Surname?!

FatVonD

I guessed that from the amount not being a round figure but at least he's not hiding income, he's contributing more to your family that your current partner. And by family I mean *your* family, you and your daughters are the family unit so, if anything, your partner should be adopting your name.

I get that some people don't necessarily believe in marriage but those people don't generally want to call themselves by someone else's name to *look* like they are married.

What has happened to you? You were strong enough to insist that both daughters took your name at the time you registered their births so why are you prepared to go along with changing them now? You're changing it because your partner is in your DD1's life at the moment but he's only in it as he's in a relationship with you, what if you split up, will you then change it to the name of your next boyfriend? Will your daughter have to go through her life explaining to people that the bears the surname of someone her mother once dated?

GobbledyGook

I think you might struggle to get a court to agree that it would be in your daughter's best interests to change her name. You can apply, but friends of mine were refused because they'd only been married a short time, he wasn't adopting her and her father objected.

They won't look at what you or your OH want, they'll look at what's best and they will probably ask the same question as people on here I'd have thought about why your OH doesn't change his instead.

CH27

Mimi I don't think your daughter is old enough to have an opinion on this.

IMO this is to do with you & your OH not what is best for the children.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

FatVonD wrote: »

I guessed that from the amount not being a round figure but at least he's not hiding income, he's contributing more to your family that your current partner.

This word exactly. Guessed. In actual fact I (Stupidly) told him I was taking him to the CSA when he kicked off and he stopped all his over time (Which is accounted for by the CSA) – According the CSA files he earns £21k – In actual fact he earns in excess of £30k and my current OH’s contribution was what I asked for. In addition to that he also pays for any extra activities that the children want – such as swimming lessons, horse riding lessons, baby yoga, nursery trips out ..... your making assumptions and remarks about something you have no idea about in an attempt to back up your claim.


There was discussion about adoption for DD1 (It’s mentioned somewhere in this thread) but Ex veto’d it also. Whether people agree or disagree with us is irrelevant, everyone is intitled to their opinion - as are we. So given that there’s really no point in going round in circles.

trevorsminted

I am impressed you named DD2 your Surname as opposed to her fathers good on you and you must have done so for a reason, they are both your children with your surname, is it really important to change their Names? I would be more concerned in getting rid of the deadbeat/weight of a loser father (dd1's), he may pay for the child but i still would be excluding him from ANYTHING to do with her life.

And you could write to school if you so wished, DR's etc with a new name for your family and call them whatever you so wish, he cant stop you doing that. Deedpoll a different matter but i personally would change DD'1s just to pi** off the loser donor of a father. !!! Yes yes i know childish fattyvond :rotfl:

trevorsminted

Oh and fatvond - OP is correct you are commenting on matters not relevant to the story, it is irrelevent how much they get from fatherno1 and to compare what both her ex and partner contribute is extremely insensitive, however much they physically take from father1 will not be enough for the poor child not having him there personally!

FatVonD

trevorsminted wrote: »

Oh and fatvond - OP is correct you are commenting on matters not relevant to the story, it is irrelevent how much they get from fatherno1 and to compare what both her ex and partner contribute is extremely insensitive, however much they physically take from father1 will not be enough for the poor child not having him there personally!

You are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine.

FatVonD

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

In actual fact he earns in excess of £30k and my current OH’s contribution was what I asked for.


That figure would be about right for a £30k+ salary then, take home pay on £30k is in the region of £1900, 15% of that would be £285. Assuming he gets some kind of decrease in percentage for having other children it looks like he is paying the right amount.

trevorsminted

Yes ok fattyvon we get the picture!

Your ex sounds like some man OP to stop overtime to pay for his child less money, never ceases to amaze me the lengths the deadbeat losers will go to, and soon his next batch will receive the same treatment no doubt!

Ok OP take your pick
Smith, Johnson, Williams, Jones, and Brown !!

Most common names

GobbledyGook

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

There was discussion about adoption for DD1 (It’s mentioned somewhere in this thread) but Ex veto’d it also. Whether people agree or disagree with us is irrelevant, everyone is intitled to their opinion - as are we. So given that there’s really no point in going round in circles.

Have you thought about getting PR for your OH? It would be easier if you were married, but I'm not sure that not being would preclude it.

It doesn't remove PR from either you or her biological father, it just gives your OH a say as well.

In your shoes that's something I'd investigate because as your boyfriend/partner if anything, sorry to be morbid, happened to you then he'd be in a weak position regarding your daughter in the future.

You ex could/probably would veto it, but the courts look at the child's best interest so it could be granted even if he disagreed.