Affair?

CH27

You sound more like housemates than loving partners.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

FBaby wrote: »

I'm very surprised by everyone responses. What you've written can be summarised as follow:
- you don't have an intimate relationship
- he doesn't tell you what he does in his days off
- he goes and hide for up to 1/2 hour in the toilet with his phone
- he never picks up his phone if it rings in your presence
- he never lets it out of his sight
- his phone is password protected but he won't tell you what the password is
- it would appears he protects his emails
- you've just found a suspicious note
- he hasn't bothered to call you to ask you what your message is all about and felt the need to reassure you immediately that it is a misunderstanding

and everyone think it is NOTHING???? Well sorry but I don't consider myself paranoid in anyway and trust my partner totally, but if I was the one writing this, I would most definitely be worried that he is indeed up to something. Sorry but my interpretation is that there are more chances from what you right that you have discovered something than all the above being totally unrelated and normal behaviour when all put together.

Where did you get that? People are just being nice as the OP is asking for 'other reasons'. However she shot her load by texting him!

Marshflower

FBaby wrote: »

I'm very surprised by everyone responses. What you've written can be summarised as follow:
- you don't have an intimate relationship
- he doesn't tell you what he does in his days off
- he goes and hide for up to 1/2 hour in the toilet with his phone
- he never picks up his phone if it rings in your presence
- he never lets it out of his sight
- his phone is password protected but he won't tell you what the password is
- it would appears he protects his emails
- you've just found a suspicious note
- he hasn't bothered to call you to ask you what your message is all about and felt the need to reassure you immediately that it is a misunderstanding

and everyone think it is NOTHING???? Well sorry but I don't consider myself paranoid in anyway and trust my partner totally, but if I was the one writing this, I would most definitely be worried that he is indeed up to something. Sorry but my interpretation is that there are more chances from what you right that you have discovered something than all the above being totally unrelated and normal behaviour when all put together.

It's certainly isn't my idea of a dream relationship and it's not everyone's but it's horses for courses. All of the above doesn't make for a happy relationship but it certainly doesn't automatically signify an affair.

bagpussbear

could the bit of paper be from anyone else in your house, teenagers or something? I'm wondering if its been used twice by 2 different people in your home, not realising what was on the other side?

aileth

There's only me and him in the house. He finally responded and said it's a bit of scrap paper, and then immediately changed the subject. I'm not sure how to take that but I'll have to put it to the side now as I don't have much else.

go_cat

aileth wrote: »

No he's at work but I was hoping he might be able to respond on a toilet break but nothing yet. I said "what's this love note in the bin?" And that was it

Would he normally respond to your texts at work? Is ignoring this text out of character if so then you may have more to worry about.

When he comes home keep quiet and d let him do the talking don't say a word u til he talks. You should be able to tell if he is lying or making a story up

Edit - wrote all that and now he's responded see how he is when he comes home and how he behaves around you

go_cat

aileth wrote: »

There's only me and him in the house. He finally responded and said it's a bit of scrap paper.

how did he know you were talking about the same piece of paper if he had genuinely used it as scrap wou.d he have known about th love heart ?

I use lots of scrap paper at work but couldn't tell you what is on the back

FBaby

aileth wrote: »

There's only me and him in the house. He finally responded and said it's a bit of scrap paper, and then immediately changed the subject. I'm not sure how to take that but I'll have to put it to the side now as I don't have much else.

Can you really put it to the side? You know you have a right to be concerned that it could be an affair because even though every one is trying to give reasons as to why it might not be, the reality is that much of his behaviour does allow to question it. You are not paranoid, you are faced with suspicious circumstances, that could just all be a coincidence...or not...

Many affairs do get discover like this. I sincerely hope this is not case for you, but surely you need to have your mind put at rest?

bagpussbear

aileth wrote: »

There's only me and him in the house. He finally responded and said it's a bit of scrap paper, and then immediately changed the subject. I'm not sure how to take that but I'll have to put it to the side now as I don't have much else.

Don't put it to one side, ask him when he gets back that you want to know exactly who wrote that, why he had the bit of paper etc etc. At least you can see his reaction face on, and see how you feel by this reaction.

How did he know it was a bit of scrap paper, without him seeing it. It seems a little suspicious, which is why I ask if there was anyone else in your home it could come from.

I feel for you OP. What does your gut instinct say?

victory

bagpussbear wrote: »

Don't put it to one side, ask him when he gets back that you want to know exactly who wrote that, why he had the bit of paper etc etc. At least you can see his reaction face on, and see how you feel by this reaction.

How did he know it was a bit of scrap paper, without him seeing it. It seems a little suspicious, which is why I ask if there was anyone else in your home it could come from.

I feel for you OP. What does your gut instinct say?

Her gut instinct says affair hence the thread;)