Get me over this infatuation

Pollycat

The OP has been a member since April 2004 but this is only her 2nd post.

I think somebody is messing about with her account, somebody very childish and very silly and somebody who thinks posters on here are very gullible.

Ah, of course - school's out! :cool:

marisco_2

I am willing to come across as a bit gullible if it means I can get across how being cheated on leaves someone feeling. I would not wish that experience on anyone.

Pollycat

marisco wrote: »

I am willing to come across as a bit gullible if it means I can get across how being cheated on leaves someone feeling. I would not wish that experience on anyone.

The majority of people who are cheating on their partners are not interested how it would feel if the boot was on the other foot.

And that certainly goes for the OP from what she has written so far.

marisco_2

Sad but true Pollycat. I think having an affair is pointless and damaging to all involved. Thinking about it logically, what kind of relationship starts off with two people lying and being deceitful, to others and themselves? Not a type I would want to be involved in that is for sure.

Something many overlook is that if this pairing does go on to be serious and they marry, they are effectively creating a vacancy. You have to be pretty naive to not bare in mind that if a person will cheat on someone to be with you, they may well cheat on you in future. It is a character flaw within them. Just my view of course, so take it or leave it.

needed_an_expert

Thank you to all who have provided replies. I am not a troll and yes this may be a second post since 2004 but when many many moons ago I first registered with MSE I forgot my user name and registered. I have posted many a time under my usual name but naturally I did not want to under these circumstances. Trouble is that I do not know what I want, I am not a horrible person and feel terrible being keen on another man apart from my husband. I am getting mixed messages from this other guy, he blanks me for months and then starts again. I feel very guilty but it is like a drug

marisco_2

needed_an_expert wrote: »

I am getting mixed messages from this other guy, he blanks me for months and then starts again. I feel very guilty but it is like a drug

It sounds to me as if he is using you like a play thing. Nothing good can come of this. He will play with your emotions and hurt you long term.

Does your husband treat you like this or is he good to you?

krustylouise

VestanPance wrote: »

Things are that simple and straightforward. An affair isn't a mistake. It's a calculated decision. Unless you are beyond idiotic anyone who cheats does so knowing that it would hurt their partner should they find out.

There may be many reasons/excuses for cheating in the first place, but none of them do anything but introduce another problem to the equation. I think Marisco is completely correct in that those who cheat share a certain character trait, no matter if they want to admit that or not.

I totally agree with this. Given the fact I have been the "cheater" and the "cheatee" I knew (as does everybody else that chest, that is wrong. If you are unhappy in your current, main relationship to the point you have to seek things elsewhere you should end it and move on. Cheating is cowardly, as you're basically saying that you don't want them but can't be without them.

lindseykim13

Doesn't sound like you WANT to have an affair. IMO you are enjoying the thrill and attention and it could be from any man not just this one?
Sounds likesomething is lacking in your marriage you may want the thrill and excitement from your husband perhaps?
Why not tell him how you feel? Perhaps leave out the other guy part, but maybe mention you'd like some excitement and work together on it? If thats what your lacking.

Its always nice to be shown some attention in that way, its what you do with it that matters. No harm in 'thinking' things but actually 'doing' is the issue.

bluesnake

C'mon people, don't get caught by the troll.

just put in "Last summer I started a flirtatious relationship with a male who had just gone through a divorce" into google and you get the same sentence cached in 6/12/2012

Bet this came from a newspaper agony aunt coulmn

Mrs_Ryan

Infatuations are bad... trust me. But they're also incredibly addictive like drugs or drink...