Affair?

alleycat`

Could be, could be nothing at all.

I quite often use scraps of paper around the office to write down all sort of things.
The reverse quite often has something else jotted on it that is nothing to do with me (Paper is often placed in the "scrap" pile in this state where one side is still usable).

Not having any history in your browser is not exactly an act of infidelity. Clearing cookies and history is actually very good practice.

Mine are set to clear when i close the browser. Ditto my OH's and my DS, because i set them that way.

Do you have any other indications of an affair or is that it?

aileth

He will only use the phone when he goes to the toilet also, and he'll be in there for 20-30 minutes. He never gets it out when I'm there and if it goes off he ignores it.

Robisere

1. Say nothing when he gets home, he's just finished work and you need him relaxed. Behave as if everything is normal. (Which it is unless he is 'playing away'.)

2. Cook him a good dinner, something he really likes, maybe a nice glass of something if that's what you do.

3. Do you have children? If so, wait until they are in bed. If not, wash pots after dinner, get him in front of the TV all nice and relaxed.

4. Hand him the note, without a word. Don't speak until you see his reaction.

The rest you will have to play according to his reaction. Just remember that being calm and speaking softly, will get you more answers than screaming.

EDIT: I was typing this whilst all other replies were posted. Having read your further reactions, I have to say that it all adds up to a secretive man, who sounds just like my ex-SIL. He is now on relationship Umpteen, after 3 failed marriages and I don't know how many other live-in loves.

Every time was the result of chasing someone new, trying to control each successive partner. As the partners matured and resisted the control, he went looking again. My daughter and the next one that he left her for, have since met and compared notes. Both had no idea whatsoever about his activities until he did or said something to give him away.

In my daughter's case, he was supposedly running a business miles away and stopping in a certain hotel. Then my g-son had an accident and I rang the hotel. No sir, not a guest here. Looking futher back, never been a guest here.

A secretive control freak, ring any bells?

marisco_2

aileth wrote: »

I was in the middle of making dinner just now and went to put something in the bin when I saw a note with a heart drawn on at the top of the pile. I've taken it out and in female handwriting (or feminine - either way definitely not my husbands) is written "I love you xxxxxxxxxxx", on the other side is his shifts written down from work, and on another attached bit the heart with the arrow I saw.

Is any of it in your husbands handwriting? Are his shifts written by him? Or could whoever wrote the message have jotted down his shifts?

It could be something as innocent, as your husband swapping shifts with someone to help them out and they have written a silly note because his flexibility has really helped them.

Do ask him about it when he comes home, but stay calm and see how he reacts.

aileth

His shifts are his writing, heart and love you are totally different.

victory

aileth wrote: »

He will only use the phone when he goes to the toilet also, and he'll be in there for 20-30 minutes. He never gets it out when I'm there and if it goes off he ignores it.

Well, have you never gone to the loo door and listened it? Have you never asked him why he does that? Something like'your phones ringing are you getting that?

Idiophreak

aileth wrote: »

He says the phone password is for if he lost his phone to stop a thief getting into it, which I do understand but..

Presumably this doesn't stop him from telling you the password, though?

Both OH and I have passwords on our phones, but we both know one another's and use them as suits.

(although we will tell each other not to look at our emails, if we've been ordering birthday presents etc)

aileth

I haven't listened in as its not a phone call unfortunately, and I've him if he's getting that but he says that his email ringtone, which I know it's not as I've been sat next to him and sent him a picture via text and it made the same noise.

When I've asked about passwords, he goes off on one about trust.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

It could be. I'd be leaving it on the table on his placemat if it were me. And watch his face when he spots it.

Idiophreak

aileth wrote: »

When I've asked about passwords, he goes off on one about trust.

Hm, does sounds like he has something to hide.

(FWIW though, I take my phone to the bathroom for quite a long time, too - I play Flick Kick Football and it's very addictive )