Punishments for nasty bullying behaviour from a 14 y/o?

Errata

He landed a man punch in your daughter's stomach this morning, and she's still sore some twelve hours later? What are you doing about it?

grey_lady

Has your daughter been checked over by the doctor? sometimes internal injuries can get progressively worse and be very serious - don't mean to worry you, but worth a quick chat wbith nhs direct if she hasn't been seen.

Ruby_woo

Few points spring to mind in no order:

1) get dd checked out

2) do you think this is a one off or do you think it will continue

3) i think you're pregnant? What if he had done this to you?

4) you really need to get some help, teenager years as I'm sure you know are hard

5) does he spend much time with his dad?

6) how many children do you have pigpen?

7) I understand rituals are important to him. Do all the other family members appreciate that?
Xxx

Pechow

pigpen wrote: »

The only activity he wants to do regularly is play on the laptop, though we do play games online together and do have a chat facility on there. He has never expressed an interest in doing anything, he doesn't do sport and struggles with taking turns at things so games are difficult, even with just 2 playing.

He is all calm and pleasant now behaving like nothing has happened.

He let the cat out last night and the punishment was finding him again and putting him back out.. same rules as everyone else.. OH has lots of trouble catching cats.

Smacking him is not an option at all, he is 14 and 5ft 8 so my 5ft 3..

I can understand that. <snip>

Did you ask him why he took that specific action of punching your daughter?

pigpen

Ruby_woo wrote: »

Few points spring to mind in no order:

1) get dd checked out .. She has been dancing this evening so I don't think there is anything to worry about. I did ask her dad to take her to minor injuries but when he got back from work she was laughing and joking and being silly.

2) do you think this is a one off or do you think it will continue .. Psychic abilities are not a strong point but we have to hope it is a one off.

3) i think you're pregnant? What if he had done this to you?.. I'd have laid him on his backside probably before my brain knew what my instincts were doing.. he wouldn't be the first person bigger than me to come a cropper... handful of shirt foot in back of knee twist and bigger person is on the floor.. I did it with DS1 when he was drunk and trying it on with his dad at 1am and he was being a tool.. he wasn't hurt just placed on the floor.

4) you really need to get some help, teenager years as I'm sure you know are hard

Easier said than done, but I have a few ideas.

5) does he spend much time with his dad?

His waste of space other parent said he doesn't want him in his house.. That was dealt with very sharply.. erm.. tough.. he is your son you don't have that option and disowning him when he think his dad hates him anyway is going to be really helpful..

6) how many children do you have pigpen?

I don't see how that is relevant, if I have 2 or 102 it doesn't change the personality of one. It is possible to have 1 child and them to have issues like this.

7) I understand rituals are important to him. Do all the other family members appreciate that?
Xxx

We are all pretty rigid in our routines so *penny drops* things rarely change...

I'm having a new bath fitted (hopefully) we have new flooring n the loo and bathroom. We have disruption in the kitchen (where todays incident happened) with a collapsed unit and a hole in the ceiling... I think I discovered the main trigger!

Ruby_woo

You have taken my question in totally the wrong way about how many children you have. I was going to make a suggestion but hey ho. Good luck to you

Person_one

She has 10 children, another on the way.

People are just trying to help PP.

Ruby_woo

Yes person one I have just read that plus I read a couple of pigpens posts on the CAMHS AND SEN CHILDREN thread. It appears that ds behaved like that before when she was 8 months pregnant! Maybe he is worried about another baby?

pigpen

I haven't been 8 months pregnant for over 21 years.. are you maybe confusing him with the incident with DS2 when I was 6 months pregnant with my now 2 year old? I intervened in their brawling and took the brunt of a headbutt?

They haven't been told about this one yet .

Ruby_woo

My 14y/o son has a variety of difficulties.. development delay of 2+ years, severe dyslexia and dyspraxia and growth hormone deficiency.. I have been advised by a parent support worker and the SENco at school to have a referral to CAMHS for him. He has been getting increasingly violent towards my daughters and myself, which is not good at 8 months pregnant.. (me not him )

I have had experience of them in the past with DS3 and they were pretty useless if I am honest..

Has anyone any positive experiences? What SHOULD we expect from them?

I am really reluctant to be in touch with them again when they were so very useless last time.. they were meant to be doing a report they diagnosed Aspergers and the report never materialised nor did any of the support they claimed would be forthcoming.

Any pointers on what to ask of them and what to expect of them would be appreciated.. tia