FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Person_one

If you're worried about the wedding then do it right now, today.

There's still a month to go before the wedding, if you make your split very public straightaway most people will have calmed down about it by then. Also, most people know how to behave and won't turn the wedding into an interrogation of the groom's sister!

People always talk about other things that are going on at weddings, while it is a magical special day for the happy couple, the guests would get really bored if that was all they could talk about.

Do you want your sister to look back at her wedding day and think that you were really unhappy and putting up a front for her sake? Would you want her to do that for you?

Brighton_belle

Person_one wrote: »

If you're worried about the wedding then do it right now, today.

There's still a month to go before the wedding, if you make your split very public straightaway most people will have calmed down about it by then.

Totally agree with Person_one. Do it asap and the most of the shock will be gone by the wedding.
Also - you may not want him in the photos...you could look at it from the POV of how will your sister feel to have them in her wedding photos and then find out about some of his behaviour to you? (I'm not someone who cares much about the excessive hoohar around wedding photos myself, but I appreciate some do)
Personally I would find a friend/family member splitting up the day after by wedding more awful because I would feel they had been suffering 'for me' unnecessarily and adding a false note to our wedding day.

If you are afraid to spoil the run up to the wedding, maintain the act you are doing now, as one of, 'I'm ok' despite our split.

MrsDrink

I agree - tell the world now (for the reasons already outlined above).

sykerjoe

havent read through all of the thread but theres always two sides to every story -you said at the start he was nasty to you four years ago calling you names and stuff which poses the question why did you marry him ? is he being nasty because you dont have sex with him ?is he struggling with money problems etc ?? -not making excuses for him but my first wife was a nightmare and made me miserable for years -i have now been happily married for ten yrs to my second wife so it can change for the better -i.m not having a go and hope you sort it out -good luck .

MrsDrink

sykerjoe wrote: »

havent read through all of the thread

Perhaps you should.

Person_one

MrsDrink wrote: »

Perhaps you should.

That should be one of the forum rules. Read it all or you're not allowed to post!

Orlando_Virgin

tayforth wrote: »

And lastly, I think that my mum does know that something is up. I hate worrying her, so I always try to put on a happy face (or voice on the phone) but I think that she suspects that something is not quite right.

Don't worry about him, and I know it's easier said than done. When you split, put yourself first. You haven't done it in so long. Everybody hates worrying their parents but think about what you would you do for your child if they needed it. I'm 100% sure you would do ANYTHING. And so would she.

When I say get through the wedding, no matter whether you take him or not, (I completely think you should do it before then) you are obviously going to find it difficult. That can't be avoided. At least if your Mum knew, when it got a bit hard you could nip outside for a minute with your Mum, or maybe at least seeing her there and knowing she knows and getting a re-assuring smile will help you enjoy that one day.

Person_one

Mum's always know.

When you tell her, it will be a huge relief for her.

Orlando_Virgin

Person_one wrote: »

Mum's always know.

When you tell her, it will be a huge relief for her.

I swear to God that Mum's have a special radar in their brains.

joolsybools

I think you should end it now. The situation you are in financially, house wise, work wise, children-wise makes it the 'easiest' possible way to go. Do you have enough money to put down a deposit on a new flat?

Tbh, I think you are using the forthcoming wedding as an excuse to procrastinate.

Good luck anyway, I know how hard it is to leave someone... xx