Surname?!

claire16c

I still don't understand why your OH doesn't just change his surname to yours? I haven't seen a reason why not?

Although I don't get the point of changing your name if you're not marrying someone.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

Yikes, its like feminism never happened!

That post horrified me. Like something out of the Victorian era.

Person_one

claire16c wrote: »

Although I don't get the point of changing your name if you're not marrying someone.

I don't get the point of changing your name just because you are, neither do the vast majority of men!

OP, are you aware of the implications of not getting married if you separate, if one of you is seriously ill or if one of you were even to die?

If I were you (and I'm not, so feel free to ignore me) I would be far more interested in getting married for all the security and peace of mind it offers and surnames would be nowhere near the front of my mind. Getting married in no way requires a wedding, its just a very significant legal contract, really.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

I don't get the point of changing your name just because you are, neither do the vast majority of men!

OP, are you aware of the implications of not getting married if you separate, if one of you is seriously ill or if one of you were even to die?

If I were you (and I'm not, so feel free to ignore me) I would be far more interested in getting married for all the security and peace of mind it offers and surnames would be nowhere near the front of my mind. Getting married in no way requires a wedding, its just a very significant legal contract, really.

Ha ha thats very true.

I don't think you should be 'expected' to change your name if you are marrying, but I find it pointless if you're not! It's almost like you are pretending.

lika_86

Interesting post as I read this only yesterday:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/07/women-stop-changing-your-name-when-married

fawd1

quinechinoise wrote: »

Well, tbh, perhaps it's not really something to stress over.

You know, those little girls are probably going to grow up and get married and adopt their husbands' surnames...? It's not like either dad is going to "pass on" his surname to his heir. Neither of them will "own" her surname forever... Perhaps neither of them really want to think about that. Dads can be funny about daughters! In the long run, it won't matter what surname she has as a child.

I'm sorry but this is genuinely one of the most backward posts I've read in a long time. I am a married woman and I will own my surname forever. It is my name, and neither getting married, nor having children will rob me of it. I am just as much a mother, and a wife, by keeping my own name. In fact maybe more. Because I would hate to think that if I ever had a daughter she would grow up believing that she is who she is only until a man decides she is worth marrying. Who is she after that exactly? Just an extension of the man and his family? Please.

Person_one

lika_86 wrote: »

Interesting post as I read this only yesterday:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/07/women-stop-changing-your-name-when-married

I think she's been reading my posts! :rotfl:

claire16c

I read that article too as my sister is getting married & not changing her name & she sent it to me.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I was brought up that marriage wasn't an important thing. I know the names doesn't mean we are any more or less of a family, of course it doesn't, It's something that was mentioned and its something we want to do. Whether or not anyone else agrees with us is irrelevant.(Except ex, if he would agree that would be brill lol)

I dont want to just start randomly calling my children by another surname though, as others have pointed out, in the long run it can be an issue. OH hasn't said he would/wouldn't change his name - all the conversations we have had has been me and the girls changing our name. I personally, don't want OH to change his name (as others have pointed out, if we were to get married then usually, he wouldnt change his name anyway, so whats the difference?)

Thanks lovecake - I knew i could challenge his decision for certain things but i didn't think her name was one of them

Person_one

I'm sorry, but I don't understand your position at all here.

Why not at least talk about the possibility of him changing his name, rather than going down the court route and starting all kinds of hassle?

However you were brought up, marriage is definitely a significant and useful thing, you might want to look into it. Nothing needs to change day to day just because you're married, not even your name, but it can be very handy when things go wrong.