How do you "want" a second child?

suejb2

O.P I have an interesting question to pose.What if you had a multiple birth? How would you divvie your love to twins or triplets working on your theory.

mumps

anibell wrote: »

Baby no 2 is due in 2 days - 10 days before my son's 14th birthday!

I always wanted another one but I was a single parent until I met my husband a couple of years ago, so I accepted that my son may be an only child. There will be a big age gap between them and I am prepared that the sibling relationship will be different. However DS1 has shown great enthusiasm about having a little brother and wants to help out as much as possible. I think him having a little brother at his age might also be a great contraceptive :rotfl:

I understand what the OP means about having to share attention between 2 or more children (as DS1 and myself have a close bond) however being the oldest of 6 it was always fun playing/fighting with my siblings and we have remained a fairly close family.

OH and I have talked about possibly having another one but if it doesn't happen we will still be happy. Anyway I haven't had this one yet so reserving judgement until after the birth :rotfl:

My DS1 and DS2 were teenagers when I had number 3. I was told it was the best way to get chatting to girls, apparently "would you like to come home and see the new baby" is much more effective than "would you like to see my etchings."

Teenage boys are great with babies (I had number 4 a couple of years later) not just my own but their friends were great as well. Congratulations.

hulltiger1969

I also thought that way, now I have one 12 year old who ALWAYS wants my attention and his friends constantly at our house so he is not on his own and bored, Have another lol

Mrs_Imp

I think that you can often tell what siblings a child has (not in a negative way). I have brothers and often found myself better able to relate to boys (still do at times) and I could tell that Mr Imp only had sisters not long after I met him.

There's nothing wrong with having an only, and there's nothing wrong with having more. If a child is brought up properly then the number of siblings they have won't affect how nice they are.

Cinders:

I have 5 beautiful children, and the decision to have a large family was purely because of how I felt throughout my childhood. I am an only child and was so lonely growing up, and really loved going to friends houses who had siblings as their houses seemed more fun and full of life. I didnt want my children to experience the same childhood as me, so dh and i created what we saw as our perfect family. My children get on really well and I really hope they stay as close when they grow up as they are now.

That being said though, one of my close friends is an only child and absolutely loved her childhood.

There is no right or wrong answer to how many children you should have, there are advantages and disadvantages to whatever number you decide on. You just have to do what's right for you.

One more point before I shut up for the evening, and I'm sure I'll get burned by some people for this comment, but I've never heard anyone saying that they regret having a child or another child, but I have heard many people say that they regret not having children, or not having another child.

Person_one

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

I think that you can often tell what siblings a child has (not in a negative way). I have brothers and often found myself better able to relate to boys (still do at times) and I could tell that Mr Imp only had sisters not long after I met him.

My mum told me when I was a teenager to only go out with men who had sisters! :rotfl:

lostinrates

Cinders: wrote: »

.

One more point before I shut up for the evening, and I'm sure I'll get burned by some people for this comment, but I've never heard anyone saying that they regret having a child or another child, but I have heard many people say that they regret not having children, or not having another child.

But that's possibly because admitting you wish you hadn't had children is a bit taboo.

quinechinoise

pinkshoes wrote: »

I wasn't after criticism, I was just after peoples thoughts on why they chose to have a second or subsequent children. i.e. if what you have already is "perfect", then why change?

We had a second child because we both have siblings and feel that it's better to have at least one sibling than to be an only child. Our kids are close in age and great playmates.

I suppose we might have felt differently if we were only children. Maybe people are just more drawn to what they're familiar with?

Cinders:

lostinrates wrote: »

But that's possibly because admitting you wish you hadn't had children is a bit taboo.

Maybe, but surely that has to be an extremely rare circumstance. If you regret having children, then surely your behaviour towards and around them would be able to be picked up upon?

lostinrates

Cinders: wrote: »

Maybe, but surely that has to be an extremely rare circumstance. If you regret having children, then surely your behaviour towards and around them would be able to be picked up upon?

I don't think it's that rare.

There is a thread on the front page of this board where to being discussed, but I think only one brave person said it. In the past I remember a thread where more said it.

In real life a few people have admitted it to me.

There is another telling thread on a different subject ( about love for a child being special) and many of the replies there are relevant here too.

I think w like to think its rare, rather than it being so.