FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

mcja

Maybe he's twigged what a bar steward he has been.
Make sure no one sees you at work, they may section you!!!
Xx

tayforth

mcja wrote: »

Maybe he's twigged what a bar steward he has been.
Make sure no one sees you at work, they may section you!!!
Xx

LOL.

And maybe he has twigged. I reckon he has, he admitted as much on Monday evening.

But I just don't care. He's of no concern to me now. What happens to him from this point on is not my business, and it's like a huge, heavy weight off my shoulders.

mcja

Good. Pleased to read that.

Xx

neneromanova

When you get home, you need to lock the doors, go snuggle up on the sofa and have a really really good cry. You will feel so much better after it I know I always do. It can be your release for everything that has happened over the past couple of days

tayforth

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!

It won't be all happy at first, sometimes you'll have days where it just overwhelms you, but the sheer relief of knowing you no longer have something in your life that is making you so miserable will outweigh it all.

This was me....

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2539433

We actually struggled through it ( he always denied it, and I could never prove it) so we struggled on. I probably shouldn't have, but you know from what I've said that I eventually made that break and it was the BEST decision I've ever made in my life. The past year since we split has been full of so many positives, I look back now and realsie how totally weighed down my life was. It was no life at all. Now I have life, a life filled with things I like, people who love and care about me. All through this year I have been told how much better I am, and I've felt it so much. But just recently ( as i've told you) I've moved on to the next stage again! I needed a year just for me, and I loved it all, I thought I was as happy as I could ever be. But this week's made me realise I can be even happier! Who knew life was so good?
In fact in work yesterday my two closest friends were talking as I walked past and called me over. They'd been talking about me, and how fantastic it was to see me so happy, with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.
Have a wonderful day, embrace every opportunity and take care xx

tayforth wrote: »

Thanks so much. I'll read through your thread in a minute, thanks for sharing it with me. And I can almost feel the twinkle in your eye! It's heartening to hear your story and how happy you are. I will be in touch with you xx

I've now finished reading your whole thread. Wow. What a courageous and dignified woman you are. And how selfless of you to put everyone else first - your children and his parents especially.

I'm really inspired by you and I'm in awe of how you managed to keep your cool, wait until you felt it was the right time to act, and then just tell him calmly what you knew and that was that. No going back, no backing down, no second chances. You put yourself first for a change - and about time. And I'm delighted that your life has turned out so much better since then

BTW, I didn't agree with 1sttimer's views at all and I thought that she was a bit preachy and judgemental towards you when you needed understanding and support. Everyone is different, and people of course feel the need to justify staying in an unhappy marriage. But her approach wouldn't be for me. No way could I keep it to myself if I knew that my OH had cheated on me, let alone stay with him. And it's telling that she said: I often wondered if I did the right thing in staying.

tayforth

mcja wrote: »

Good. Pleased to read that.

Xx

I'm pleased to feel it! I didn't expect to feel so sure about my decision, but I am.

neneromanova wrote: »

When you get home, you need to lock the doors, go snuggle up on the sofa and have a really really good cry. You will feel so much better after it I know I always do. It can be your release for everything that has happened over the past couple of days

Well, maybe not as soon as I get home - the ex is calling round for more of his stuff and I want to be cool, calm and collected. I'll ask him to start with the bedroom and make sure everything's gone from there. My intended message will be:

(a) I want the bedroom to myself, it's the most intimate part of my house and I don't feel comfortable with you being there any more, you have no right to be there;

and

(b) I'm confident enough to assert what I want.


Only this evening and one more trip next week, and then he and all his belongings will be GONE FOR GOOD.

JohnnyJet

I've been off work this week with a bad back and happened to see this thread, after a whole day of reading I have finally read all of it. I was so desperate to see that things had worked out for you, I fell asleep reading it last night.
Can I say that I think you have done remarkably well so far, you just have to keep it going. You have obviously completely made up your mind so don't give him any chance of thinking he can get back with you. Do you have a friend you can confide in tonight after he has gone?
Good luck with tonight, I hope it all goes smoothly.

tayforth

JohnnyJet wrote: »

I've been off work this week with a bad back and happened to see this thread, after a whole day of reading I have finally read all of it. I was so desperate to see that things had worked out for you, I fell asleep reading it last night.
Can I say that I think you have done remarkably well so far, you just have to keep it going. You have obviously completely made up your mind so don't give him any chance of thinking he can get back with you. Do you have a friend you can confide in tonight after he has gone?
Good luck with tonight, I hope it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much, I'm amazed that you've read the whole thing And really touched.

I'll maybe call my closest friend after he's been this evening, and if I can't get hold of her I'll come on here! But I'll be posting an update regardless.

Sincere thanks again for your good wishes xx

tayforth

I'm now home and waiting for him to arrive to pick up some more of his things. Any advice?

duckeggblue

Hold your head high, you've got dignity. X
Now you are in control of your emotions, let your dignity get you through.
If he asks you anything you don't want to discuss, tell him you'll get back to him on it.