FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

Quick update for those following this thread. I'm staying with a friend for a couple of days. We've talked endlessly, and I'm 100% convinced that I'm doing the right thing. I'm at peace with my decision. I have no doubts at all.

This is the strongest and most decisive I've felt in a long time. I just need to keep reinforce my feelings and reminding myself why I'm ending it.

Things have to get better from here.


I'll write more when I get back home xx

gazzak_2

tayforth wrote: »

I'm 100% convinced that I'm doing the right thing. I'm at peace with my decision. I have no doubts at all.

That's great because for those of us looking in from the outside and with no emotional attachment it is also obvious that your decision is 100% correct.

Enjoy your wonderful new life.

flutterby_lil

Good luck with everything, I have been reading and following your thread.

You sound incredibly brave and strong.

I was once in your position, about 6 years ago. I had been with an older man (14 years older) since the age of 18. He was incredibly controlling, abusive (both mentally and physically), cheated on me, got som,ebody pregnant behiond my back, etc etc.

I knew I needed to leave him, but it took years to do it.

The final straw came when he started drug dealing. Luckily we had no children together, just a mortgage, joint finance etc. I was pregnant 2 years before I left but sadly miscarried, I look back now and thank the lord that I didnt have a baby with him, as devestating as the miscarriage was at the time.

I have told you this to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I now have two gorgeous children, a boy and a girl and a fantatsic partner who works very hard, provides for our children and loves me dearly. I have just gone back to work after maternity leave after having my second baby. Life has worked out very well for me.

There is somebody out there for you who will treat you like you deserve to be treated, like a princess, with respect, love, and devotion. I couldnt ask for more.

Mojisola

flutterby_lil wrote: »

There is somebody out there for you who will treat you like you deserve to be treated, like a princess, with respect, love, and devotion. I couldnt ask for more.

This may be true but, if it isn't, there's nothing wrong with living your life as a happy, single person!

flutterby_lil

Mojisola wrote: »

This may be true but, if it isn't, there's nothing wrong with living your life as a happy, single person!

Correct Mojisola, I was just menaing that she doesn't need to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't treat her right, when the time comes for a new relationship there are men who will treat her better. I wasn't meaning in any way, shape or form, she should jump straight into a new relationship.

Orlando_Virgin

tayforth wrote: »

Quick update for those following this thread. I'm staying with a friend for a couple of days. We've talked endlessly, and I'm 100% convinced that I'm doing the right thing. I'm at peace with my decision. I have no doubts at all.

This is the strongest and most decisive I've felt in a long time. I just need to keep reinforce my feelings and reminding myself why I'm ending it.

Things have to get better from here.


I'll write more when I get back home xx

I am SO, SO pleased and relieved for you that you have done the right thing Tayforth. When time passes by you will look back and see that this was the BEST decision you ever made. :T

Keep strong and keep us posted, I know I for one will be here for you every step!

emmadragon

Hi,

I'll be honest and say I've not read all the replies before posting this and I hope you forgive me if someone else has already mentioned it but please think about couples counselling, i.e. Relate

I cannot recommend it highly enough as they can help you though any situation, either seeing you together or separately and helping you through the break up.

I have personally used them twice before, once during a breakup and more recently to patch up my existing relationship. I don't really want to go into too much detail here but if you want to PM me I'd be happy to discuss.

Good luck in whatever you decide xx

tayforth

gazzak wrote: »

That's great because for those of us looking in from the outside and with no emotional attachment it is also obvious that your decision is 100% correct.

Enjoy your wonderful new life.

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

I am SO, SO pleased and relieved for you that you have done the right thing Tayforth. When time passes by you will look back and see that this was the BEST decision you ever made. :T

Keep strong and keep us posted, I know I for one will be here for you every step!

Thank you both. I'm so grateful that you've taken the time to post and wish me luck. I know that it's easy to see what's right and wrong from the outside. I've advised many posters here myself under my usual username; at times the solution is blindingly obvious to everyone but the OP. Or the OP knows what they should do but lack the guts to do it, for often understandable reasons.

I may have taken a while to come to this decision, but the support that I've had from you all in this thread has really given me the courage to act. And ive stppped beating myself up about everything. So thanks xxx

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Good luck with everything, I have been reading and following your thread.

You sound incredibly brave and strong.

I was once in your position, about 6 years ago. I had been with an older man (14 years older) since the age of 18. He was incredibly controlling, abusive (both mentally and physically), cheated on me, got som,ebody pregnant behiond my back, etc etc.

I knew I needed to leave him, but it took years to do it.

The final straw came when he started drug dealing. Luckily we had no children together, just a mortgage, joint finance etc. I was pregnant 2 years before I left but sadly miscarried, I look back now and thank the lord that I didnt have a baby with him, as devestating as the miscarriage was at the time.

I have told you this to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I now have two gorgeous children, a boy and a girl and a fantatsic partner who works very hard, provides for our children and loves me dearly. I have just gone back to work after maternity leave after having my second baby. Life has worked out very well for me.

There is somebody out there for you who will treat you like you deserve to be treated, like a princess, with respect, love, and devotion. I couldnt ask for more.

Thank you. I know that such a man does exist; unfortunately he's my OH's friend. I have deep feelings for him, I've actually spent the last few days analysing them, and they're real. So I've already met my 'prince'... but sadly nothing can come of it

tayforth

emmadragon wrote: »

Hi,

I'll be honest and say I've not read all the replies before posting this and I hope you forgive me if someone else has already mentioned it but please think about couples counselling, i.e. Relate

I cannot recommend it highly enough as they can help you though any situation, either seeing you together or separately and helping you through the break up.

I have personally used them twice before, once during a breakup and more recently to patch up my existing relationship. I don't really want to go into too much detail here but if you want to PM me I'd be happy to discuss.

Good luck in whatever you decide xx

Thank you. I may continue counselling for me, but I have NO interest in joint counselling, for reasons explained above xx

CH27

So when are you going to tell him it's over?