Punishments for nasty bullying behaviour from a 14 y/o?

j.e.j.

gingin wrote: »

Is it really funny? We're talking an assault here by a soon to be adult who can't control his temper on someone much smaller. I know that our PCSO's are very involved in the community and would be happy to help out if they know they could prevent a further and potentially more aggravated assault.

A friend of mine's brother punched her in the eye. I remember her going round with a shiner. Not good, but these things happen between siblings. I do think some people on this thread are getting a bit carried away.

Person_one

Kayalana99 wrote: »

He's a 14 year old kid not a criminal!!

The two are not mutually exclusive. He's well above the age of criminal responsibility and if he'd done this to a child outside the family the police would almost certainly be involved.

bigmaz

pigpen wrote: »

If you read the first post you would see that is what my initial question was.. new ways to deal with this serious behaviour because the normal methods don't work with some children and most normal forms of punishment aren't appropriate.

Sorry PigPen, I realise it must be different for you dealing with AS. I just kinda meant in general, went a bit off topic

Joons

bigmaz wrote: »

Are you kidding? I would never have hit my sister in the stomach at full force, maybe trip her up and wind her up etc, but never a man punch to the stomach.......

Well I hit my sister, slapped her and punched her, she did the same to me and as I'VE ALREADY SAID, we got over it and incidentally neither of us had learning difficulties like this poor lad has!

Pechow

gingin wrote: »

Is it really funny? We're talking an assault here by a soon to be adult who can't control his temper on someone much smaller. I know that our PCSO's are very involved in the community and would be happy to help out if they know they could prevent a further and potentially more aggravated assault.

To be honest, this could actually be a good idea-he has Aspergers, he is very likely to struggle to understand why what he did was a bad thing, even if he does know that it was bad, if you get what I mean. Just telling him, or getting him to say sorry, won't work if he struggles with empathy in the sense of putting himself into someone else's shoes. A PCSO, assuming they are forewarned that he has Aspergers and so talks to him according, could actually help a bit-as a sort of symbol, of a higher authority, talking to him and telling him that it was wrong and why, and that he needs to control his temper and find other ways to deal with it. It might come across differently coming from a uniform.

Not sure how to explain it better but hopefully you can see what I'm getting at.

Joons

Kayalana99 wrote: »

It's funny because its true. :T

Laughable indeed....:p

pigpen

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I know I am probally going to get flamed for this but if he had punched PP's 10 year old son instead of a DD this would be an entirely differnt thread. :cool:

It would be a different thread.. but I would be treating it exactly the same at home.

We have had incidents when he was standing in the dinner queue at school and 3 little cows, 2 bigger than him, in his class set about him. He has marks around his neck from them pulling him backwards by his shirt, he had cuts and scratches on his scalp from them clawing him and pulling his hair and he had scratches all down one side of his face. He lashed out and hit one of them in the face and unfortunately broke her nose. Yet they got off scot free.. other than the one with the injury I guess.. and he was sent home from school and not allowed to go to a school disco... big deal at 9!

At the meeting with the head I did point this out and the sexist attitudes and compounding it was ok for them to hit boys but not vice versa which is highly inappropriate.

gingin_2

Pechow wrote: »

To be honest, this could actually be a good idea-he has Aspergers, he is very likely to struggle to understand why what he did was a bad thing, even if he does know that it was bad, if you get what I mean. Just telling him, or getting him to say sorry, won't work if he struggles with empathy in the sense of putting himself into someone else's shoes. A PCSO, assuming they are forewarned that he has Aspergers and so talks to him according, could actually help a bit-as a sort of symbol, of a higher authority, talking to him and telling him that it was wrong and why, and that he needs to control his temper and find other ways to deal with it. It might come across differently coming from a uniform.

Not sure how to explain it better but hopefully you can see what I'm getting at.

No, you explained it better than myself. It's what I meant, particularly in relation to it being associated with his aspergers. Not that every sibling spat requires a 999 call. I don't know how many people on this thread have had dealings with PCSO's but here, they are on the street, ready to support the community.

gazzak_2

pigpen wrote: »

It would be a different thread.. but I would be treating it exactly the same at home.

We have had incidents when he was standing in the dinner queue at school and 3 little cows, 2 bigger than him, in his class set about him. He has marks around his neck from them pulling him backwards by his shirt, he had cuts and scratches on his scalp from them clawing him and pulling his hair and he had scratches all down one side of his face. He lashed out and hit one of them in the face and unfortunately broke her nose. Yet they got off scot free.. other than the one with the injury I guess.. and he was sent home from school and not allowed to go to a school disco... big deal at 9!

At the meeting with the head I did point this out and the sexist attitudes and compounding it was ok for them to hit boys but not vice versa which is highly inappropriate.

So lets get this straight, (without the excuses please), your Son punched your young disabled Daughter as hard as he could in the stomach, and broke the nose of a girl at school?

You need serious professional help NOW.

bigmaz

Joons wrote: »

Well I hit my sister, slapped her and punched her, she did the same to me and as I'VE ALREADY SAID, we got over it and incidentally neither of us had learning difficulties like this poor lad has!

Man punched her in the stomach?