Update on my DD

meritaten

Darlyd - I am so sorry to hear what happened. I hope the antipsychotic meds work for her.
What is your GP like? Supportive? because if he/she is then there would be a possibility of getting DD sectioned if she is violent again.
You really do need to take GP into your confidence and go along and tell them what happened and the outcome. and how YOU feel about it.
It isn't a failure of yourself as a parent hun - lord knows you have tried your best!
Your child is mentally ill and all these agencies are failing her - as they are failing thousands of others up and down this country.
you weren't asked about your bruises/injuries in A&E as it wasn't YOU who was booked in! you should have gone to reception and booked in yourself. but, you know that now don't you?
If she kicks off again - do the fire drill - get out, get everyone else out and call the GP who will be primed for it! call the emergency services too and tell them she is armed with a knife or whatever. let them deal with it and I can tell you the result will be different to that of a simple 'domestic'.
You may be right she is bipolar - or she may be one of many other different disorders. you are right in that ODD doesn't come on its own - its often tied to other disorders.

and for those who think 'reward good behaviour - punish or ignore bad' works in all cases................it doesn't with mental illness. it can even make matters worse, which is just what Darlyd has found.

verysillyguy06

Dear OP, I know that you have your own opinions about your dd's illness as well as what would help her but what help do you get? if you are not open to Social care, have you tried to get support via CAF done by school? That could open your daughter to Integrated services

Darlyd

Thanks again.

Last thing on my mind the other night was to be seen I just needed to be there for dd who found it quite amusing to be honest she sat there taking the !!!! put of the doctor who was assessing her before going to child ward.

When ss was involved the first time round we had a lovely Sw but she was new and young and her idea of helping was sitting on floor with a large piece of paper and us all wrote down our feelings. The second one which I asked for to have relevant experience she didn't do nothing. We had a multi meeting and ss walked out when time was up and said they signing is off. School were very shocked I just said well there we to then. Ss refered to caff and we ain't heard a squeak from them. Argh
That is why this time when they come on a couple of weeks because that's how long it took before, I just wanna say go away. Why do they insist on mooching about but don't so what's best? They been hounding a friend of mine who's dog scratched her kids fave and school rang ss, they got rid of dog and spent lots of monies (getting provident loans) on redecorating bedroom Cus kids drew on walls to keep ss happy
and they still insist on visiting them when not needed. Makes me so mad.

Darlyd

Please excuse spelling mistakes am using iPhone.

verysillyguy06

darlyd wrote: »

Thanks again.

Last thing on my mind the other night was to be seen I just needed to be there for dd who found it quite amusing to be honest she sat there taking the !!!! put of the doctor who was assessing her before going to child ward.

When ss was involved the first time round we had a lovely Sw but she was new and young and her idea of helping was sitting on floor with a large piece of paper and us all wrote down our feelings. The second one which I asked for to have relevant experience she didn't do nothing. We had a multi meeting and ss walked out when time was up and said they signing is off. School were very shocked I just said well there we to then. Ss refered to caff and we ain't heard a squeak from them. Argh
That is why this time when they come on a couple of weeks because that's how long it took before, I just wanna say go away. Why do they insist on mooching about but don't so what's best? They been hounding a friend of mine who's dog scratched her kids fave and school rang ss, they got rid of dog and spent lots of monies (getting provident loans) on redecorating bedroom Cus kids drew on walls to keep ss happy and they still insist on visiting them when not needed. Makes me so mad.

I think it is often people's thinking that Social care has got all the answers and resources and 'just' dont want to help because they are helping some immigrant or a parent who hits their child....

This is not true. Social Care would not have helped the first time as they saw a parent coping and the work was elsewhere to be done like by school to support and discuss techniques with you and together with the Psychiatrist. In an ideal world, this should have been discussed in your first meeting and a lead professional should have kept the meetings and support up.

What would you like to happen?

Do you think your when not being able to cope with people she loves and knows, like yourself/ school would cope better with strangers?

The expertise is likely to be found in Health/CAMHS than a Social Worker as they are trained to work with mental health, a social worker is not.

I am not trying to have a go but what would like to see?

Sadly, in many cases like your DD, agencies like to pass it onto Social care but they are not often the best to help but to be honest, things also do take time.

Try and dont be too despondent and cross with Social care as they need to be clearly told what you are struggling with and I would insist on another Multi-agency meeting as well as an Initial assessment.

Have you had a Carer's assessment?

If your daughter is officially diagnosed, you should be entitled to one

daska

Thinking out loud really but rather than calling SS for DD1, why not write (yes, snailmail) to Social Services stating that you believe their lack of action/involvement is causing actual harm to DD2? Cite the physical attacks (give dates etc) and DD2s reaction when DD1 attacked you. Erm... I'm sure gizmo will have a view.

You have asked your husband to photograph the bruises, haven't you? Take them to the GP so theres a record of them. Take them to the police and report the attack. I suspect you need to involve as many different authorities as possible, in writing, so that no-one can claim they were unaware.

verysillyguy06

daska wrote: »

Thinking out loud really but rather than calling SS for DD1, why not write (yes, snailmail) to Social Services stating that you believe their lack of action/involvement is causing actual harm to DD2? Cite the physical attacks (give dates etc) and DD2s reaction when DD1 attacked you. Erm... I'm sure gizmo will have a view.

You have asked your husband to photograph the bruises, haven't you? Take them to the GP so theres a record of them. Take them to the police and report the attack. I suspect you need to involve as many different authorities as possible, in writing, so that no-one can claim they were unaware.

Hmmm, yes your opinion is rather bad....dont you think they would consider this themselves if an Initial assessment is done?

verysillyguy06

Dear OP, the loans may have come from many different sources...you could
get yourself to Citizen Advice and a few you can apply to yourself I would think

Darlyd

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

Dear OP, the loans may have come from many different sources...you could
get yourself to Citizen Advice and a few you can apply to yourself I would think

We don't need a loan? A decorating and fixing things comes out of our own pocket we are lucky we can afford it.
(For now)

Not taken photographs as don't want to go ahead and press charges. She's my baby I don't want her to be arrested with a criminal record I want her kept clean like us. I am in the middle of doing my nursing and its important and am trying my best to pass it.

We just need her to stop being a b***h and take responsibility for her actions and to be a normal teen with normal moods and not a violent one who doesn't realise what she is doing and also for my 6 yr old to feel safe and sound.

My 6 year old is her own person and i am very lucky she knows right from wrong, she says sorry for the things she does wrong and is very helpful when required where as dd1 is complete opposite. Hence her diagnosis.

Ss are in my opinion a waste of tax Payers money. Spend there time with people who don't need them (as above) and less or no time with people who do.

Mojisola

darlyd wrote: »

Not taken photographs as don't want to go ahead and press charges.

You don't need to do anything with the photos except keep them in case things get worse and you need some evidence to show the history of violence.