have gone on for a couple of weeks but now it is under control since we implemented the program of strip washing etc.

Her mum is now starting to leave her to wash on her own a bit more, but daughter doesn't mind Mum being there. Mum is paranoid about BO even though she doesn't have a problem with it and has been showing daughter how to wash properly with hot water, a flannel, proper coal tar soap and then how to moisteurise as daughter in the past had suffered with ecsma (sp?) and very dry skin, which is one of the reasons a bath isn't practical daily (the other reason is due to a !!!! boiler it takes 20+ minutes to fill the bath, and we don't have a shower and those hose fittings don't work with our setup).

However, as we all know, !!!! sticks and that first couple of weeks where she wasn't in control of the situation is dictating the bullying.

She has a clean shirt, skirt or trousers and underware on every day but her jumpers don't smell, even when they have been worn for 2 days. I know, I have checked.

As Jojo said the main problem was the DPA issue. Having spoken to our DP 'Champion'at work he has confirmed that I am right, there is no problem using and publishing this informtion however I want to.

We are asking the school if they will forward the information to the parents as we do not have the addresses of all the kids involved but the school do but they cannot give them to us for obvious reasons. We will pay the postage costs if they will do this.

We have at this time decided not to go to the police, but the information is being kept safe in case this continues or flares up again at some time in the future.

I do thank everyone for their replies.

thunderbird

I would be very surprised if the school sends on your facebook printouts to parents!

But - they should be addressing the bullying that is going on at school.

butler_helen

ab.da54 wrote: »

White vinegar in the softener drawer when washing, will help get rid of any lingering odours on the clothes.

I really feel for the girl who has to strip wash in front of her mother and can only bathe every 2 - 3 days, when having to face this issue and experiencing bullying because of it

Totally off topic but THANKYOU for this tip.

I never suffer with BO but I have a couple of dresses which my boyfriend says make me "stink", they are a viscose/nylon material. I didn't know until I washed them, smelt them and nearly died of shame.

This worked last night and this morning they smell much fresher.

When I was at school I suffered with smelly feet, taking my shoes off was mortifying. So I took clean socks with me and always had a stash to change into... Saved me being embarrassed during/after PE. Could your daughter stash a fresh top in her bag? We had a horrid uniform made of sticky nylon in my first job and I had spares in work.