Update on my DD

sassyblue

OP, what is your local MP like? They might just be the influence that gets something done, instead of being fobbed off with their help you could get something done.

Above all, make a right pain in the butt of yourself until someone listens.

gizmo111

sassyblue wrote: »

OP, what is your local MP like? They might just be the influence that gets something done, instead of being fobbed off with their help you could get something done.

Above all, make a right pain in the butt of yourself until someone listens.

Go through the correct channels instead of muddying the situation with an MP, who as no influence or power over social services.

verysillyguy06

darlyd wrote: »

Don't know if your remember me but the shortfall is my DD who is now 13 is a handful, she is violent towards me, DH and DD (who is 6). SS have been involved twice but just refer her to other professionals.

This past week alone she has shown aggression towards me and DH and wednesday eve she actually beat me up, bit me, punched me in my head and kicked me so hard in my stomach If I was pregnant I would of miscarried there and then (I am full of bruises) My DH had to jump on her to stop her from stabbing me, all because I went to take her phone off of her as she was telling people private things (such as calling DH a P"""k on FB as he asked her to turn music down whilst he was on phone trying to sort out sky box upstairs for her? Anyway that night I rang doc on call who called the police round and they escorted us to A & E (first time ever) and she got admitted and spoke to cahms the following day who said there is no sign of bi polar (which I swear she has) or any other mental illness but they will be referring back to SS and an emergency appointment with cahms (physciatrist (sp) who she has been under for a year and no help). So Friday we seen him and he finally prescribed an antiphyscotic (sp) at a low dose.

Now she was diagnosed with Oppositional defiant disorder when she was 6, reading up on this you will see this comes along with other disorders and only 5% grow out of it by the time they are 8, I swear she has BP2 like her elder sister (by her biological father) But the professionals say no.

As you can read she is a danger to herself and us, my 6 yr old actually wet her pants Wednesday night when she was beating me, I could not touch her, she cornered me, I am covered in bruises which A & E didn't even ask if I was OK. SS will contact me shortly but I am going to tell them this time to do one, they just wasting tax payers money as they will not take her for respite or into care they just refer her to these boring professionals (physciatrist agrees with me) she gets bored and does not concentrate and we would like to see how this med (I have always been against meds in the past) works.

I am not asking any questions, I just wanted to get this off my chest and ask for some advice if you been through similar?

Please no judgements I can't be doing with judgements I just need support...

Thanks for reading..

I am sorry to hear about your situation and I can appreciate you must feel at the end of your tether but you need to also appreciate that we only have got your opinion on it and your dd's may have quite a different one. This is a forum and can not provide the best way forward.

As Gizmo stated, dont give up on official channels and go back to Social Care and be as honest and open as you can be.

Respite or 'Short breaks' as they are now known are imho very difficult to arrange for children without disabilities and as suggested , family may be asked to help out.

sassyblue

gizmo111 wrote: »

Go through the correct channels instead of muddying the situation with an MP, who as no influence or power over social services.

MP's don't have power over lots of things but they can be useful to get Government departments to sit up and take notice.

http://www.parliament.uk/about/mps-and-lords/members/what/

It's worth a letter at least.

poet123

dktreesea wrote: »

May well be, and you are entitled to your opinion, but my advice stands, to be careful of letting SS into your life. It's not just the child going into their files; it's also the parent. You and I might be able to see that this isn't all the OP's fault.

Are the authorities helpful in general in these sort of cases? Let me ask you this. What do you think of the "help" they have provided to this family so far? Why hasn't the wee lassie in question received the support and counselling she so obviously requires? There have been plenty of them involved so far, from what the OP says. What kind of "help" are this family being given, when they place the DD with people who bore her? Surely, somewhere within our "care" system we can find people who can relate to the DD and vice versa?

Kids are rude a lot nowadays, especially teenagers. I couldn't care less what my kids write about me, if anything, online. In our house we ignore bad behaviour and praise good behaviour. It seems to have worked reasonably well so far.

Physical violence? If they were, I am prepared to defend myself. For sure, self defence is a defence. To say one can't use it to try to protect oneself against an attack by a child doesn't seem very practical to me.

That is merely storing up trouble imo. Others, (schools, employers etc) won't take that tack. By ignoring bad behaviour you are not showing boundaries or giving them a realistic example of how others will react.

gizmo111

sassyblue wrote: »

MP's don't have power over lots of things but they can be useful to get Government departments to sit up and take notice.

http://www.parliament.uk/about/mps-and-lords/members/what/

It's worth a letter at least.

Fact is there is a criteria to met before services are offered and a letter from a MP will not change this.

OP is best off contacting all agencies involved with her DD and getting plans in place through multi-agency working.

cheepskate_2

As someone else has said, We are only getting one side of this story.

As i have previously said, What has made the daughter kick off this time as she according to the op had calmed down a lot in one of her posts.

Op is also trying to deal with mental health issues herself, so not really a good environment for a child that may/may not have health issues herself.

In another post the OP stated (Quote , It's the chores, or being told what to do, or not getting her own way, or something not going her way when she freaks out..)

This could suggest that maybe the child has some health issues, but could also suggest not so consistent parental control, from what I could remember from her last posts it did seem that there may be a concern there.

From what I can also remember the OP moved from her family(daughters family) to be with her husband and there were issues with this daughter round that.

But whatever the reasons, It does not seem healthy for this child to be in this environment(nor for the younger sibling to be there also ).
and the longer it goes on the more detrimental it is to both

I just don't think it is as clear cut as is being made out to be, but a year on and there is no improvement in the household then maybe drastic action has to be taken. I find it very surprising that the OP has a Social worker involved but if this behavior is constant why they don't at least see the younger child being at risk in this environment.

DomRavioli

cheepskate wrote: »

As someone else has said, We are only getting one side of this story.

As i have previously said, What has made the daughter kick off this time as she according to the op had calmed down a lot in one of her posts.

Op is also trying to deal with mental health issues herself, so not really a good environment for a child that may/may not have health issues herself.

In another post the OP stated (Quote , It's the chores, or being told what to do, or not getting her own way, or something not going her way when she freaks out..)

This could suggest that maybe the child has some health issues, but could also suggest not so consistent parental control, from what I could remember from her last posts it did seem that there may be a concern there.

From what I can also remember the OP moved from her family(daughters family) to be with her husband and there were issues with this daughter round that.

But whatever the reasons, It does not seem healthy for this child to be in this environment(nor for the younger sibling to be there also ).
and the longer it goes on the more detrimental it is to both

I just don't think it is as clear cut as is being made out to be, but a year on and there is no improvement in the household then maybe drastic action has to be taken. I find it very surprising that the OP has a Social worker involved but if this behavior is constant why they don't at least see the younger child being at risk in this environment.

As a now 27 year old adult who went through a childhood with a severe mental health problem, I find this post DISGUSTING.

For children who have MH issues, whatever they may be, anything can set them off, from being looked at (not in a certain way, just having someone looking at you) to the slightest change in a routine, to being asked a perfectly normal question. I was never personally violent to anyone else, but to myself instead - however I am guessing that the triggers are just the same and just as real.

Social services are unlikely to get involved without intensive CAMHS intervention - it may take having the child sectioned for them to actually do something, but this depends on where you live (stupid I know!) and what services are available.

Next time you choose to post something so downright stupid, just don't. It isn't constructive, positive or decent.

Darlyd

Social services will not help they just refer her to groups which like the physiatrist have said is a waste of time as dd does not concentrate and finds it boring. He has always wanted to treat her as having ADHD but I've always been against it. But this week worst week ever I have in and now she is being treated with antiphicotic medication.

She has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder when she was 6 which is part of another one but that don't usually get diagnosed until later teen years.

No I know it's only my side but what would I have to lie about? She is also like this in school. Lots more went on on Wednesday such as telling everybody police were here. Nothing to be proud of but she doesn't see it like that.

Thanks for all those who have given their advice and opinions I really so appreciate it.

verysillyguy06

darlyd wrote: »

Social services will not help they just refer her to groups which like the physiatrist have said is a waste of time as dd does not concentrate and finds it boring. He has always wanted to treat her as having ADHD but I've always been against it. But this week worst week ever I have in and now she is being treated with antiphicotic medication.

She has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder when she was 6 which is part of another one but that don't usually get diagnosed until later teen years.

No I know it's only my side but what would I have to lie about? She is also like this in school. Lots more went on on Wednesday such as telling everybody police were here. Nothing to be proud of but she doesn't see it like that.

Thanks for all those who have given their advice and opinions I really so appreciate it.

I am not sure if the professionals are just telling you what you want to hear and do not push the point themselves with Social care. A social worker if been send a letter by your school and the Psychiatrist, he/she would have to take notice and work together with all.

Have you ever had a multiagency meeting? I sadly think the Psychiatrist is putting wool over your eyes how supportive she/he really is.

I had other supportive professionals making the case for families and this makes a huge difference