FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

neverdespairgirl

securityguy wrote: »

While living in the same house, you communicated by email?

I live with my partner, and often send him emails during the day. Why not?

mortgagenomore_2

Psocial you clearly have not read the whole thread she no longer wants be be with this man so there is nothing to talk about she has made up her mind simples.
And as for the comment about communicating by email when they live together she tried communicating with him for long enough and now he should be grateful she is emailing or would you rather she waited until he blows up and calls her lovely names, i would suggest reading the complete thread before commenting.

neverdespairgirl

tayforth wrote: »

I know. I know that she'd do anything for me, but she's SUCH a sensitive soul, and a worrier, and she's older than most mums. I don't want to stress her out.

I'm sure she is, and you don't.

But I bet you she already knows something's wrong, she's your Mum, after all.

Eager_Elephant

Was just coming on to say exactly what Yorkie 1 has said.

As you are joint tenants he has every right to be there as well as you.

Unless he goes willingly you cannot force him out.

Check the tenancy agreement to see what it says about giving notice - if only one of you has to give notice then you could do that for the joint tenancy but explain all to the landlord and then once the ex has moved out you can sign a new tenancy to start the day after the old tenancy ends.

Failing that ask the landlord to serve a Section 21 - this is 2 months notice for you both to leave though so you would have to put up with him until then! (but then you could have a single tenancy)

paulineb_2

I dont think anyone has bullied anyone else on this thread and seriously, saying that the behaviour of people who have suggested that she does tell her family are no better than her husband?

Absolutely uncalled for. If you knew what real bullying is and perhaps you do, you wouldn't direct it to people on a website who are merely expressing an opinion.

The OP can accept or reject any part of any advice she receives on here.

tayforth

joolsybools wrote: »

I don't want to worry you, but if you are there then maybe it's worth having a friend on standby nearby (car outside) just in case things get nasty. Just a thought.

I'll think about it. Thanks for the advice xx

consultant31 wrote: »

My goodness - if you can't be in a bubble on your wedding day, when is it allowed??

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

My goodness - the wedding isn't for another 3 weeks yet. Must everyone put their lives on hold lest the bride not be able to cope with someone's else's life decisions? Honestly I've never heard such rot.

Lol. Look, she's not a Bridezilla, but she is rightly excited about their big day, and I'm happy to see her like that.

tayforth

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do think that is a misuse of the word 'bully'. People have expressed strong views but always in the context of caring and explained why they feel she should.
It's the same passionately expressed valuing of the Op that has helped her reach the decision that she doesn't want to 'keep trying' in this relationship.
No one has been rude or aggressive. Some people on here also have experience of how difficult it can be for a person to leave a partner who has an emotionally abusive history. Sometimes it takes tough talking to help someone have the courage to break free.

paulineb wrote: »

I dont think anyone has bullied anyone else on this thread and seriously, saying that the behaviour of people who have suggested that she does tell her family are no better than her husband?

Absolutely uncalled for. If you knew what real bullying is and perhaps you do, you wouldn't direct it to people on a website who are merely expressing an opinion.

The OP can accept or reject any part of any advice she receives on here.

I don't feel bullied at all. As I've said, I really appreciate all your posts. Everyone has their own experiences to draw on, and you've all been at pains to point out your own perspective on things, i.e. why you feel the way you do.

Some of the most valuable posts to me have been the most strongly worded, tbh. Sometimes, straight talking is needed in a situation like this. At the same time, I've been deeply touched and encouraged by the supportive posts, they've really buoyed me up and given me strength.


xxx

tayforth

Yorkie1 wrote: »

If he is a joint tenant in the property (i.e. his name is on the tenancy / deeds) then you can't change the locks. Legally he is entitled to live there.

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Was just coming on to say exactly what Yorkie 1 has said.

As you are joint tenants he has every right to be there as well as you.

Unless he goes willingly you cannot force him out.

Check the tenancy agreement to see what it says about giving notice - if only one of you has to give notice then you could do that for the joint tenancy but explain all to the landlord and then once the ex has moved out you can sign a new tenancy to start the day after the old tenancy ends.

Failing that ask the landlord to serve a Section 21 - this is 2 months notice for you both to leave though so you would have to put up with him until then! (but then you could have a single tenancy)

Thanks for the info. I'm just going to have to hope that he leaves. Failing that, I'll leave. Or else contact the LL. But I couldn't live with him for 2 months.

pearl123 wrote: »

Tayforth....I could have written your opening tread. Not alot of fun living in a pretty loveless relationship. It's very depressing indead. At the end of the day some people love themselves so much they can't bother to give love to other peple.
(Must admit I have not read the whole tread, so I would have missed alot of info)
I still must decided what to do regarding my relationship, but I suspect I will leave someday. All the best x

Sending you hugs. Do read the whole thread if you can, there's been some great advice which may help you. Feel free to PM me as well if you like xxx

tayforth

I had an evening with my family last night. We had a few visitors too, including BIL2B. Lots of wedding talk.

It was so nice, and made me feel that I've done the right thing by not telling them yet. I know that they'd support me, but I can manage for now. We're all enjoying the excitement of this wedding, and I want to maintain it for as long possible.

mortgagenomore_2

Tayforth i felt the same when i had a family holiday and was nearing the end i just kept thinking it would eventually be over, i could have informed them beforehand but all were so excited about the holiday and i just wanted the holiday over and then do the necessary. I felt it gave me time to build up to it and personally i couldnt give a shoot about how he felt i wanted everyone else to be happy on holiday that was the least he could do.

So you go to the wedding let your sis and BIL have their day and then after you can tell them all!