FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

That seems to be a recurring theme with abusive men.

And now, has she left him, how is she? xx

Yes although I would say she is still in recovery. I'm not sure she would agree with me. Thing is I can see how I was at that stage so know what it's like - as you do now. But I suppose she needs a prop and so immediately went on the dating sites. I advised her not to do that and that she needs time on her own to mend. Unfortunately, she didn't want good, sound advice and I had a text back to say that she wanted someone and basically to mind my own business.

Prior to that i had about 20 million texts and a fair few emails from her daily saying that ex H had said this, that or the third thing and what would she do. I answered these and she thanked me saying what would she do without me yadda, yadda - until of course I give her advice she doesn't want to hear.

so anyway to answer your question, He bought her out of the house and she has bought an apartment. She has a new job and is doing ok. I daren't ask about the man front now or she won't speak to me again!

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

Yes although I would say she is still in recovery. I'm not sure she would agree with me. Thing is I can see how I was at that stage so know what it's like - as you do now. But I suppose she needs a prop and so immediately went on the dating sites. I advised her not to do that and that she needs time on her own to mend. Unfortunately, she didn't want good, sound advice and I had a text back to say that she wanted someone and basically to mind my own business.

Prior to that i had about 20 million texts and a fair few emails from her daily saying that ex H had said this, that or the third thing and what would she do. I answered these and she thanked me saying what would she do without me yadda, yadda - until of course I give her advice she doesn't want to hear.

so anyway to answer your question, He bought her out of the house and she has bought an apartment. She has a new job and is doing ok. I daren't ask about the man front now or she won't speak to me again!

Goodness. I can't imagine going on dating websites. If I do meet anyone else, it'll be through friends or work or something like that.

Oh, btw - still no word from Sam. Being realistic, it's highly unlikely ever to happen, even if he is interested - it would be too hard for him if his friends gave him a hard time.

And do I really want to take up with a friend of the ex? Probably best to just forget about him.

Kittykow

tayforth wrote: »

Goodness. I can't imagine going on dating websites. If I do meet anyone else, it'll be through friends or work or something like that.

Oh, btw - still no word from Sam. Being realistic, it's highly unlikely ever to happen, even if he is interested - it would be too hard for him if his friends gave him a hard time.

And do I really want to take up with a friend of the ex? Probably best to just forget about him.

I met my ex through a dating website... I wouldn't recommend it... Especially to anyone a bit vulnerable or without the strongest self esteem.

It seems easy online for people to pretend to be something they are not... I don't think all people do it deliberately (although some from my own experience are distinctly 'economic with the truth' :mad:) but it seems to be very easy to paint yourself somewhat differently.

... and there also seemed to be a number of men whose definition of being separated really didn't correspond to most people's. Or for that matter, their wife's....

tayforth

Kittykow wrote: »

I met my ex through a dating website... I wouldn't recommend it... Especially to anyone a bit vulnerable or without the strongest self esteem.

It seems easy online for people to pretend to be something they are not... I don't think all people do it deliberately (although some from my own experience are distinctly 'economic with the truth' :mad:) but it seems to be very easy to paint yourself somewhat differently.

... and there also seemed to be a number of men whose definition of being separated really didn't correspond to most oeople's. Or for that matter, their wife's....

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

marisco_2

You have mail tay

Alpha58

tayforth wrote: »

Goodness. I can't imagine going on dating websites. If I do meet anyone else, it'll be through friends or work or something like that.

Your personality and character have shone through like a beacon throughout this fascinating story. You won't need a dating website, you will need a sh*tty stick to beat 'em off with

marisco_2

rockie4 wrote: »

I purposefully left my watch at home so that I wasn't clock-watching, a true 'Freedom Moment'

This struck a real chord with me. I have not worn a watch in nearly seven years. Not having to clock watch whenever I go out is so liberating. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time I set a quiet alarm on my mobile to go off, giving myself ten mins notice of having to leave

Alpha58

Kittykow wrote: »

... and there also seemed to be a number of men whose definition of being separated really didn't correspond to most people's. Or for that matter, their wife's....

I'm ashamed to say that I work with quite a few men who work on the principle that "while the cat's away" (I work outside the UK for fairly long stretches) and although it's not for me to judge how others live, it sickens me. My idea of fun is a night on skype with the family and a bottle of wine (Mrs Alpha and I frequently have online toasts!)...rambling a bit but the point is that there are a lot of bast*rds out there but there are also some decent men as well. Don't tar us all with the same brush!

tayforth

Alpha58 wrote: »

Your personality and character have shone through like a beacon throughout this fascinating story. You won't need a dating website, you will need a sh*tty stick to beat 'em off with

:rotfl::rotfl:

I'm blushing!!!

marisco wrote: »

This struck a real chord with me. I have not worn a watch in nearly seven years. Not having to clock watch whenever I go out is so liberating. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time I set a quiet alarm on my mobile to go off, giving myself ten mins notice of having to leave

Liberating... freedom... another common theme!

Alpha58 wrote: »

I'm ashamed to say that I work with quite a few men who work on the principle that "while the cat's away" (I work outside the UK for fairly long stretches) and although it's not for me to judge how others live, it sickens me. My idea of fun is a night on skype with the family and a bottle of wine (Mrs Alpha and I frequently have online toasts!)...rambling a bit but the point is that there are a lot of bast*rds out there but there are also some decent men as well. Don't tar us all with the same brush!

:eek:

Awww @ your Skype toasts!

spirit

Have you heard anything from your ex re the car, your sister's wedding or anything along the lines of 'I tried to get in the house to collect xyz but the locks appear to have been changed'?