FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

I don't know how I feel. Shocked, really.

Person_one

tayforth wrote: »

I don't know how I feel. Shocked, really.

Maybe this is something else you could talk through with the Samaritans, it seemed to really help you before.

Napac have a helpline too, the number is on the website I linked too.

tayforth

Person_one wrote: »

Maybe this is something else you could talk through with the Samaritans, it seemed to really help you before.

Napac have a helpline too, the number is on the website I linked too.

Thank you. I will have to talk about it to someone.

paulineb_2

I think you really need to weigh up very carefully whether you want to report this or not and the possible consequences for you and your wider family and friends and Im certainly not saying this to try and prevent you from doing this.

But I think you really need to prepare yourself for the fact that bringing this out in the open may not end up with an outcome you would wish for, something happening to him.

You really do need to get some advice before reporting this to the police if thats what you want to do and I have no idea how decisions are made about whether theres enough evidence to proceed, I am assuming that it would be the CPS that would decide whether theres enough evidence to proceed with a trial.

But I think before you go down that route you have to get some kind of specialist counselling if you havent already, abuse counselling and get some advice on the legalities of it all and the process that you will go through should you make this complaint a formal one.

And I do think that speaking to people who are trained to deal with people who have survived abuse is your very first step, because hopefully there are people out there who might help you make a decision one way or another and if you decide to proceed, support you through it.

tayforth

I'm not going to make any snap decisions. I still don't want to report it, for his parents' sake more than anything.

There'd be no evidence as it was so long ago. Only my word against his. He would have to admit it, wouldn't he?

But I will speak to someone, maybe NAPAC or the Samaritans or a counsellor. Soon.

marisco_2

tayforth wrote: »

I got off the phone to my mum a while ago. Sis and BIL are home.

In passing, she mentioned that a family friend has moved and started working in the city I work in. Their new workplace is 5 minutes from my office building. This city is almost 2 hours from my hometown.

Who is this person? Why, none other than my childhood abuser.

I'm horrified. And I feel sick.

Oh no, that news must have come as an awful shock to you. I dont know what to advise about how you should handle this situation. I understand your reasons for having never told anyone about what this man did to you. However I think you have to start putting yourself and your wellbeing first now.

Just as your life was beginning to settle down, this has come up to rock the stability you were enjoying. I am so sorry tay. I know that you have huge strength and resilience and that you will overcome this however you decide to proceed.

tayforth

Thank you so much for the kind words, marisco xxx

I have to go to bed soon, my doctor's appointment is early in the morning and I slept quite badly last night.

spirit

A quick thought before I rush out of the door to work Tay. Do you have something called the Employee assistance scheme or similar? It's a service for employees and covers anything from problems with rogue builders to divorce etc etc.

I used them to get (free) counselling and also advice on other legal stuff. If you have then they should be able to help with your Will issues and your other issues.

must run

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

A quick thought before I rush out of the door to work Tay. Do you have something called the Employee assistance scheme or similar? It's a service for employees and covers anything from problems with rogue builders to divorce etc etc.

I used them to get (free) counselling and also advice on other legal stuff. If you have then they should be able to help with your Will issues and your other issues.

must run

Thank you, spirit. I'll look into it when I get back to work xxx

tayforth

Just back from the doctor (different one again). Also had to have blood tests.

She's given me more stuff for the rash. I'm laden with creams, shampoos and tablets.

I was trying to be calm but broke down again and told her about my abuser. She said that I should think about seeking a transfer to another office if he works so close to my current one, and signed me off for another 2 weeks. She said that I need a rest anyway, the rash is a sign that my immune system is very weak at the minute.