What would you do?

marisco_2

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Rubbish

You're probably hurting quite badly now and by telling the other partner, you're hoping that he'll thump your ex.....which is probably what you'd love to do yourself

How someone can read this whole thread and still manage to miss the point in such spectacular fashion is beyond me!

[Deleted User]

marisco wrote: »

Seriously, are you for real?

Yes most definately you should. I did just that and I am proud of my actions.

My ex was a violent and abusive man. When the police took statements from me I was told I was at their highest level of risk, that my children would be next and to leave him. When I became aware that he was in a relationship with a young woman who had a child, I let her know exactly what type of person she was involved with. Saving her and the child from all kinds of pain and trouble.

It may surprise you to know that she was approachable and wisely took on board what I said. My ex had already begun to show signs to her that he was a right nasty piece of work. My chat with her just confirmed to her what she was already suspecting.

Blimey , I don't have an EXTENSIVE list of exes to look up then , but all my exes are exes for a REASON ie they did not treat me right in one way or another , but to be honest I didn't DREAM of getting involved with any of their new relationships or 'warning' the new girlfriends , there may have been a string of them since - I basically just got on with my life and people have their own choices to make some may have married them and if they regret it it is not down to me as they can leave too at any time but I don't see that as my responsibility or my business to be honest

So yes I am for real , there was no violence involved , but I am for real as in not thinking about contacting any of my exes current past or future girlfriends since I left them , let them find out for themselves and make their own decisions and choices and if an exes ex had rang me up about them I would find that a bit odd and strange lol

( Are you gonna stalk your ex for the rest of his life to find out who he is seeing and warn them too? ;-) lol )

duchy

I don't think it's a case of missing the point....... it's a case of feeling the OP's motives are not what she claims .....even if she is telling herself otherwise.

Frankly she knows nothing about this woman or her boyfriend as the contact was on-line -we tell our kids to not meet anyone they don't know online -yet people are telling the OP to go ahead and anger two unknown quantities (as well as her own ex) with no idea of how they may react . Does the OP really want to put herself in physical danger for the sake of a stranger who may know his GF is a cheat anyway ?

sjc3

marisco wrote: »

I feel that you hold a very confused point of view

No I disagree, there is nothing wrong with my point of view. You cant bring in all the negativity of your own past experiences when thinking of meddling in someone elses life. That clouds your judgement on the seriousness of the situation. People should be allowed to live and let live and lead their lives as they see fit.

If their partner does not find out, no-one gets hurt do they. It is the person informing someone of an unsuspected affair that blows their world apart for no reason other than to be spiteful.

VestanPance

sjc3 wrote: »

No I disagree, there is nothing wrong with my point of view. You cant bring in all the negativity of your own past experiences when thinking of meddling in someone elses life. That clouds your judgement on the seriousness of the situation. People should be allowed to live and let live and lead their lives as they see fit.

If their partner does not find out, no-one gets hurt do they. It is the person informing someone of an unsuspected affair that blows their world apart for no reason other than to be spiteful.

One again a post in contradiction.

The person being cheated on should be allowed to live their life as they see fit and that includes deciding if they want to stay in a relationship with the person they cheated on.

Only someone very selfish and with a lot to hide would pull the 'if they don't know, nobody gets hurt' line. They've been hurt the second their partner betrays them. the hurt is not in the telling, it's in the actions of the betrayal.

Going on your stance only one person gets to live and let live their life as they see fit and that is the cheat.