How do you "want" a second child?

pinkshoes

aileth wrote: »

My parents were fairly late having me - in those days anyway (My mum was 39 almost 40 when she had me) and then had my sister two years later. They said that because they felt they were quite late having me that they wanted me to have a sibling just in case anything happened and we'd be able to support each other.

I think that's such a lovely reason to have another child!

We'd like DS to have a sibling, but are currently enjoying DS's company so much that we don't want to spoil that by having another.

I wasn't after criticism, I was just after peoples thoughts on why they chose to have a second or subsequent children. i.e. if what you have already is "perfect", then why change?

mucklebones

It might be perfect to you, possibly a sibling might be more entertaining to your son than just having his Mum in his face all day.

mcja

I have got 2 little toads and love them both lots and lots. The youngest didnt get as much 1:2:1 time with me as her brother who was 2.5 when i had dd, but she has a brother she [STRIKE]fights[/STRIKE] plays with all the time.

I just knew I wanted 2 kids but have friends with 1,2,3 and 4 kids and they didnt feel their family was complete until they had the last child.

LannieDuck

We have a 17mo and are trying for a second. We think our daughter will love being an older sister and having a real-life dolly to help mummy with, and when she's a bit older she'll have someone to play with.

We were always planning on having two, and think it'll be good to have them close together in age. But I do agree that it's hard to imagine how you could ever love the second as much as you love the first. I'm sure we will tho

suejb2

O.P are you an only child and as such got all the attention? By your (ill conceived)logic as I'm the youngest of 5 I only received 20% of my mum and dad maybe you agree with China's one child policy .....you may have guessed this post has angered me.

Bennifred

When I was expecting DS2 I worried myself silly - how could I possibly love another as much as I already loved DS1?! I think a lot of second time parents feel that way. Of course, once they are here you realise that your love isn't divided between them - it multiplies! And the pleasure you get from number two (and three, etc etc) isn't exactly the same as with number one - there is the joy of seeing the interactions between the siblings to add to the mix - wonderful!

Spendless

You just 'know' (get a feeling, I suppose) that your family isn't completed. In the same way you 'know' that you that you want a child in the first place.

You don't have to share your time 50% to each child, some things will involve both/all children or the whole family. You don't share you love- I know you haven't asked that but it is something that comes up regularly, as it doesn't divide it multiplies.

Depending on your age gap your eldest may be in a school a few years before youngest is due to go, so you will get a few years with 1 at home druing term-time. Mine both got 3 years each with me at home with them, son because dd was born when he was 3 and daughter because her brother went into reception when she was 18 months old and it was a further 3 years before she went.

pigpen

Bennifred wrote: »

And the pleasure you get from number two (and three, etc etc) isn't exactly the same as with number one - there is the joy of seeing the interactions between the siblings to add to the mix - wonderful!

I'd disagree. I get the same pleasure seeing those first steps and hearing those first words every single time. My youngest calls OH Darden instead of daddy.. (like garden) and I just love it.. they are all amazing in different ways.

This weeks joy was simple.. my 2.5 y/o (number 9) decided it was safe to poo on the potty.. after 5 months of being dry in the day!

newgirly

I agree with pigpen, I have always told my 3 that you heart grows every time you have a baby so they are all loved the same

aileth

I'd like to know, like my parents, that after I was gone my daughter/son wasn't all alone in the world without us and that they had a sibling to lean on. I think that would really be my only incentive. I don't have kids yet so I'm not really one to talk. Well, that would be only incentive unless first one was a right little !!!!!! and I wanted to try again for better (So cruel)