FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

hulltiger1969

Morning Tay

You are doing amazing, I would just keep looking to future, you know how happy you are going to be VERY soon, focus on that and keep strong.

Hugs to you
xxxxxx

tayforth

Thanks, both of you. Your word have helped me, I'm about to cry reading them but I won't.

Not long to go. Only 2 days until I tell him.

Just_a_Girl_2

What he's done is wrong, there's no denying that. I can't help but feel a bit of sympathy for him at the moment though the way you are stringing him along. Just tell him and put him out of his misery already. Or does it make you feel better that he is hopeful?

Yorkie1

She wants to tell him in person, and is not at home because of obligatory pre-sister's-wedding commitments.

Rock and hard place really.

marisco_2

duckeggblue wrote: »

Jar of hearts
By Christina perry, a song, poem about domestic abuse.

Sorry if some find this cheesy but it totally encapsulates that moment when you "get it" get that you've been abused and- there's no going back ( took me quite a lot of help from womens aid before I got there) also the cold detached arrogance of the abuser.

From that-I've got my " self" back-woohoo

By a strange coincidence this song was playing on the radio as I drove back from having made a statement to the police about my ex. They had just spelt it out to me in no uncertain terms how much risk I was at, by being anywhere near him. I find it hard to listen to this song now as it instantly takes me back to that time.

tayforth

Just_a_Girl wrote: »

What he's done is wrong, there's no denying that. I can't help but feel a bit of sympathy for him at the moment though the way you are stringing him along. Just tell him and put him out of his misery already. Or does it make you feel better that he is hopeful?

As Yorkie1 says, I'll be telling him as soon as I possibly can. Monday evening. I'd love to have done it the second I got off the train yesterday. It can't happen soon enough for me. And I am ending it now instead of after my sister's wedding precisely *because* I don't want to string him along. Whereas he's strung me along for years with his manipulative, abusive behaviour.


As for your question, nothing about this makes me feel good at all. I don't want him to be hopeful. I want him out of my life forever. There is no chance of me changing my mind.

Yorkie1 wrote: »

She wants to tell him in person, and is not at home because of obligatory pre-sister's-wedding commitments.

Rock and hard place really.

Thank you xx

marisco wrote: »

By a strange coincidence this song was playing on the radio as I drove back from having made a statement to the police about my ex. They had just spelt it out to me in no uncertain terms how much risk I was at, by being anywhere near him. I find it hard to listen to this song now as it instantly takes me back to that time.

I must remember not to play any music on Monday evening. How horrid for you to be reminded of that day. Music can evoke powerful memories. Hugs xxx

paulineb_2

Just_a_Girl wrote: »

What he's done is wrong, there's no denying that. I can't help but feel a bit of sympathy for him at the moment though the way you are stringing him along. Just tell him and put him out of his misery already. Or does it make you feel better that he is hopeful?

I think misery is what the OP has been feeling for quite some time.

Theres no need to abuse people and I wouldnt have any sympathy for someone who made someone elses life a misery.

Better over for both their sakes. But I agree, get it over and done with sooner rather than later.

Joyful

Best of luck that it goes okay for you on Monday. It's such a shame that so many people have been in abusive relationships including me. The best thing is to get out of them.

harrys_nan

Keep your chin up my love, not long to go now and you will have the hardest part over, telling him. I think you have been hard on yourself because of not wanting to upset your family, so you will be feeling more under stress than otherwise.
When you have told him and your family it will be like a weight being lifted off your shoulders and you will start to recover yourself.
I wish you well for Monday evening when you speak with him but please take care as the outcome will not be in his mindset.

Onwards and upwards, Life can only get better xx

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

I think misery is what the OP has been feeling for quite some time.

Theres no need to abuse people and I wouldnt have any sympathy for someone who made someone elses life a misery.

Better over for both their sakes. But I agree, get it over and done with sooner rather than later.

Thank you Pauline, you're right xxx

Joyful wrote: »

Best of luck that it goes okay for you on Monday. It's such a shame that so many people have been in abusive relationships including me. The best thing is to get out of them.

I'm so sorry that you've had a similar experience to me. My heart goes out to you. And your last sentence sums it all up really xx

harrys_nan wrote: »

Keep your chin up my love, not long to go now and you will have the hardest part over, telling him. I think you have been hard on yourself because of not wanting to upset your family, so you will be feeling more under stress than otherwise.
When you have told him and your family it will be like a weight being lifted off your shoulders and you will start to recover yourself.
I wish you well for Monday evening when you speak with him but please take care as the outcome will not be in his mindset.

Onwards and upwards, Life can only get better xx

Thank you again for your kind and wise words. I know that he may react badly; I'm hoping that it's not too unpleasant, but we shall see. I'll keep reminding myself that soon he'll be gone, and then I can breathe easier.



As for telling my family - it can't come soon enough xx