Affair?

Carl31

Id be more concerned that my immediate reaction to finding a piece of paper is that of the OPs, obviously the issue here is more than whats being said

claire16c

Aah OP why did you send a text! Youve given him plenty of time to come up with a lie now, if there is one to be made.

I would show it to him when he gets home and see what he says it is.

jayII

Valli wrote: »

If it's on offer, some bloke will take it.;)

So will some women if a bloke offers it. Poor helpless souls who can't say no.

jayII

OP, it all screams affair to me too. You both need a good heart to heart and you need to lay down some ground rules.

If he isn't willing to make changes and treat you with more respect then I'd seriously consider if he's worth your time and attention!

warehouse

Are there really people out there who DON'T have a password on their phones? Everyone I know does, it's called security. Don't think this is a sign OP, it's very normal. I and my wife have password protected phones and neither of would ever ask to see the others, it's a trust thing.

The fact that you can see his emails and browsing history, (which are both clear of passwords AND any incriminating evidence), says to me he is either the cleverest cheater on the planet or the note you found has a reasonable explanation.

DUTR

juliebunny wrote: »

Oh don't make me laugh. That line must have been trotted out by soooooo many men to blame their poor wives for their own misbehaviour. And yes, I'm sure it works the other way round (women having affairs).

In my experience, if you think something is going on, then it usually is. Women's instinct is too important to ignore.

I don't mean in a blame way,
whether male or female, if they are not getting all they need/want (emotional or physical) then they may stray or accept attention from elsewhere.

mwa

OP I'm sorry to say but it does all sound very suss, not what you want to hear I know. My OH was acting weird, started not letting phone out of his sight, put lock on it etc and it turned out to be an affair BUT we worked through it and 6 years later are better than we ever were. Good luck and keep us updated?

lippy1923

If he's in a sexless relationship, have you thought that maybe he's in the toilet for 30 mins + doing... erm private stuff

Maybe he's just being pervy and has lots !!!!!! on his phone, so he keeps it locked away from innocent eyes. Unless he's really really loved up with someone else, I can't honestly see a man locking himself in a bathroom to text another person for that long at a time.

Whatever the reasons, your relationship really isn't exactly running smoothly and you are absolutely right to be concerned by his behaviour. You need to speak with him about everything you have just posted on here. Voice your concerns, gage his reactions and decide for yourself if he's worth sticking around for. If he loves you, he will respect your concerns enough to change his behaviour. If he doesn't then you know where you stand and should move on.

balletshoes

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Marley doesn't really use his phone at home - he'll only pick it up if I text him during the day, or if his brother texts in the evening. He doesn't send unprompted texts, nor uses it for the internet (he's got a computer for that). Then he picks up his phone and takes it into the toilet for 20 minutes at a time .... Am I suspicious? No, because I hear the 'blip blip blip' of Angry Birds He's just passing the time in there. So - not every man is 'secretive' with his phone, some just don't use it except for bathroom entertainment (and not that sort!)

would he not answer his mobile if it rang, outside of the toilet? Don't get me wrong, I'm the worlds worst for not hearing my mobile, its not even usually in the same room as I'm in when I get home, but I also don't just solely use it in the toilet. Actually ignoring the phone at home when its ringing and its sat next to you, then taking it into the toilet, seems a bit suss to me.

balletshoes

warehouse wrote: »

Are there really people out there who DON'T have a password on their phones? Everyone I know does, it's called security. Don't think this is a sign OP, it's very normal. I and my wife have password protected phones and neither of would ever ask to see the others, it's a trust thing.

I don't have password on my phone - its payg and is so old you can't buy them in the shops anymore.