What would you do?

icklejulez

Id tell him, not out of spite but if she is behaving like this before they are married she's likely to do it again. Saves him the hassle of getting divorced down the line! Do him a favour, there are far too many people out to mess with other peoples futures! I hate cheating, I despise it and it ended my marriage and the worst part about my future now is never 100% knowing when to trust!

balletshoes

I have to say I'm kind of on the fence with this situation. Now, if they had actually both been cheating and you had caught them at it, then I'd say tell the woman's partner what you saw.

So, on that basis, what exactly would you be telling him in your situation? What did you see?

duchy

Frankly if you don't know the person the only reason to contact them is to get back at your ex and his "friend" so why not be the adult and just walk away instead of some petty revenge.

For all you know she may have chickened out of a full relationship and is trying to work things out with her partner and rebuild. Or maybe she's told him and how stupid are you going to sound if he says Yes I know and what is my relationship to do with you ?

Really...Walk away -leave them to their messed up lives and concentrate on rebuilding yours.

Deanied

balletshoes wrote: »

I have to say I'm kind of on the fence with this situation. Now, if they had actually both been cheating and you had caught them at it, then I'd say tell the woman's partner what you saw.

So, on that basis, what exactly would you be telling him in your situation? What did you see?

I would tell him that they have been sending dirty texts and pictures to each other for months. They were arranging to meet up to spend the night together and have sex. That's when I found out and left him. I don't know whether they have since met up and done the deed or not, but to me the texting and planning is cheating. I know that everyone has different boundaries for cheating and that fine.

System

On the one hand, part of me says tell him...he is otherwise entering into a marriage with someone unfaithful and he has no idea

But, on the other hand, would he believe you? One of my best friends told me my ex had cheated on me, and even though i'd suspected something, he denied it and got angry at me and i ended up pushing her away (when we split i apologised as i know she was just looking out for me and shouldn't have beleieved a word he said), so i'm not sure i would have taken the word of a stranger when i couldn't even take the word of a best friend.

sassyblue

Deanied wrote: »

I would tell him that they have been sending dirty texts and pictures to each other for months. They were arranging to meet up to spend the night together and have sex. That's when I found out and left him. I don't know whether they have since met up and done the deed or not, but to me the texting and planning is cheating. I know that everyone has different boundaries for cheating and that fine.

Well if it were me I'd want to know. If they are planning a wedding I'd like to think l would tell him to save him some money on a divorce maybe?

That's the trouble with people like your ex, now you have bigger issues than HIS cheating. Tough call though. X

marisco_2

victory wrote: »

What would it achieve? More heartache?

Preventing someone from making the biggest mistake of their life by setting themselves up with a lying cheat.

peachyprice

Out of interest, how long ago did all this happen?

make_me_wise

I would want to know if my oh had cheated on me before I married them. If they will behave that way before marriage nothing is going to change after they get hitched.

juniper_berry

Tell him. He might not want to know but he should know in order to be able to make a decision about his future with all the facts laid out. If she has done it with your partner chances are she will find someone else and do it again.
He is about to spend thousands of pounds committing to a marriage with potentially only one faithful party - I would sure as hell want to know before I walked down the isle and said vows in front of friends and family to someone that clearly won't keep them. He is not only emotionally committing himself but financially too.

One of my best friends was cheating on her partner before and during her marriage - she had no respect for him. Even now after eventually she sort of got caught, lost him, got him back and had his baby, she is straight back to heavily flirting with past flings and also potential future ones. Many people like this will never change (some few do) - let him know so he can decide if it's a risk he is willing to take or walk away with his head held high.