Daughter being bullied at school and via the internet

dori2o

My eldest daughter is being bullied at school and via Facebook.

We only let her use facebook as her 2 best friends go to other schools now and it lets her keep in touch.

However, a couple of nighhts ago she came to me in tears and showed me the things people were writing on her 'wall' about her and the messages they were sending.

I have taken screen prints of whole conversations and my Wife has been into the school today and has shown them to the head of my daughters year as most of the messages were from kids who go to my daughters school.

She's going through puberty and is finding it hard, and is having problems with BO. This seems to be at least part of the cause of the bullying.

She isn't dirty, she has a wash every morning and night and a bath every 2-3 days, plus she showers at school after PE. She has deoderant (AP) and keeps a tin in her school bag so she can top up if needed. So she is doing everything she can.

I want to send copies of the screenshots I have taken to the kids parents to let them know what their darling children are upto on the internet and what they have been putting my daughter through at school.

I am sure I am not contraveining the Data Protection Act but the school have said that I would be. I work with the DPA daily so I am sure I am right.

What would other parents suggest?

balletshoes

Firstly, I'd suggest she blocks/deletes every person on her facebook who has posted nasty stuff on her wall. Make sure its just friends she trusts who are her facebook friends, nobody else. Bullying is hard enough to cope with in school, but its even more awful when she has to deal with it online too. Remove the source, and that will remove that part of the bullying. If she has a mobile phone, check that bullies aren't getting to her that way too.

I'm glad she can come to you and you've taken some action on her behalf, at least she knows she's not alone.

I can't help you with DPA I'm afraid.

If my daughter was bullying someone on the internet, I'd want to know.

Anselm

I'm confused, I thought that facebook is a public forum, so how would you be breaching the DPA? I'd get clarification from the CAB or some other legal avenue regarding that.

As I'm not a parent, I won't comment on the rest, sorry, but my sympathies to your daughter.

tigercubx

Contact the local pcso, tell him all of there names, he will give them a visit and scare them shitless x

lizziebabe

This is a serious problem nowadays and needs to be stamped on quickly. Your daughter is a sensible girl who at least has come to you for help.
Send the photos to the parents and say that this needs to be dealt with or you will get the Police involved. The school also needs to deal with this, ask them for their bullying policy.
Remind your daughter that she hasn't done anything wrong and is much loved. Puberty is a very difficult time. You sound like caring and loving parents. All the best, do keep us updated.

daska

Can't help you with the DPA but the condition of my kids having FB was that I was their 'friend' so I could see what was going on.

Are you sure she's washing regularly? (My DSD was very good at running the tap while gazing at her reflection!) Or do you eat a diet high in onions/spices etc? Excessive BO can sometimes be a symptom of a medical problem (infection, diabetes etc) or a mineral deficiency - perhaps you could investigate that possibility with her GP?

j.e.j.

Sorry I can't be much help but I know most schools and colleges have (or should have) a policy on bullying and cyberbullying.
There might be some useful info in this link:

http://www.childline.org.uk/explore/bullying/pages/cyberbullying.aspx

ETA re. the body odour problem, stress can make it worse. Does she have the problem only when she's at school that day?

Cooper18

Jeez, as well as the other suggestions I'd tell you to spend 30 minutes checking recent news reports about kids that have done drastic things as a result of this type of bullying. Print these reports off, take to the school and absolutely do not take no for an answer!! The school MUST do something!

meritaten

I had to do a lot of research into the DPA at one time, and I am sure you are right and school is wrong. by posting on a 'Public Forum' using their real names the DPA doesn't apply.
and how do you think that people are now getting taken to court over facebook harassment? it IS illegal to harass people over the internet!

you have given the school a chance - you could take it to the police. this has to be stopped and perhaps a visit from the cops may scare the kids into leaving your dd alone.

her BO problem however - a bath every 2 -3 days isn't enough if she has a night-time sweat problem. Every morning would be better and an effective antiperspirant.
I do feel for her hun, being bullied is vile and I hate bullies with a passion. support her and don't let the school fob you off (sounds like they are).

quietheart

If your daughter is having problems with BO she really needs to be having at least one bath or shower a day and giving herself a proper wash. It must be awful for her but washing every day is a simple thing to do and will improve her confidence.
As for the bullying, I hope the school support you but if they don't I would agree with previous poster. Take it to your PCSO and let them deal with it.
All the best.

thunderbird

How horrible for your daughter (and you and your wife)

I agree with the advice to change the settings on her facebook account - block anyone who has sent abusive comments and make her wall hidden from anyone who isn't her friend.

Do you know the parents of the children who have sent the messages? I think that is relevant in how they would react to you contacting them with the screenprints. I don't know about data protection, but the messages are on your daughter's account so I can't understand why you shouldn't be allowed to take a shot of them?

What did the school say that they would do about it?

Regarding the hygiene problem - daily shower or bath would be best, if possible. Make sure she has a long lasting antiperspirant/deodorant (not just a body spray type). Also, does she wear fresh clothes each day?