Surname?!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Its difficult to explain in a way that would be read right on an internet forum lol the easiest way to explain it is because its what we want. Its important to us, it might not seem important to others but that's life.

What chuckles me is that whilst people want OH to change his name instead - ok might seem simpler - but, why is his name any less than mine? In the long run someone will be 'losing' a name I don't mind it being me.

balletshoes

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Its difficult to explain in a way that would be read right on an internet forum lol the easiest way to explain it is because its what we want. Its important to us, it might not seem important to others but that's life.

What chuckles me is that whilst people want OH to change his name instead - ok might seem simpler - but, why is his name any less than mine? In the long run someone will be 'losing' a name I don't mind it being me.

thats fine mimi - but as the whole point of this, presumably, is that you all have the same surname, and your DD can't have your OH's surname, there seems little point in pursuing it, if your OH doesn't want to (for whatever reason, its up to him) take your surname.

moneysaymoneydo

Completely up to you what you call yourself or your child. ie you would not need the deadbeats fathers permission whatever you call your daughter although i would not be changing because your OH wants you to take his name, i would though do it to distance her from the donor father, he wants nothing to do with her but objects to name change sorry but i would change it, maybe not to OHs name though!

balletshoes

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Completely up to you what you call yourself or your child. ie you would not need the deadbeats fathers permission whatever you call your daughter although i would not be changing because your OH wants you to take his name, i would though do it to distance her from the donor father, he wants nothing to do with her but objects to name change sorry but i would change it, maybe not to OHs name though!

The OP's DDs both have her surname, not their fathers surnames.

moneysaymoneydo

Ah right misunderstood that part!

Still confused on how she would need sperm donor father no1's permission to change DD1's name though? maybe by deed poll but she could change to anything she wanted!

I see why now the bombardment on new partner changing his name although wondering why if DD2 his why never got his surname from birth? ok maybe wrong again but i would agree with majority now why 3 change name when he could change his!

Either that meet half way pick a surname from yellow pages and all change name to that, simples!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I love the yellow pages bit - maybe we should! :-)

OH initially wanted DD2 to have his name. I was a mare and refused because I wanted her to have same as me.

DD2 needs ex's permission for name change by deed poll. Also needs his input into school, religion etc (darent tell him she's not going to a CofE school yet.......)

Anyway - i think its bugging me and im probably dragging my heels because ex can (and has) stopped this but doesn't have involvement. If he was around I could understand, but when he openly doesn't accept her into his new family, why prevent her from doing something?

Oh well - thanks for replies

claire16c

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Its difficult to explain in a way that would be read right on an internet forum lol the easiest way to explain it is because its what we want. Its important to us, it might not seem important to others but that's life.

What chuckles me is that whilst people want OH to change his name instead - ok might seem simpler - but, why is his name any less than mine? In the long run someone will be 'losing' a name I don't mind it being me.

It's so important & you want it so much that neither of you thought or are acting upon the simple solution of your boyfriend changing his name?

It's not that it seems simpler - it is simpler! I'd suggest you changed your name if it was you having a different name to your OH and he had the kids not you. It's the logical thing to do.

Mojisola

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

What chuckles me is that whilst people want OH to change his name instead - ok might seem simpler - but, why is his name any less than mine? In the long run someone will be 'losing' a name I don't mind it being me.

His name isn't less than yours but I thought the issue was that you all wanted to have the same surname?

If so, and your daughter's father refuses to let her name be changed, it seems an obvious answer for your OH to change then you would all have the same surname.

peachyprice

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

What chuckles me is that whilst people want OH to change his name instead - ok might seem simpler - but, why is his name any less than mine? In the long run someone will be 'losing' a name I don't mind it being me.

Why is your name any less than his that he can't change to it?

And it isn't about either of you 'losing' a name, it's the path of least resistance, but strangely you seem willing to overlook that and choose the path that means changing the name of three people instead of one and causing friction with your ex.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Because - again - I don't want OH to change his name. Again, if we had decided to get married I would have taken his name, DD2 could have had her name changed simply. The only obstacle is my ex and DD1s name and as someone kindly pointed out - I can do something about it through the court if I wanted to. Which was what my original OP was asked. Is it possible to do something - and I now know the answer is yes. The rest of this thread is going in circles between OH should change his name and me repeating myself lol

Peachyprice - that was my point. Neither name is any better than the other. Some are saying he should change his and that I shouldbt have to change mine because I'm female. I was poking at that - he shouldnt have to change his because my ex, who has no real interest other than to be a pain, says so.