furious with school

th3duckst3r

well she`s just slapped her thats it.

but the name calling should not have happened in the first place.alot of people take name calling rather badly and it can affect more that a slap across the face.
we have all seen what happens when a child takes this badly.
guess that whats been written in papers goes unnoticed where kids have taken there own lives because of name calling bullies.
she should have notified school.but sometimes once the bully has been spoken to they go further.
me personally would rather it forgot about.
but as ive stated im more mad about the school not contacting me over her being questioned.
and thats where im looking for answers to.

Treevo

You say your daughter did nothing wrong - she hit another person. Whatever the reasons (and there's always a convenient excuse that the parents are only too eager to believe) she hit another person.

City_Girl_2

I work in a secondary school and we have an allocated Police Officer who comes into our school on a weekly basis to speak with students who have been fighting etc the PC we have covers 3 schools in the borough and other PC's other schools. This is not because our school is particularly bad, it's not but that doesn't stop incidents and issues. We don't inform parents when the Officer speaks to the students it's just an informal chat where the PC tells the student the law and what would happen had he/she not been a school child etc. There is always the PC, student and a member of staff present and we feel, as a school, that this does work with most students, but sadly not all!

marisco_2

Did your daughter slap this other child across the face?

FBaby

th3duckst3r wrote: »

well she`s just slapped her thats it.
.

Sorry but that is not the attitude to have. Slapping someone, especially if hard is not 'that's it'. It's a serious reaction. If your daughter let's everything bottle up, can't talk to her mother or you, or a teacher, and then gets so angry that she resorts to slapping someone, then this needs serious attention. She needs to learn and recognise that this is not appropriate behaviour and that she needs to talk to someone she trusts if she gets so upset and angry that she can't control herself in return.

Cherry_Bomb

th3duckst3r wrote: »

well she`s just slapped her thats it.

Thank god it was just a slap..........

Some parents astound me.

Blackpool_Saver

across the face ?????? if that is the case it's very serious

make_me_wise

th3duckst3r wrote: »

well she`s just slapped her thats it.

If you are raising your daughter to think the above is in any way acceptable it is little wonder she is being talked to by the police at 11 years old is it?

Some parents are their childs biggest problem!

th3duckst3r

Treevo wrote: »

You say your daughter did nothing wrong - she hit another person. Whatever the reasons (and there's always a convenient excuse that the parents are only too eager to believe) she hit another person.

ive said i didnt condone her lashing out.but prior to that my daughter did nothing wrong.
but the other girl was adamant she was going to cause problems.

we as adults,im assuming we all are.know better.children dont.
they have no idea of the words that are said or what harm they can do.
if you knew my daughter,you could see were i was coming from that its not like her to react that way.
sometimes trying to say to some one stop calling me names dosent work.the other person then knows they are getting to you and just keep going as they dont know when to stop.then you get ive had enough and hit out.the other person should get this and leave the other person alone end of.
im just not happy that the school made no contact with myself,i dont care what sort of officer came in, i should have been notified.

the incident should just go away, both children should be told that there behavior is not acceptable.

Marshflower

I can totally understand why you are angry but you need to try and take a step back and see it from another perspective.
Yes you have now found out that your daughter was being bullied- unacceptable. But so is dealing with it by hitting someone. It might be the most satisfying method but it is not right and by not acknowledging that neither you nor the school would be doing your daughter any favours. She needs to learn from this that the way to deal with it is to tell you or her mum or the school. And I think this is what the school are trying to show her and I really think you should follow their lead. It's highly unlikely the other girl will go unpunished now this behaviour has come to light but it doesn't make what your daughter did ok.
You talk about the effects of bullying reported in the papers etc and this is a key point here- those poor children bottle up what is happening until they take matters in to their own hands, which is to some extent exactly what your girl has done. They don't tell people about it or how they feel. We need to be sending a message to our kids that we are here for them as are their schools and they need to talk to us. If I were my daughter I would be more upset that she didn't confide in me than how the school reacted (which, by the way, in my opinion, was totally appropriate given the situation although now I hope BOTH girls are dealt with and then made to sort this out).
You need to have a calm conversation with the school about it all and also find out more about the involvement of the police. I suspect as others haw said it's just their assigned officer having a chat- in which case, again, I think is appropriate- but of course you need to know the full details.

Ultimately I think your anger, while understandable, is missing the point. The real issue here you need to be addressing is why your daughter didn't feel the need/didn't feel able to talk to you about something which was clearly causing her so much upset, and then find a way to ensure in future she feels she can be more open.