FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

lostinrates

Tay forth...been a while since I popped in here to see how you are doing....

You won't remember but I had a rashly/ sore thing going on with my face ( think its rosacea early stages) but all my normal mild creams and rescues ( honey, vit e oil) weren't curing completely and something's like Nivea cream were making it worse. When my resident parent popped to boots I asked for some avene cream ( its a great brand) and the came back with aveeno instead. Miraculously its solved the problem completely!

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

Just copied these links from another thread in case they help anyone else who's going through the same thing.

Reading about gaslighting definitely helped me to see what my ex was doing to me. I was horrified, and am still finding it hard to come to terms with it all.

Thanks to Pechow xx

I think the middle article is very well written, I struggled to understand the other two when I read them and Ive read them before.

But yes, the you're so stupid, no one will ever want you, Ive had all of that and I had a distorted perception of myself for a very long time afterwards.

tayforth

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Also have a read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Men are more likely to be narcissists, although women can also be).

http://www.hartrelationshipcounselling.com.au/free-psychology-help/are-you-living-with-a-narcissist.html

Note: the above link is provided for information. The website is an american counselling service and at the end of the article there are links for skype counselling - I have no connection with this, I've not tried it, and it is not my intention to recommend this.

One of the things to be aware of is the fact that the Narcissist often shows his true colours once he feels you are 'his' - after the wedding, for example. If you are living with a narcissist the other thing to be aware of is that the wonderful persona that he may have showed when you first got together, that made you feel like you had met your soulmate.... that was not his real self, it was him reeling you in so he could feed off your energy. He has no empathy or sympathy for you, and you will probably never know the 'real' him... he is an empty shell, who needs others to fill him and keep him filled.... you are just a source to him, and disposable when you close down and protect yourself against his need to take for himself.

People with NPD are sometimes referred to by psychologists as 'energy vampires'.... with good reason.

This sounds horribly familiar. My ex did get a lot worse after the wedding, having managed to keep up a front of niceness the whole way through our engagement.

paulineb wrote: »

I think the middle article is very well written, I struggled to understand the other two when I read them and Ive read


them before.

But yes, the you're so stupid, no one will ever want you, Ive had all of that and I had a distorted perception of myself for a very long time afterwards.

Yes, the middle article is excellent. I've saved it and will probably refer back to it again.

tayforth

rockie4 wrote: »

I am going to leave him there but I don't think he will cause any trouble, he seems to have accepted the situation now and is being very reasonable.
I will of course keep coming back to check!!!! He's been applying for jobs (he's running out of money ) and has an interview tomorrow so he does seem to have got his ar*e in gear at last.


Tayforth - low days are normal, after everything you've been through your body/mind/emotions need to re-charge, it's like grieving and will take time but hopefully you will start to feel better soon. I think another visit to the docs with that rash might be a good idea.

I'm glad that your ex seems to be accepting the situation, that's a relief.

When are you viewing the new flat? I'm excited for you, let me know how it goes

And thank you. The itching kept me awake most of the night (it hasn't eased at all), so I hope that they'll prescribe something good!

lostinrates wrote: »

Tray forth...been a while since I popped in here to see how you are doing....

You won't remember but I had a rashly/ sore thing going on with my face ( think its rosacea early stages) but all my normal mild creams and rescues ( honey, vit e oil) weren't curing completely and something's like Nivea cream were making it worse. When my resident parent popped to boots I asked for some avene cream ( its a great brand) and the came back with aveeno instead. Miraculously its solved the problem completely!

Thanks lostinrates... I do recall you mentioning the rosacea and Aveeno. Will suggest it to the doctor. I'm so glad that it worked for you xx

rockie4

I've been to view it today :j It was lovely, nice and clean, tiny but with plenty of storage. Area is perfect for me I've got until Friday to make a decision but I'm 95% certain I'll take it!

Just need to to some more calculations as the money will be tight

tayforth

Oh, I'm thrilled that you liked it!

Hope that your money will stretch enough for you to live there xxx

tayforth

Celebrating one month free today

I'm leaving my mum's house soon to go back to my own place, as my sister and BIL are due home today. I'm already feeling a bit lonely at the thought of leaving my little cocoon!

But I'll be fine. I hope. I'll be back in 2 days to tell them the truth. I can't wait to see my sis, I've missed her.

How is everyone today?

summerof0763

awh (((( hugs)))) hope your ok, its hard getting used to change, even though its right decision, but just focus on your freedom, and what you can plan ahead for, take care x

tayforth

Just arrived back at my house. It's exactly how I left it and so peaceful. I miss the company, though. I'm going to have a relaxing evening by myself, I'm only here for 2 days.

The solicitor I was due to see tomorrow phoned me to say that he quoted me £50 in error for making a will... it's actually £180!!!! He asked if I wanted to keep the appointment :eek: I told him to cancel as I couldn't possibly go ahead, I wouldn't trust him. Feel very disappointed in him.

summerof0763 wrote: »

awh (((( hugs)))) hope your ok, its hard getting used to change, even though its right decision, but just focus on your freedom, and what you can plan ahead for, take care x

Thank you, and I will keep all of your advice in mind xxx

tayforth

OMG this rash is getting worse... I am in actual pain, the itching is unbearable. Roll on tomorrow morning's appointment.