FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

Finally got away 'to go to the loo'. I've been reading your posts, which are so appreciated.

Several people have asked where 'OH' is, I've told them that he's ill and they believe me. They're all lovely and I hate lying to them. Dreading next weekend.

I've had 2 whiskies and am currently holed up in the kitchen making sandwiches and doling out drinks.


Roll on bedtime.

marisco_2

Tayforth you are not lying to anyone. Your ex is ill. You do not choose to treat someone you are married to as he did you when you are mentally well. He has huge psyhcological problems and is a very sick man, as your disclosures on this thread about all he has said and done to you sadly prove.

Perryl_2

marisco wrote: »

Tayforth you are not lying to anyone. Your ex is ill. You do not choose to treat someone you are married to as he did you when you are mentally well. He has huge psyhcological problems and is a very sick man, as your disclosures on this thread about all he has said and done to you sadly prove.

Marisco is very right Tayforth. Everyone I'm sure will understand you wanted this to be about your sister and it is all raw for you, that it wasn't the right time to tell them the details, not for you. You've come so far in such a short time. You can get through this and next weekend too I'm sure.

tayforth

Thank you both. I know, you're right. He is very likely ill. And I can get through tonight and the wedding. But right now, it all seems a bit too much.

I'm so close to cracking. All I wanted was to be left in the kitchen, but my mum and sister keep coming in and taking over, and I feel useless. I tried to help my mum with something but she told me to leave it alone. I took a very deep breath and came upstairs to calm down.

I wish that I could just go to bed. I suppose I could, technically it's not my party. And if I'm so crap in the kitchen, why do I need to be down there??


Also, last time I came upstairs with my phone, everyone assumed that I was phoning my ex and asked me how he was when I came back.


FML.

tayforth

I just want to be back in my little house, on my own, and not have to pretend to be a happy newlywed to my family, friends and neighbours.

busiscoming2

tayforth wrote: »

I just want to be back in my little house, on my own, and not have to pretend to be a happy newlywed to my family, friends and neighbours.

Not long and it will all be over. Keep going you are nearly at the final hurdle.

msb5262

Sorry you're feeling like this now tayforth - can you say you've got a headache and need to go to bed? It sounds as if you've had more than enough to cope with today. You can always pass it off as too much whisky if anyone asks...

marisco_2

Okay, bit of a pep talk coming up. It is admirable that despite all you have been through, your first priorities are still to put others feelings ahead of your own, by not speaking of what has gone on before the wedding. That speaks volumes to me about what a considerate and caring person you are.

However, there comes a time when you have to prioritise yourself. A person can only cope with so much before the strain takes its toll and pulls them under. Dont let yourself get to that stage. You are already suffering stress related shock symptoms with the rash and effected breathing.

Dont do anything that you dont feel comfy about or that adds to your stress levels. Tell your family you are tired and not feeling a hundred percent, which would not be a lie and retire to bed. Have some time quietly to rest and recharge. You are going to need all your strength to get through the wedding.

I truly hope that when you finally feel you can tell all those around you what has happened to you, that they offer as much love, care and consideration to you, as you have shown to them.

tayforth

Just told my mum that I might go to bed, as I've been awake since 6am, and she said that I couldn't go to bed while we still have visitors. And she added: "I've been up preparing stuff since 8am!" The implication being that I should have come home last night, then I would have been here to help her this morning.

She doesn't know why I couldn't get home last night, of course.

tayforth

Thanks to you all. Your kindness and pep talks are keeping me going this evening.