Daughter being bullied at school and via the internet

sam.4000

Cooper18 wrote: »

Jeez, as well as the other suggestions I'd tell you to spend 30 minutes checking recent news reports about kids that have done drastic things as a result of this type of bullying. Print these reports off, take to the school and absolutely do not take no for an answer!! The school MUST do something!

I do feel sorry for th OP's daughter and I do hope you get it sorted quickly.

Why is it the schools responsibility to police facebook when I presume the messsages are being sent outside of school time?
You will find schools will deal with bulling in school but they are limited in what they can do with things happennig outside of school. It is a grey area when it is not actually been done in school. Some schools have a PCSO linked to them who could be a way of getting the issue sorted.

Facebook and other social media sites can be horrible, blocking those who are causing problems is a start, tighten her setting on facebook as tight as you can e.g. so no one can find her when searching. You might end up shutting down her facebook for now. As already mentioned mobile phones are an easy target. Please make sure your daughter is not being contacted via her mobile phone, again most phones have a link to facebook.

Your daughter needs to have a shower or bath everyday and use a decent deodorant, if she is having problems with body odour chemists will advise you about which one would work best. Also changing shirts/ tops daily would help.

dori2o

thunderbird wrote: »

How horrible for your daughter (and you and your wife)

I agree with the advice to change the settings on her facebook account - block anyone who has sent abusive comments and make her wall hidden from anyone who isn't her friend.

Do you know the parents of the children who have sent the messages? I think that is relevant in how they would react to you contacting them with the screenprints. I don't know about data protection, but the messages are on your daughter's account so I can't understand why you shouldn't be allowed to take a shot of them?

What did the school say that they would do about it?

Regarding the hygiene problem - daily shower or bath would be best, if possible. Make sure she has a long lasting antiperspirant/deodorant (not just a body spray type). Also, does she wear fresh clothes each day?

The school said they would have all the kids involved in to 'talk' about internet bullying.

We are on our daughters account and we have blocked these other kids. She has to be in the room to use the internet and she can't use it in her room as I took the wireless adapter out of her laptop and she has a d-link usb wireless adapter which stays with me or her mum when she isn't in the room with us.

It isn't practical at the moment to have a bath everyday and we don't have a shower. She has a full strip wash every morning and at night (on the nights she doesn't have a bath) with her Mum so we know she has one and doesn't just run the tap.

She uses 24 hours anit-persperant and tops up during the day.

She has a new school shirt on everyday, but she only has 2 school jumpers, owing to the fact they are almost £20 each. She has them on for 2 days max.

j.e.j.

just another thought, are they acrylic jumpers by any chance? I find acrylic jumpers get 'whiffy' under the arms. Not sure there's much you could do about that, though, if they're part of the uniform!

msb5262

Very briefly, my DD was bullied in quite a small way on facebook and via photos on mobiles by some girls she knew at school.
I printed a screenshot , made an appointment with the headteacher and took the screenshot in with me. I explained what was going on and said I was extremely concerned about my daughter's emotional wellbeing.
The school took it extremely seriously and both girls had an internal isolation (similar to an exclusion) and obviously their parents were informed. Problem solved. Four years on, I am satisfied that this resolved the situation.

There seems to be some debate here as to whether parents should go to the school or to the police...

As a teacher, I really think that if the children know each other through school, it is essential to start by going through the school. The school may involve the police or parents may decide to do that further along the line, but please, please start with school as has happened in this case!

Best wishes to the OP and to your daughter. Hope things improve very quickly.

pinkshoes

You need to go through her FB security settings with her.

It should be set so only friends can post on her wall, and I believe you can also change it so that she can verify the posts before allowing them to appear.

scooby,s_mum

I myself suffer from excessive sweating and the only deodorant that works for me is Mitchum aerosol,it is slightly dearer but well worth it,and Asda is usually cheapest place to buy,sorry I can't offer any other help but hope this may help a little

pimento

daska wrote: »

Are you sure she's washing regularly? (My DSD was very good at running the tap while gazing at her reflection!)

Yes, my son was a renowned soap dodger. I had to force him to shower and his best trick was liberally spraying his dirty pits with Lynx.

He could knock you over at 10 paces on some days.

KxMx

Has she tried different brands of AP to find one that works best for her? I was quite happy with one, bought another in a mini can (shop only had one brand so I got that one) to keep in my bag to use when out and soon realised the new brand was 100x better and switched pronto!

Like most kids I used what Mum used/bought but that isn't always the best way.

thunderbird

Incidentally, how old is she?

mandragora_2

Presumably they're not on Facebook while they're at school....

It's a problem for Facebook - report it to them: http://en-gb.facebook.com/help/263149623790594/

It's something CEOP will help you with:
http://ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/

and finally, why not get her to give Facebook a break for a few months - stay in touch with real friends in the real world, and perhaps get out there and make some new ones. Nice ones.