What would you do?

ruby-roo_2

I have read this whole thread and agree with those who think you should tell someone if their partner is having an affair. There have been a few posters who have given really good reasons why this is so important.

Heffi1

Why are you wanting to tell him, if you can work that out then you may not do it, at the end of the day, the girl is not the one you should feel angry with it is your ex who is the one who cheated on you. If it were not her then it would have been someone else.

She has her own relationship to deal with and if she is found out then she will have that on her conscience and you can rebuild your life knowing that your ex thought so little of your feelings that it was ok to mess about with someone else.

He is the one who made the mistake in your relationship not her.

LittleMax

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

There is a rather useful idea in law that people are presumed to intend the likely consequences of their acts. So if (for example) you put a concrete block over a railway line, you are presumed to have intended to cause harm.

That isn't quite right, in law a person intends a consequence if they can foresee it happening and want it to happen.

If it was always the case that you were presumed to have intended to cause harm, we would not have manslaughter only murder.

neverdespairgirl

LittleMax wrote: »

That isn't quite right, in law a person intends a consequence if they can foresee it happening and want it to happen.

If it was always the case that you were presumed to have intended to cause harm, we would not have manslaughter only murder.

Not at all. There are several ways something can be manslaughter rather than murder, including gross negligence, provocation, or diminished responsibility.

Murder requires an intention to cause grevious bodily harm or death, and actual death. If you intend harm lesser than death, but still harm, it's manslaughter. Hence the "one punch manslaughter" cases, where a person hits someone once, he falls over and (say) breaks his neck and dies.

thorsoak

Deanied wrote: »

I recently split from my partner of 4 years, because I found out he was texting another woman inappropriately and arranging to meet to have sex. I think I found out before they actually met, but it was all enough for me to leave him and cancel our wedding.

The woman my ex was in contact with was also in a relationship and planning to marry. My dilema is whether to contact her partner and let him know whats going on or not.

I'm over all the shock, heart break and truely feel that her partner has a right to know. Some of my friends say leave if other say contact him, so I thought I'd ask you guys.[/]

Walk away from the situation - COMPLETELY! Do not contact the other woman's partner - what good would it do you? Karma, dear, karma - let it go, walk tall - and walk into a better - much better life!

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

Walk away from the situation - COMPLETELY! Do not contact the other woman's partner - what good would it do you? Karma, dear, karma - let it go, walk tall - and walk into a better - much better life!

Doesn't the other person who's being cheated on deserve the chance to do that too, if that's what they decide?

marisco_2

Person_one wrote: »

Doesn't the other person who's being cheated on deserve the chance to do that too, if that's what they decide?

I completely agree with you. The innocent party definately has a right to know and to be able to make an informed choice over their future. For the one who has had an affair to take that away from them they just continue to treat them with utter contempt.

stir_crazy

thorsoak wrote: »

Walk away from the situation - COMPLETELY! Do not contact the other woman's partner - what good would it do you? Karma, dear, karma - let it go, walk tall - and walk into a better - much better life!

Telling the other partner isn't (completely) about hurting the cheaters, but about allowing the innocent partner to make an informed decision about the woman he is planning to spend the rest of his life with.

sjc3

I dont think the OP should say anything. There seems to be a couple of people on here that are on a bit of a mission to suggest that the man should know about an affair. They give loads of views on how discovering an affair is apparently so damaging and all the problems it causes.

So why set that chain of events off when it could just be kept quiet. If someone makes a mistake then decides to go back to their partner is there really any need then to blow things apart and upset someone?

marisco_2

sjc3 wrote: »

I dont think the OP should say anything. There seems to be a couple of people on here that are on a bit of a mission to suggest that the man should know about an affair. They give loads of views on how discovering an affair is apparently so damaging and all the problems it causes.

So why set that chain of events off when it could just be kept quiet. If someone makes a mistake then decides to go back to their partner is there really any need then to blow things apart and upset someone?

I feel that you hold a very confused point of view. Quite insulting to all of those who have been cheated on and can fully comprehend just how it feels.