FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

lostinrates

duckeggblue wrote: »

its six months

Early days! Onwards and upwards giving no more of your self esteem to that person, huh?

tayforth

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

Tay, really lovely to read your update, you didn't believe us how good it would feel at the beginning, did you? And look at you now! That feeling of not worrying about what OH is thinking is so fantastic. I've been invited to a posh 40th in two weeks. I've bought myself a very glam dress, booked a hair appt and know that I will have a fantastic time, dancing and chatting the night away ( OH hated dancing too) without having to worry, even once, about whether he's miserable or grumpy, or in a bad mood with me! And I'll dance with my friends, and their husbands (who are remarkably protective and slightly flirtatious with a single lady!) and love every minute of it! ( And no, my 'friend' isn't going!)

:T:T:T

That sounds wonderful. Lovely that you're pampering yourself as well - you'll feel a million dollars and have an absolute ball! Can't wait to hear how it goes. Post a link to the dress, go on!!

And maybe you'll meet a new 'friend' :D:D:D

No, I didn't believe you in the beginning. I couldn't see my way out of the hole that I was in. But I definitely believe you now! :A

lostinrates wrote: »

How many years ago was it duckeggblue?


For me this is happily and safely in my past. I am lucky and content with that. I don't want to try and classify him or think about him. What's done is done, it happened and is over.

It cannot be rushed, the healing stage, but neither did I linger in it. I was very delighted to rediscover a robust sense of my attractiveness and put it well to use very quickly, but I was in my early twenties. I doubt I would bounce back so quickly now.

In any case, I wish for both of you, for everyone, to be over any wounds as quickly as possible. Scars fade a lot if you let them heal cleanly,

You see, I'm torn between (a) not thinking about him, or the relationship, at all, just a clean mental slate; and (b) analysing it all in the hope that I'll have some sort of conclusion and 'closure'.

I'm doing (a) at the minute and it's serving me very well. (b) really doesn't appeal. Like you, I don't want to dwell on him. He's not in my life any more. End of story.

I definitely don't want to analyse him (because I don't care why he is the way he is, he's not my problem any more). But perhaps I need to learn a few lessons so that I can recognise the signs more easily in future. And I also need to reflect on myself. But maybe not yet.

Oh, I don't know. At the minute, I'm looking forward, not back. I've really enjoyed the last few weekends in the bosom of my fantastic family. It's done me the world of good. I feel more confident and happier. I feel optimistic. And that's all I want for now.

mintymoneysaver

You will be able to analyse it all without the emotion eventually. I always thought that once my marriage was over I would still feel emotional about things like old photos, my rings, love letters etc. And I don't, even though we were together over 25 years, and at least 15 of them were happy! They don't make me feel anything, it's in the past, a massive part of my life, obviously, but a part tat doesn't exist anymore. When we first split up I didn't want to think about divorce. I was quite happy to just be separated, but now I've moved on, and I know that once the two years is up I want a divorce. I don't quite know how he feels about that, but it's not my problem anymore.

Here you go.....
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/350785856356?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1497.l2649

Shows off my best assets!

tayforth

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

You will be able to analyse it all without the emotion eventually. I always thought that once my marriage was over I would still feel emotional about things like old photos, my rings, love letters etc. And I don't, even though we were together over 25 years, and at least 15 of them were happy! They don't make me feel anything, it's in the past, a massive part of my life, obviously, but a part tat doesn't exist anymore. When we first split up I didn't want to think about divorce. I was quite happy to just be separated, but now I've moved on, and I know that once the two years is up I want a divorce. I don't quite know how he feels about that, but it's not my problem anymore.

Here you go.....
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/350785856356?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1497.l2649

Shows off my best assets!

Oh, it's gorgeous. I love it! :T

I don't feel any attachment to anything of 'ours' any more. I'm getting rid of my rings and wedding dress as soon as I can. I've chucked out a few bits that remind me of him or that we bought together. I left him a framed photo of the pair of us (only one in the house) to take with him, it was shoved in with all his stuff in the living room. If he doesn't want it, he can bin it.

And I'd file for divorce tomorrow morning if I could.

tayforth

marisco - you have mail.

tayforth

Must go to bed soon. I have a big day tomorrow - got to catch up on The Apprentice and go to IKEA.

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

:T:T:T

That sounds wonderful. Lovely that you're pampering yourself as well - you'll feel a million dollars and have an absolute ball! Can't wait to hear how it goes. Post a link to the dress, go on!!

And maybe you'll meet a new 'friend' :D:D:D

No, I didn't believe you in the beginning. I couldn't see my way out of the hole that I was in. But I definitely believe you now! :A





You see, I'm torn between (a) not thinking about him, or the relationship, at all, just a clean mental slate; and (b) analysing it all in the hope that I'll have some sort of conclusion and 'closure'.

I'm doing (a) at the minute and it's serving me very well. (b) really doesn't appeal. Like you, I don't want to dwell on him. He's not in my life any more. End of story.

I definitely don't want to analyse him (because I don't care why he is the way he is, he's not my problem any more). But perhaps I need to learn a few lessons so that I can recognise the signs more easily in future. And I also need to reflect on myself. But maybe not yet.

Oh, I don't know. At the minute, I'm looking forward, not back. I've really enjoyed the last few weekends in the bosom of my fantastic family. It's done me the world of good. I feel more confident and happier. I feel optimistic. And that's all I want for now.

When you are ready you might want to have a read of this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Hate-Women-Love-Them/dp/0553381415/ref=pd_sim_b_5 and Women Who Love Too Much.

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

Oh, it's gorgeous. I love it! :T

I don't feel any attachment to anything of 'ours' any more. I'm getting rid of my rings and wedding dress as soon as I can. I've chucked out a few bits that remind me of him or that we bought together. I left him a framed photo of the pair of us (only one in the house) to take with him, it was shoved in with all his stuff in the living room. If he doesn't want it, he can bin it.

And I'd file for divorce tomorrow morning if I could.

You might find it cathartic to rid yourself of his negative energies in the house.

When I sold (I say I since he wasn't really involved in the selling process as per my post above) the family house and bought my own one; I got rid of everything that was 'ours'. The bed was the first to go and the old one I burned in the garden.

Gradually everything down to the last teaspoon was replaced and it feels very liberating.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Tay...I was reading last night but from my ipad which I couldn't log on from [due to deleting cookies last week but I digress] - well done and now it's the start of the rest of your life. Enjoy!

duckeggblue

I didn't really mean about trying to analyse him ,I just meant that I am trying to analyse my own feelings.Agree analysing the exes at this point is a total waste of energy.trying to keep on the level.