Surname?!

FBaby

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

- OH wants us ALL to have his.

No offense but that's not for him to decide.... it's not like your DD1 has her dad's name, she has yours as her sister, so I can't see how it is a problem for her feeling excluded.

I personally think it is really cheeky for your partner to expect the three of you to change their names to his, especially as you are not married.

cte1111

Does your ex have parental responsibility for your daughter?

LannieDuck

I agree with the others. All three of you have one surname at the moment, and if as a family you all want to have the same surname, it makes sense for your OH to change his.

It's the 21st century... there won't be earthquakes or thunder and lightning if a man changes his surname!

RAS

"This means that where the parents are or have been married, neither can change the child’s name without the consent of the other parent. If the parents have not been married, the mother can change the child’s name without the father’s consent unless he has acquired parental responsibility through agreement or by a court order."

If the child was registered with the father's name on the birth certificate he has parental responsibility (think this is since 2003 but may be wrong). Prior to that he did not have automatic PR.

FBaby

It is since Dec 2003.

Person_one

quinechinoise wrote: »

Well, tbh, perhaps it's not really something to stress over.

You know, those little girls are probably going to grow up and get married and adopt their husbands' surnames...? It's not like either dad is going to "pass on" his surname to his heir. Neither of them will "own" her surname forever... Perhaps neither of them really want to think about that. Dads can be funny about daughters! In the long run, it won't matter what surname she has as a child.

Yikes, its like feminism never happened!

maman

I've just re-read original post and I'm confused.:o

You said that both DDs have your name. Is your name the same as ex's? or is it your own 'maiden' name?

If you never married your ex and she's never been called by his name then I'm not sure if he can object to a change.

Are you also saying that your baby DD2 doesn't have her father's name either?

Please tell me where I'm going wrong in all this.:)

ETA: Just read the bit about PR so maybe he can legally object.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I knew i wouldn’t be able to do brief lol

No, I wasn’t married to ex. I don’t want to marry OH (nothing against him!) It’s just not something I want to do. I have no issues with changing my name by deed poll.

OH doesn’t mind us not getting married. Not something he was ever interested in either.

OH hasn’t decided we need to change our names – It was a mutual decision and it stems from a conversation we was having with DD1 when I was pregnant with DD2.

If me and DD2 change our names, of course DD1 would be excluded. She would be the only remaining person to have that surname – which is why I haven’t changed surnames.

Yes ex has PR – so he does need to agree to this otherwise it can’t be done.

Zepsgal – thanks for the link, I know we can just start using OH’s name but as others mentioned, it’s a pain when being recognised for things when you have 2 names (Official name and unofficial name)

Mijisola – whether it looks like ownership to you or not is not really relevant. This is something we (ALL) want, and the only thing stopping it is the agreement from Ex. Wasn’t sure whether there was anything that can be done – for example, I think if he was to refuse adoption then the courts can intervene (I may be wrong on this! Briefly remember reading it somewhere)

Person_one

So why can't he take yours? I don't really understand...

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

maman wrote: »

I've just re-read original post and I'm confused.:o

You said that both DDs have your name. Is your name the same as ex's? or is it your own 'maiden' name?

If you never married your ex and she's never been called by his name then I'm not sure if he can object to a change.

Are you also saying that your baby DD2 doesn't have her father's name either?

Please tell me where I'm going wrong in all this.:)

ETA: Just read the bit about PR so maybe he can legally object.

Sorry for the confusion!

Both girls have my name - I've never been, never want, to get married so yes, it's my "maiden" name

DD2 doesnt have her fathers surname because i wanted me, and kids, to have same one.

Ex can object because he has PR. I could understand if DD1 had ex's name - but she hasnt lol