Punishments for nasty bullying behaviour from a 14 y/o?

*max*

Obviously, the circumstances are completely different, but I just read this article on the BBC news website and though it was relevant to show what a blow to the abdomen can do to a child (even though in this case the poor child had suffered other forms of physical abuse as well): http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-22111433

Quote: "The cause of her death was not some freak injury or terrible accident but blunt force trauma to her abdomen that had been delivered with such force that it had caused massive and ultimately fatal internal injuries.

"Part of her bowel had been completely severed by the force of the blow."

Just thought it worth pointing out that a "man hit" to a child's stomach isn't something to simply brush off.

pigpen

Treevo wrote: »

Your son showed quite frightening levels of violence to his younger and weaker sibling and you then allow him near his other siblings who maybe wouldn't survive the same level of assault?! Wow.

What an idiotic comment.. what are people meant to do? Lock him in the shed? Make him live somewhere else? Get him a dog crate to live in? build a dungeon in the house? That would be really helpful and productive and help him feel loved.

I'm glad he lives with me sometimes.. I am now very grateful for that I dread to think what you would do with the poor boy if he was yours!!! :eek:

Joons

pigpen wrote: »

What an idiotic comment.. what are people meant to do? Lock him in the shed? Make him live somewhere else? Get him a dog crate to live in? build a dungeon in the house? That would be really helpful and productive and help him feel loved.

I'm glad he lives with me sometimes.. I am now very grateful for that I dread to think what you would do with the poor boy if he was yours!!! :eek:

Agreed Pigpen, talk about taking it to a whole new level.

Just to say, myself and my sister knocked ten bells out of each other and neither of us had learning difficulties, there was windows broken, shoes hurled about the place, my poor parents.

And, after all that, we remained normal human beings and are best friends now. I think there's so much over reaction on here it's not real.

CH27

Joons wrote: »

Agreed Pigpen, talk about taking it to a whole new level.

Just to say, myself and my sister knocked ten bells out of each other and neither of us had learning difficulties, there was windows broken, shoes hurled about the place, my poor parents.

And, after all that, we remained normal human beings and are best friends now. I think there's so much over reaction on here it's not real.

You think it's acceptable that a 14 year old delivered a ''man's punch'' to a 10 year old girl?

Joons

CH27 wrote: »

You think it's acceptable that a 14 year old delivered a ''man's punch'' to a 10 year old girl?

Of course not, who would??? My parents didn't find it acceptable either that I punched my sister and vice versa but hey ho, we stayed in the family home without outside intervention, it's called being kids and growing up.

The OP knows better than any of us what's good for her kids so folk continuing to `force` her to do it their way is just ott.

Kayalana99

I think Joons was on about the replys. No one here is saying thats its ok!

People keep twisting each others words or not reading the posts properly...but the point of this thread was it was a one time thing that yes - could happen again which is why she wanted a suitable punishment to make the child realise he was in the wrong, but we make mistakes espically at kids age and to say that he shouldn't be allowed near his sisters and brothers because of this is OTT.

delain

My DD1 has lashed out at me in frustration in the past... And there are incidents occasionally between her and her (close in age) siblings.

She is a different person most of the time and she is slowly learning that there are better ways to solve problems...

She is wonderful with younger children. She often plays out close to home and I've had parents of the younger ones seek me out to tell me how good she is with them.

Her two youngest siblings adore her and she has never shown any temper towards them at all and gets upset if they get told off! She also reads to them (through choice) and it makes her happy.

Would you all say that because she has hit someone once they should all be denied the positive interactions they have every day?

iwb100

This is very contextual and I think people are just looking at it with very different eyes and from their own experiences.

In some circumstances if a 14 year old lad punched his 10 year old sister in the stomach I think it would be entirely appropriate to not let him alone with her unsupervised. 14 year olds can be different some can be more like 18 year olds mentally and physically, others can be more like 10 year olds in both characteristics. It depends how you view it.

In this case there is an underlying, known, reason, in the aspergers. Were that not there then some of the reactions on here would be appropriate too.But it is, so they are not.

Kids of course all fight, but again that is purely contextual. A little scrap here or there at age 5 or 6 is usual. If they're fighting, physically as 11/12/12 year olds it could be a lot more serious.

Many moons ago when I was young a lad (about 9) on our street had a fight with one of the younger ones and broke his arm badly. The attitude of most parents to that point where scuffles and the like occured was very much "boys will be boys". After that incident the attitude didn't change much except a nervous mum would usually be ready to spring out of her house if she thought it was getting too rough. I don't think keeping us apart was the way to go. Having said that if any of us had punched our younger sisters in the stomach (which we wouldn't have dared) there would have been a very different reaction..........

j.e.j.

Well, I hope things have calmed down a bit now Pigpen. You know best if you need to go to anyone else for outside help, you've been dealing with kids for years now I hope the little girl is ok, too. What a rotten thing for her older brother to have done. I hope he has at least said sorry to her.

pigpen

Mine is definitely more 10 than 18 in his behaviour and mannerisms and everything. He still plays for hours with his lego men.. not the bricks he doesn't like those. He takes his tiger to bed and wears his Spiderman tshirts and star wars undies.. definitely not emotionally mature. The first response to most traumas is to come to me for a hug. I honestly don't think he comprehends the difference in size or strength or how it compares.

DS3 has been shadowed this morning which is why I was willing to allow him to do normal things within the house. The problem with ASD's is they don't often associate stuff today with stuff from yesterday or last week or tomorrow... he is all about right now and today.

My oldest son and my youngest brother are best of friends yet still fight like they are 5.. they are 21 and 23!!! I throw them out when they start.. crazy people. They have no excuse they are just a pair of wallies!

Hopefully our chat this evening will be effective