furious with school

Blackpool_Saver

The problem is that for the last few decades discipline has become a dirty word, now in an attempt to halt the ever increasing violence and bullying/lack of empathy in society, the powers that be are trying desperately to change things by making some people an example. There needs to be a fundamental change and it starts in the home, children must be children and follow rules, and adults must lead by example. Children are given all the rights and no responsibilities, which leads them to think they can bully and hit their way to what they want.

Blackpool_Saver: Survivor of domestic violence and former volunteer for women's aid. I know what I am talking about.

System

I could swear in bullying threads on here before plenty of people have advocated getting physical to stop the bully...but in this thread it seems to have gone the other way. Strange.

That aside, as much as i can understand how your daughter must have felt (having been buillied too when younger and it leading to MH problems-and wishing i'd punched the !!!!! who made my life hell) two wrongs don;t make a right. But i do think the school needs to concentrate on the bullying as much as they have on the girl lashing out. Its a shame schools are still so terrible at sorting out bullying, especially the verbal kind. I remember being hauled into the head of years office with my bullies, and we'd go through the charade of them apologising and as soon as we left the office it would start all over again. i stopped reporting it in the end.

Treevo

th3duckst3r wrote: »

ive said i didnt condone her lashing out.but prior to that my daughter did nothing wrong.
but the other girl was adamant she was going to cause problems.

we as adults,im assuming we all are.know better.children dont.
they have no idea of the words that are said or what harm they can do.
if you knew my daughter,you could see were i was coming from that its not like her to react that way.
sometimes trying to say to some one stop calling me names dosent work.the other person then knows they are getting to you and just keep going as they dont know when to stop.then you get ive had enough and hit out.the other person should get this and leave the other person alone end of.
im just not happy that the school made no contact with myself,i dont care what sort of officer came in, i should have been notified.

the incident should just go away, both children should be told that there behavior is not acceptable.

That post has given me a headache.

DollyDabbler

It could be that the police office has come in to speak to all of those concerned. In my area they come in regularly as part of Restorative Justice work, this work stops things from spreading out into wider circles of friends and causing more problems.

th3duckst3r

my only issue is with school not notifying myself.nor giving my daughter an opportunity to ask for either parent to be there.
i know they have some sort of community officers whom attend schools pointing out things of this nature are not acceptable.

but it goes on all over the world.bullies need to be stopped.its a thing i hate the most.i have been subject to this myself,but im over 40 and knew how to deal with it children dont.

ive said its not like my daughter to lash out(its the first time its happened).she`s very helpful has a glowing school report.always the first to help out.im not just saying it because she`s my daughter,she`s great mannerism`s and very well liked.its her nature.

some answers on here are saying/or trying to point my way that im a bad parent.IM NOT!.im a very laid back well liked person i also would help out with anyone.which i do on regular occasions.

yes i protect my daughter at all costs,what father wouldn`t.

yes i wished she would have spoke out and said someone was saying things to her.but i think she wanted to ignore it and that the other girl would give up and go away.but bullies dont.

im not saying the other girl is a bully per say.but obviously her parents are not educating her.

Poppy9

The police officer had to speak to the child in the presence of an appropriate adult. A teacher from the school can be classed as an appropriate adult.

If an officer arrested a child, they do not need to inform the parents prior to the arrest and again can only interview the child in the presence of an appropriate adult. If the parents cannot be contacted or are unwilling to attend then the police can get another appropriate adult i.e. social worker.

A PCSO has no more rights than a civilian. You do not have to give your details to a PCSO if they ask you for them. You only have to give your details to a Police Officer.

OP you said a senior pupil reported the assault, not the victim. They obviously didn't feel it was a minor squabble between pupils which they probably witness daily.

You only have your word for it that this other girl has been name calling because she has a boyfriend.

You need to fully establish the facts before kicking off. You should be pleased the school are pro active in dealing with pupil violence. Hopefully your DD has now realised her behaviour was not acceptable and will not be tolerated by the school. If your DD is being bullied then as she has seen the school taking strong action she should feel confident in reporting it without fear of reprecussion.

Poppy9

th3duckst3r wrote: »

im not saying the other girl is a bully per say.but obviously her parents are not educating her.

I'm sure the parents of the girl your DD hit are saying the very same thing!

thegirlintheattic

Shouldn't have lashed out - I'm forever telling the kids I teach that it's not acceptable and once they get into the big wide world, that slap on a night out can have serious consequences.

Likely to be a police liaison to the school, can talk to students without parents permission (although most schools have a form obtaining consent under the banner 'Youth Services'). It does not at all sound like your daughter was being questioned - which would require an appropriated adult. Just being told that being violent has consequences.

Beckyy

Request a meeting with your daughters teacher. Both go in and discuss what's happened so you can hear both sides of the story and come to some arrangement with what will happen in the future. Hearing dribs and drabs from ex and daughter will just confuse everyone.

Northern_Princess

[QUOTE=th3duckst3r;59801501]well she`s just slapped her thats it.

but the name calling should not have happened in the first place.alot of people take name calling rather badly and it can affect more that a slap across the face.
we have all seen what happens when a child takes this badly.
guess that whats been written in papers goes unnoticed where kids have taken there own lives because of name calling bullies.
she should have notified school.but sometimes once the bully has been spoken to they go further.
me personally would rather it forgot about.
but as ive stated im more mad about the school not contacting me over her being questioned.
and thats where im looking for answers to.[/QUOTE]

No your daughter did NOT just slap the other girl she ASSAULTED someone. If my daughter had been slapped across the face damn right I'd have called the police and pressed charges if possible.

As others have said you should ask for a meeting with the school.