Update on my DD

gizmo111

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

Absolutely, we are all agreed that something needs to be done. But it sounds to me like when darlyd has tried to get support she is let down by social services, the police and the doctors and I was wondering if there's a way she can somehow make them take her seriously.

Yes by ringing them every time an incident happens and by ringing the social worker and informing her of the young childs distress and also telling both schools of the incidents. Make sure all agencies are aware of the severity of the situation.

dktreesea

Melonade wrote: »

Seriously? I think SS would have more to say about fighting back against a 13 year old than taking her phone off her for being rude on fb about family.

OP I have read some of your previous threads and can only hope you get the help you need soon. Good Luck

??? Even the law allows self defence, including against 13 year olds!

dktreesea

darlyd wrote: »

Yes we are in touch we been keeping each other up to date. Poor thing.

I don't know what to say now I'm lost.

Sw been involved twice and both times refer her to groups apparently there is no more they can do, I pleaded and begged to have her put into care but they won't. Cahms told me this week that they will be referring again to ss not heard nothing yet.

Like physiatrist says these groups are a waste as its like counciling someone who has diabetes with no treatment. Lets see how these antiphicotic medication works.

I dread the day she moves on her own even worse when she has her own kids. :-(.

Do you have anything at all positive to say about your DD? Whatever happened to the "ignore bad behaviour, praise good behaviour" parenting style?

Be careful of the SS. If they take her side over yours they are within their rights to remove both of your children, not just the older DD.

Dunroamin

dktreesea wrote: »

??? Even the law allows self defence, including against 13 year olds!

On the word of a manipuative teenager that would pretty quickly become an accusation of child abuse.

gizmo111

dktreesea wrote: »

Do you have anything at all positive to say about your DD? Whatever happened to the "ignore bad behaviour, praise good behaviour" parenting style?

Be careful of the SS. If they take her side over yours they are within their rights to remove both of your children, not just the older DD.

On what grounds would they remove the younger child?
This is plain scaremongering - social services have no rights to remove any child without parental agreement without a court order.

dktreesea

*max* wrote: »

I'm shocked that the police just let this go! It was very clearly a serious assault. What would happen if OP were to press charges? Not saying she should, I'm just curious to know what the consequences would be.

I think it's high time something is done, if only for the younger daughter's sake. Her safety and mental health are at serious risk living with someone with such potential for violence! Poor mite.

If charges were pressed it would probably ruin the 13 year old's life. I realise she's not the best behaved kid, but in a way I am not surprised the police backed off. They may have thought the OP did nothing to take reasonable actions to defend herself.

Dunroamin

dktreesea wrote: »

Do you have anything at all positive to say about your DD? Whatever happened to the "ignore bad behaviour, praise good behaviour" parenting style?

Be careful of the SS. If they take her side over yours they are within their rights to remove both of your children, not just the older DD.

What a terrible thing to say to someone who's already at her wit's end. You ought to be ashamed!

dktreesea

gizmo111 wrote: »

On what grounds would they remove the younger child?
This is plain scaremongering - social services have no rights to remove any child without parental agreement without a court order.

I've had some experience of SS, with a couple of family friends. They are a law unto themselves, and very firmly on the side of the children. They are not at all neutral and not always helpful. Maybe it is because of Baby P. Times have changed.

From what I saw, their starting point was possible abuse of the child by the parent(s). Never mind that in one case it was the parent presenting herself with injuries at the A&E, not the physically stronger son.

OP, do you have any other alternatives within your family? Is there a family member your DD could stay with for a while?

shegirl

Dunroamin wrote: »

What a terrible thing to say to someone who's already at her wit's end. You ought to be ashamed!

I think all that posters posts need to be ignored!One minute they're saying to fight back (bloody stupid idea) next they're blaming the op!

To the OP,I can't offer much advice upon that which has already been given,but I do understand how much it hurts for your own child to hurt you (different circumstances but ds-13,14 next month-is severely autistic with severe learning dis and challenging behaviour,he has knocked ten bells out of me on more than one occasion).I know you probably feel ashamed that it happens too.

All else I can say is what do you do when it happens?How do you try to stop/calm her and protect yourself?While you are waiting for help you need to manage it as best as possible

gizmo111

dktreesea wrote: »

I've had some experience of SS, with a couple of family friends. They are a law unto themselves, and very firmly on the side of the children. They are not at all neutral and not always helpful. Maybe it is because of Baby P. Times have changed.

From what I saw, their starting point was possible abuse of the child by the parent(s). Never mind that in one case it was the parent presenting herself with injuries at the A&E, not the physically stronger son.

OP, do you have any other alternatives within your family? Is there a family member your DD could stay with for a while?

I';ve got quite a bit of experience with social services having been a front line child protection social worker for more years than I care to remember, before during and after Baby P.

Of course we are on the childs side - thats the whole point to keep them safe - the 6 yr old in this family is not safe because of the older child.