What would you do?

Deanied

I recently split from my partner of 4 years, because I found out he was texting another woman inappropriately and arranging to meet to have sex. I think I found out before they actually met, but it was all enough for me to leave him and cancel our wedding.

The woman my ex was in contact with was also in a relationship and planning to marry. My dilema is whether to contact her partner and let him know whats going on or not.

I'm over all the shock, heart break and truely feel that her partner has a right to know. Some of my friends say leave if other say contact him, so I thought I'd ask you guys.

balletshoes

Do you know this woman's partner?

Deanied

balletshoes wrote: »

Do you know this woman's partner?

No, I don't know the womans partner, but I could get in contract with him.

balletshoes

okay, time to be objective and honest with yourself.
If you were contacted by someone you don't know at all, and told your partner was texting inappopriately with another person, what would you do about it?

Deanied

balletshoes wrote: »

okay, time to be objective and honest with yourself.
If you were contacted by someone you don't know at all, and told your partner was texting inappopriately with another person, what would you do about it?

Honestly I would probably doubt it, thinking that I know my partner better than a random stranger, but it would make me think.

My reason for telling him is not to get revenge or make him finish with her. I know that some people would put up with what they were doing as long as it hadn't got physical. My reason for telling him is so that at least I've done my part and he knows the full story. If he chooses to believe it or act upon it is up to him. I would have done my part.

CH27

Keep out of it. You are well shut of him.
Move & on & be happy.

marisco_2

If I were this womans partner, I would definately want to know, if the person I had plans to marry had been having an affair. Discovering that kind of betrayal would instantly end things for me with a partner, no matter how long we had been together. Without love, trust and mutual respect there is no relationship. It just becomes a farce doesn't it.

By being made aware of what has been going on, this man can take the decision as to whether he still wants to be with his fiance or not. Marriage as I am sure you appreciate OP, is what most people take as being a lifetime commitment. Why anyone would want to take that step if they were aware that their partner had lied and cheated on them is beyond me.

I think he would be greatful to be in the know and helped to not make a huge mistake and be made a fool of.

mwa

Being totally honest I'd tell him, screw her after what she did to you! Not big or grown up but would give me a certain sense of satisfaction!

Foxn86

The angry part of me would want to tell him, and deep down that probably why you want to. I don't blame you I would be fuming !!

However this is a good thing and you will see that down the line. You could have married this man who was planning to hurt you like this already. You could have had a few kids and end up a single parent with a divorce behind you

I would see this as an eye opener and a good escape. He wasn't the one and did not deserve you. You will go on to meet someone who will treat you like a queen and that's the man you should marry !!

Leave her and her partner to it eventually their relationship will fail as she's clearly not happy.

Walk away hold your head high and keep your dignity in tact and one day you will know she has actually made you dodge a bullet !

Good luck and keep your head up it will get better xx

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I'd probably contact him and ask how he is coping with the news as you are just about over the shock and heartache now.

victory

What would it achieve? More heartache?