Get me over this infatuation

needed_an_expert

Bromley Mum, thanks for your post and everyone else thanks for theirs as well.

I am having a difficult week in the fact that I have enjoyed the company of my husband very much but I realise that there is little trill there which saddens me but there is a deep love so perhaps I should focus on that.,

I have spent time with the infatuation. However it is now back to ignoring and to be honest it is doing my head in. I feel a deep attraction but try and balance this out with what I know of him as a person.

Am I wrong in thinking that we are both wrong to have relationships with people but be rude with another? Maybe neither relationship will last long term.

I do not want to hurt anybody, my husband, my family especially my children but on some days I realise I do want to "to go over the side" but I acknowledge that this is wrong and therefore I have not done so,

needed_an_expert

I am sorry for the rushed reply but have to be careful which makes it worse. It is the case of a bloke treating a girl bad and the girl therefore wants him to want her.,

Joons

Haven't read all the posts just the OPs and can only say, get a grip, you sound pretty awful as does your bit on the side, I just feel sorry for your OH and the other poor sod, yes, I think u shud get away and sort yourself out, you clearly don't love your husband at all. If you want to shag about, don't be married.

System

It is the case of a bloke treating a girl bad and the girl therefore wants him to want her

Thats pretty screwed up if you ask me:(

marisco_2

Girl? How old are you?

No classy woman who values herself would want a man who treats her badly over her husband who loves her unconditionally.

NAR

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I am having a difficult week in the fact that I have enjoyed the company of my husband very much but I realise that there is little trill there which saddens me but there is a deep love so perhaps I should focus on that.,

What, you're married to a budgie? :rotfl:

Pollycat

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I am having a difficult week in the fact that I have enjoyed the company of my husband very much but I realise that there is little trill there which saddens me but there is a deep love so perhaps I should focus on that.,

Perhaps you should focus on that (actually definitely you should) but I doubt you will because you seem to be ruled by your nether regions at the moment.

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I have spent time with the infatuation. However it is now back to ignoring and to be honest it is doing my head in. I feel a deep attraction but try and balance this out with what I know of him as a person.

Have you never heard of the saying:
"Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"?

That's what he's doing to you and it appears it's working 'cos it sounds like you're gagging for it. :cool:

needed_an_expert wrote: »

Am I wrong in thinking that we are both wrong to have relationships with people but be rude with another? Maybe neither relationship will last long term.

Yes you are wrong - imho anyway.

How would you feel if your husband was 'being rude' to another women?
If your answer is that you wouldn't mind, then you should bail out of that relationship pdq.

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I do not want to hurt anybody, my husband, my family especially my children but on some days I realise I do want to "to go over the side" but I acknowledge that this is wrong and therefore I have not done so,

You might not 'want' to hurt anybody but the way you are going, you will.

If you know it's wrong, what on earth are you messing about at?
Move away from temptation - permanently.
Have you got no willpower (or sense of your own worth) at all?

System

Ive heard it called many things but not 'rude'.:D

needed_an_expert

Thanks for all your opinions. I have been ignored again but this has made me realise what a fool I have been or wanted to be! I have taken a step back and used my sensible head. I love my husband too much to lose him and value the security of my marriage highly. I am hoping the boredom I am fleeting is just a hiccup in the journey of marriage.

I have deleted all text and also his number. I am hurting because although the feeling I know is not mutual I do dream and enjoy his company. I realise too late that he has done my head in and in fact he has treated me appallingly. I take no pride in my behaviour either. I also know that his new relationship is born out of an affair and therefore that leaves a space. She is still in the same house as her husband

There is no fool like an old fool

Pollycat

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I love my husband too much to lose him and value the security of my marriage highly.

Remember this when you feel like weakening or when he gets back in touch - which he may well do.

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I am hoping the boredom I am fleeting is just a hiccup in the journey of marriage.

Work on getting rid of the boredom.
Someone on the thread suggested you & your husband start texting each other with 'rude' messages. Why not try it?

How about suggesting a 'date' where you arrange to meet up in a pub and role-play that it's your first time together?

Relationships aren't easy, you know.
Do you think other married couples don't get bored (or fed-up) at times?

needed_an_expert wrote: »

There is no fool like an old fool

At least you seem to have come to your senses.
You could easily have ended up an old fool with no husband, no financial security, kids who are appalled at a Mum who has thrown her life away for a player whose also having an affair with another woman.

Good luck in sorting this out.