FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

mintymoneysaver

There's a new 'before' movie about to come out isn't there Tay? I've never seen them but someone was telling me about them the other day so think I'll have to have a look. A weekend away with friends sounds fantastic. I try to get away when finances allow. Had a lovely weekend in Barcelona with a friend when we were both still with our husbands but struggling. We both agreed it was the best tonic ever!

lostinrates

tayforth wrote: »

Oh, LOTS of places. I'd love to go on holiday somewhere, but I couldn't go on my own. I'd want to go with a friend or in a group. Might put the word out amongst my single friends

I think back to 2 months ago and I can't believe everything that has happened. I have no regrets at all. I do feel sad about it, but I also feel relieved that I managed to make a very hard decision and follow it through xx

tayforth wrote: »

I know that I should be in bed but I'm sitting up watching 'Before Sunrise', and it's making me feel a bit melancholy. I first saw it as a teenager, and to me it was THE most romantic film ever. I still think that it's romantic, but this time round it makes me want to be 21 again or at least to have some adventure in my life! Preferably involving Paris and a handsome stranger.

Sigh...

Never heard of the film, but .....wouldn't holidaying with friends rather cramp a romance or excitement or adventure?

Perhaps a thing to consider might be a relax holiday with friends and a cultural or adventure or active holiday in a group where going solo might not be so odd?

After all, part of the adventure here is not about romance its about refinding 'tayforth'. Not that old tayforth before ex, or tayforth who is recovering ex with her family, but new tayforth as an individual. Some space, though a bit scary, both from romance but also possibly even from those who expect certain things /behaviours from you might be a revelation. And I think the very fact you feel you 'couldn't' go on your own makes me wonder if really you couldn't and wouldn't want to or if if viewed in a different way it might be as liberating as being free to move forward with life. Apart from the early days you haven't really spent much solo time, thanks to your wonderful mother, and I urge you to spend sometime becoming smitten with yourself too, not before you feel able of course.

Adventure sounds exciting. I want one!

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

Oh, LOTS of places. I'd love to go on holiday somewhere, but I couldn't go on my own. I'd want to go with a friend or in a group. Might put the word out amongst my single friends

I think back to 2 months ago and I can't believe everything that has happened. I have no regrets at all. I do feel sad about it, but I also feel relieved that I managed to make a very hard decision and follow it through xx

Why couldnt you go on your own? Ive just booked a weekend in Spain, I do have friends but for various reasons none of them would be able to come with me. Its worth thinking about.

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments and words of encouragement. I'm deeply touched. I can't believe that it's been 2 months either, it's been a blur.

Yes, Mum stopped smoking years ago, thank goodness. If she hadn't, she'd be a lot worse off. And thanks for the pep talk, Alpha58 - I promise to take the diagnosis at face value and not worry unnecessarily.

One more week until I go back to my house. I'll be seeing the occupational health people that week or the week after, and then I'll get back to work, hopefully on a phased return. I'm determined to get my life back on track, and back to normal.

But I'm also trying to think about what I really want out of life. We only get one life, and I'm not sure that I'm making the most of mine. I have savings, I could afford to take a year out if I wanted. But to do what...?




msb5262 - I'm not on any medication except the pill. I hope that your anti-depressants are working well apart from the insomnia xx

wannabee_in_credit - I've commented on your thread hon xxx

duckeggblue - lovely to hear from you again, and I'm glad that you're having more ups than downs xxxx




I've also been reading about Nigella Lawson and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I read a blog post citing what happened to her and talking about domestic abuse generally - it was a bit close to home and upsetting. I hope that she leaves him.

If you feel strongly about the issue in time you could volunteer for a refuge or a similar project that helps women or men who have suffered violence or abuse, because there are lots of places that are seriously understaffed and need the support of volunteers.

Pixiechic

paulineb wrote: »

Why couldnt you go on your own? Ive just booked a weekend in Spain, I do have friends but for various reasons none of them would be able to come with me. Its worth thinking about.

As Pauline says, why not have a mini adventure on your own?

Nothing more liberating than going away for a bit to do what you want and when you want to!

Why not Paris? Maybe meet a man in the city of love? If not, just have a fab time seeing the sites!

tayforth

Thanks all - what uplifting posts on a Monday morning

mintymoneysaver - yes, there's also 'Before Sunset', and the next one is called 'Before Midnight'. I won't spoil it for you, but it doesn't sound quite as romantic and inspiring as the first two! But I'll watch it anyway


lostinrates - that's true, of course, I do need to find myself again and I don't really need the complication of a new man ATM. That's assuming that they'd be queuing up lol. I love the way you worded your post, thank you.


You and Pauline and pixiechic are right - why couldn't I travel alone? I'll definitely have a think about it. Maybe that could be my next challenge - a week away on my own.


Pauline - I'm seriously considering it. Not right now - I need to get my own head together before trying to help others - but at some stage, I'd like to do that. I feel very strongly that I need to use my own experience to do some good.

lostinrates

You love to set big challenges! A week is a big ask from last night saying you couldn't do it at all......why not a little weekend in Paris.....one or two nights...full of things you want to see and do? If you are shy about dining alone you could go to a supper performance of something.....jazz seems to be particularly good at that (I used to get dragged to lots of jazz....thank goodness for supper ) or somewhere where the food is a spectacle. We really love la coupole, which has the bonus of lots of bench seats where waiters are likely to tactfully seat you so you can see the whole restaurant...including the men dressed in turbans serving curry to those who order Josephine Bakers favourite dish. Such theatre of food yet so fast! It's a addition we go each time in Paris.

spirit

My first holiday on my own was to Jordan. I absolutely loved it. I booked all the excursions beforehand so got to go to the Dead Sea, Petra etc. I am a diver too and plucked up the courage to dive alone (well with the Jordanian dive master ) in the Red Sea.

I did Greece the following year with Mark Warner holidays so sat on the beach watching the 'college boys' move boats up and down the beach all day

aileth

I went solo to Japan and I absolutely loved it with a capital L. No fretting, no worrying, you only have to look after yourself, no arguments with family or OH over where you're going to eat, who doesn't like what, what does 100ml of liquids mean, why is that man confiscating my handbag, but I want to go to X tourist site, etc etc.

I've never felt so free in my life. You would love it I'm sure!

zzzLazyDaisy

I have travelled all over by bus on my own in Turkey, and made some lifelong friends in the process. As a direct consequence I've lived in Turkey twice (among Turkish people, away from the tourist resorts). That adventure started when I plucked up the courage to spend a couple of weeks volunteering on an organic farm in my early 40's.

If you don't fancy doing something like that, there are lots of other organisations where single people are not out of place - Skyros and Cortejo Romero if you like a more laid back break, or various adventure organisations.

Or if you have a particular hobby - ceroc, 5 rhythms dance, painting. walking, photography, there are lots of groups that organise holidays. Just tell is what you fancy and I bet someone will come up with a suggestion!

There's a whole world out there :-)