FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Person_one

Maybe it would be better to say now, before she gets too worked up about it:

"Mum, we're having some problems at the moment and we've both decided its better that he doesn't come to the wedding. Let's just please enjoy the wedding without him for now though, for sister's sake."

That way, she'll back off a bit and you can hopefully relax a bit but you don't have to go through the whole thing.

tayforth

Person_one wrote: »

Maybe it would be better to say now, before she gets too worked up about it:

"Mum, we're having some problems at the moment and we've both decided its better that he doesn't come to the wedding. Let's just please enjoy the wedding without him for now though, for sister's sake."

That way, she'll back off a bit and you can hopefully relax a bit but you don't have to go through the whole thing.

I know, this would probably be best. But she'll think that the problems aren't that serious and shouldn't stop him coming to the wedding.

This completely and utterly sucks.

Peanut2013

What would happen if you were honest? I know everyones parents are different but I wish I'd been honest with my dad before.

Person_one

tayforth wrote: »

I know, this would probably be best. But she'll think that the problems aren't that serious and shouldn't stop him coming to the wedding.

This completely and utterly sucks.

I just think that getting deeper and deeper into a tangle of lies will do your state of mind no good at all, and risks you being questioned and turning it into a bigger thing than it needs to be regarding the wedding.

Hardly any of us are good liars, that's why when you do need to bend the truth a bit its always better to pick something as close to the truth as possible!

tooldle

Better to be honest, otherwise they might hear the news first from someone other than you.

Brighton_belle

tooldle wrote: »

Better to be honest, otherwise they might hear the news first from someone other than you.

Is there any chance his mother will communicate with your mother?
I'm with Person one on this, but understand it is your decision and only you know your family etc.

zzzLazyDaisy

tooldle wrote: »

Better to be honest, otherwise they might hear the news first from someone other than you.

When I split with my ex he phoned my sister and made sure he got his story in first, making out that he had no idea why I had told him to leave and he was heartbroken and desperately wanted to save our marriage, 'even though she is having an affair' (I have never cheated in my life, and he knew my views on adultery). For years afterwards I was to blame in the eyes of my family, especially as I never attempted to defend myself. If you think there is any chance at all that he might contact your family, please take your mum into your confidence, and ask her not to tell your sister until after the wedding. Otherwise there is a risk that they may think your 'pack of lies' supports his version of events.....

xxx

AlwaysAllie

tayforth wrote: »

I know, this would probably be best. But she'll think that the problems aren't that serious and shouldn't stop him coming to the wedding.

This completely and utterly sucks.

This is a really difficult time and lots of people are advising you to tell you mum. However you need to do what you are comfortable with, we don't know your mum, sister, family, sister or friends.

Take a deep breath and do what YOU want. You already know you're strong enough to cope with anything after this week.

AA

tayforth

He's gone back on his word about letting me have the car. I can't f*cking believe it.

Now I can't go and see my friend this evening, and I can't go to my mum's until tomorrow (public transport finished for the day), and I'll have to ring her and invent a good reason why. Just when she's already p*ssed off and suspicious.

I'm crying and feel totally useless.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

tayforth wrote: »

He's gone back on his word about letting me have the car. I can't f*cking believe it.

Now I can't go and see my friend this evening, and I can't go to my mum's until tomorrow (public transport finished for the day), and I'll have to ring her and [STRIKE]invent a good reason[/STRIKE] tell her why. Just when she's already p*ssed off and suspicious.

I'm crying and feel totally useless.

Tay - just tell her!