FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Alpha58

tayforth wrote: »

I have savings, I could afford to take a year out if I wanted. But to do what...?

Have PM'd you

NAR

tayforth wrote: »

You and Pauline and pixiechic are right - why couldn't I travel alone? I'll definitely have a think about it. Maybe that could be my next challenge - a week away on my own.

Another alternative to consider is a cruise. You will find there are more single "sailors" than you might think. Great food, great entertainment, a number of locations to visit, all wrapped up in the one holiday. And romance . . . . who knows?

paulineb_2

I think if you take a year out from work you would need to consider what your employers position would be on you taking unpaid leave, Im sure some employers allow it, but others wouldnt and also, remember, if you are dissatisfied with your job on some levels and we all get like that, youd need to use that year wisely to try and find another job, because unless you change the issues that make you feel as if you could do more at work, you'll be returning to the same.

The option of going job share could be something you could explore.
I also agree with the posters who are saying that returning to work would be a good idea, even if its a phased return, at some point you will need to deal with real life again and if your employer is supportive and have offered counselling take it.

Theres nothing wrong with grieving for whats happened to you and trying to work through your feelings, but thats where a good counsellor can help you. How to move on. Its about looking forward and not looking back.

Also, I might be in the minority but I think taking some time to be alone without romance in your life is a good thing. Someone catching you when you are vulnerable might not be the best idea, you need time to get over whats happened to you, but also to be able to make decisions about people and the way they behave towards you, what I mean is, you'll want the next relationship to be a positive one.

Also, there are lots of projects who need people, it doesnt need to be projects to do with domestic violence, over the years Ive volunteered for alzheimers scotland, Ive manned helplines for survivors of domestic abuse, Ive worked in a charity shop.

Ive always wanted to do something for a charity that supports the elderly, because I lost my gran two years ago but Ive not managed to do any volunteering for age concern or similar yet, but I will.
There are so many people out there who go days and weeks and dont see a single soul, giving something back can be extremely rewarding.

tayforth

Alpha58 - and Wol2 - thanks so much for your PMs. I can't reply yet as my inbox is full (again). I'm trying to keep all my PMs as they're full of good advice. I'm going to take some time tomorrow to copy them all into a folder or Word doc and keep them.

So bear with me and I will reply


Love all your tales of solo travelling - I'm definitely going to look into it!


Pauline - I totally agree that I need some time on my own. And yes, if I take time off, I will use it constructively to figure out what I really want from life. My employer does have a career break/unpaid leave policy, so there's a good chance of me getting time off if I want it.


Tbh, I would really love a year off, or even a few months. The only thing scaring me is the thought of dipping into my savings. You see, I have never relied on anyone, and I fully intend to be able to support myself financially, and buy a house at some stage. So to spend a few thousand of my savings and miss out on earnings for that period would be a big decision.


But at the end of the day, even if I ate into my house deposit, what does that mean? An extra year or two on the mortgage? Is that a big deal? Should I seize the day now (or soon)?

tayforth

And if I went away for a few months or a year before the divorce, would that affect it? I.e. would I no longer be domiciled in the UK?

Pixiechic

Life is what happens when you are busy making plans!

Travelling was one of the best things that I ever did. I will do it again too.

tayforth

Pixiechic wrote: »

Life is what happens when you are busy making plans!

Travelling was one of the best things that I ever did. I will do it again too.

Where are the best places that you've been to?

duchy

I think you're young enough to get an Australian working visa. Valid for a year.
Now that would be an adventure- Work a bit so you're not eating into too much of your savings then hop off travelling for a bit --and repeat.

If that doesn't blow the cobwebs away -I don't know what would

danandjens_worldtravels

The best places I've been (not solo but met plenty of solos - you will easily meet up with anothers to share the experience and save costs) are Nepal and New Zealand.

Trekking to Everest Base Camp was great, a real challenge but made so much fun and manageable. The other two people in our group of 4 were solo women travellers. I will happily recommend our Kathmandu based trekking tour company and this will make a great holiday, its adventurous, activity based, culturally different, food is the same enough if you want to play safe (I ate lots of egg and chips but that was due to getting ill in India) and different enough to try new things, the locals are more than friendly and safe (you'll be looked after by the guide).

New Zealand, a fantastic place and currently where we are now. Easy to travel around and if you're under 30 you can get a working holiday visa, just like Aus. I seem to recall you are over 30 but it was over 2 months ago you first posted!! :j

This website http://www.helpx.net/ is great for keeping costs down, its a volunteer work site and in return you get bed and board. We tend to stay with families or older couples and have met some lifetime friends. We first did it in the UK (as a 'tester' so to speak) and have used it to travel in NZ and Aus too. It also has a companions section, you can see from this that loads of people are going it alone. Again if you want to do some helpx in the UK with people I'd recommend let me know.

There are some great deals on https://www.holidaypirates.com and watching the deals is sure to get the desire to travel/holiday forefront in your mind!

We both gave up our jobs in the UK and started travelling in our mid 30's been back and forth twice now since 2008 (period of travelling, back to work in UK, more travelling). Its actually quite easy when you're doing it and like most things its the fear of the unknown that will stop you!

zzzLazyDaisy

tayforth wrote: »

And if I went away for a few months or a year before the divorce, would that affect it? I.e. would I no longer be domiciled in the UK?

You'll still be domiciled in UK as long as you don't run off with a portugese sailor, settle down in a shack on the beach and have half a dozen children....

:-)