FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

You already made a huge mistake, just be honest with your family and don't make another. Yes it's the only topic at the moment but they can't expect everyone around them to stop living their lives and good or bad, you are also their daughter and sister and they will cope.

Tell them now and they have a month to get over it. Lie for a month and you are basically doing what you did with your husband and assume that your happiness has less of a value than his. You are just repeating the same with your family.

Is this really how you are going to continue forever?

No. After the wedding, I'm putting ME first. I'll have done my best by my family and, however they react, I'll know that.

I wouldn't do this for a friend's wedding, they'd just have to lump it. But this is my sister.

moneycurious wrote: »

Please get the wedding out the way, your way is best - you know your family and how people react. I also know what you mean about the taking teh shine of. I built up to doing the ending after a close friends wedding, then i became ill, 7 weeks later hes here. BUT, the time has given me space from work etc to make decision that theres no mending to be done. Going to see solictor on monday. then can get in my head things that need doing. by then we will have had one of teh family functions and to be honest , by next weekend i will have asked him to leave.
chin up.
People can only offer advice, i think you like me know how you want to play it. xx

Good for you. It's hard and life does get in the way, but I'm glad that you've moved so far along and are ready to do it.

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

As i said in previous post Tayforth I waited 11 months and had to endure a holiday knowing all along in my head, it dragged but for the sake of family i didnt want to ruin their holiday, in hindsight they wouldntve cared but I personally felt I had to see it through so go to the wedding whilst getting prepared alongside for the inevitable.

Incidently how long to the wedding Tayforth?

Three weeks today.

Was it your family or his you went away with?

mortgagenomore_2

Both at different times ie his at the start mine at the end but on the aeroplane coming back my mum on left him on right me in the middle but yes Tayforth longest three weeks but also time for you to plan everything in your head so not just a rash get out of the house you will have everything sorted.

tayforth

mortgagenomore wrote: »

Both at different times ie his at the start mine at the end but on the aeroplane coming back my mum on left him on right me in the middle but yes Tayforth longest three weeks but also time for you to plan everything in your head so not just a rash get out of the house you will have everything sorted.

Oh, I don't know how you stuck it out. You must have found that holiday so hard.

tayforth

So. Practical advice needed.

I get back to our house tomorrow night. I'll be there until Wednesday morning, when I'm going away until Sunday.

Do I tell him to move out while I'm away for those 5 days, and risk him wrecking the place or damaging my things? Or do I wait until next Sunday night, and be there while he packs up so that he can't damage anything?
Also, I need the car to go away from Wed-Sun, but he'd need it to move his stuff. The week after, he can have it all week if he needs it.
What about changing locks?

Help...

hulltiger1969

Hi Tay

Your the only one who will know what he is like and if he will damage/wreck your stuff if your not there, If he is like that then ask him to move out whilst you are there, I would change the locks, one trick apparantly is, if possible just swap front lock to back lock and vice versa, apparantly no one thinks of trying their back door key in fron door :T.

tayforth

I don't honestly think that he would damage my stuff. But I want to assume the worst just in case.

And I'm ashamed to say that I couldn't change the locks on my own. I woul have to pay someone to do it.

psocial

Well I think that you need to speak to OH once and tell what exactly the problem is because it is not even good to hurt him.. If by telling him your feeling you both mutually try to give it one more try then it wont be a bad idea as I what all you wrote I figured out that he really loves you and want to be with you right? so why not

tayforth

Um.........

Heffi1

psocial wrote: »

Well I think that you need to speak to OH once and tell what exactly the problem is because it is not even good to hurt him.. If by telling him your feeling you both mutually try to give it one more try then it wont be a bad idea as I what all you wrote I figured out that he really loves you and want to be with you right? so why not

you clearly have not read the complete thread, go back and read it again and see where Tay says on more than one occasion she has reached the end of the road with this man.

He is a bully and will not stop until he is made to, or he finds another subject to humiliate.

He has the problem in this relationship and now the OP is taking charge of her life and unfortunately that no longer involves him.

The reason for the delay is how does she tell her family, not how will she reconcile with her husband.

tayforth

Heffi1 wrote: »

you clearly have not read the complete thread, go back and read it again and see where Tay says on more than one occasion she has reached the end of the road with this man.

He is a bully and will not stop until he is made to, or he finds another subject to humiliate.

He has the problem in this relationship and now the OP is taking charge of her life and unfortunately that no longer involves him.

The reason for the delay is how does she tell her family, not how will she reconcile with her husband.

Thank you Heffi1 xx