Affair?

aileth

Unfortunately I can't surprise him..., stupidly I was caught so off guard I text him asking what this love note is and that's it, so now I don't have that in my arsenal. It's probably nothing but its really took me by surprise. His first wife had an affair and he always said what she did was evil, so I thought he couldn't be capable

victory

aileth wrote: »

I haven't listened in as its not a phone call unfortunately, and I've him if he's getting that but he says that his email ringtone, which I know it's not as I've been sat next to him and sent him a picture via text and it made the same noise.

When I've asked about passwords, he goes off on one about trust.

What do you mean it's not a phone call? You said he uses the phone only when he goes to the loo so that is a phone all or he emails for 20 mins plus?

Are you general mistrusting? Do you have trust issues?

victory

aileth wrote: »

Unfortunately I can't surprise him..., stupidly I was caught so off guard I text him asking what this love note is and that's it, so now I don't have that in my arsenal. It's probably nothing but its really took me by surprise. His first wife had an affair and he always said what she did was evil, so I thought he couldn't be capable

So you have told him? Has he replied? Was the text accusatory?

aileth

Yes because I've asked him why he takes so long and he says he is in his phone. I wouldn't call myself mistrusting, in fact this would be the last thing I'd expect given his history, which is why I'm off guard

aileth

No he's at work but I was hoping he might be able to respond on a toilet break but nothing yet. I said "what's this love note in the bin?" And that was it

Marshflower

I can't believe I'm about to write this but I take my phone to the loo because I read message boards etc instead of magazines. Ahem ...:o

I have a lock code incase phone is lost or stolen but have told DH the code. Not that he'd remember it if his life depended on it!

Could the heart etc have been a joke from one of his work mates? It sounds a bit kind of childish to be a serious thing?

You must discuss it with him when he gets in but do it calmly. If he hasn't been mucking about it might still give you the launch pad you need to maybe sort things out if your relationship isn't everything yoi want it to be.

DUTR

aileth wrote: »

Things aren't exactly peachy. It's not bad as such but were more best friends than lovers. I know it sounds weird, but I've just felt like he's been hiding something. Before when he had days off I'd ask him what he'd got up to and he'd go on and on. Now if I ask if he had a good day and if anything interesting happened he just says he's done nothing all day, and when I ask how he did nothing for 8 hrs he just shrugs and said he did. Probably nothing but...

I've been off work for 3 weeks, and back in January I had two weeks off, you know what I done most days? ....Nothing.
Like an earlier poster suggested, just ask him out right and watch his body language. But also check you don't have your own insecurities and convincing yourself of an affair that may not be happening

thunderbird

could easily have been a joke from a colleague - don't jump to any conclusions!

alias*alibi

Alchemilla wrote: »

why does he need a password on his phone?

My husbands wasn't password protected but it sure was superglued to his pocket and never left anywhere I could pick it up when he was having his affair. The OW would text him whilst we were watching TV and I'd catch him smirk and he'd say it was a lad from work texting jokes...

FBaby

I'm very surprised by everyone responses. What you've written can be summarised as follow:
- you don't have an intimate relationship
- he doesn't tell you what he does in his days off
- he goes and hide for up to 1/2 hour in the toilet with his phone
- he never picks up his phone if it rings in your presence
- he never lets it out of his sight
- his phone is password protected but he won't tell you what the password is
- it would appears he protects his emails
- you've just found a suspicious note
- he hasn't bothered to call you to ask you what your message is all about and felt the need to reassure you immediately that it is a misunderstanding

and everyone think it is NOTHING???? Well sorry but I don't consider myself paranoid in anyway and trust my partner totally, but if I was the one writing this, I would most definitely be worried that he is indeed up to something. Sorry but my interpretation is that there are more chances from what you right that you have discovered something than all the above being totally unrelated and normal behaviour when all put together.