Affair?

pigpen

Doesn't everyone have a password on their phone? :eek: .. no wonder so many clowns accidentally ring people when their phone is in their pocket or bag! That is really annoying.

I rarely answer calls, I briefly look at my phone if I get a text see who it is from and 99% of the time I ignore it.

I take my phone to the loo and play solitaire while I poo.. and sometimes I reply to some of the ignored texts. I check emails then too.. and sometimes update my 'zoo' and browse facebook.. I stay in a while hiding from children

That all seems fairly standard behaviour for the people I know.

I have before text OH from the loo asking him to make a cuppa lol

I am fairly sure I'm not having an affair but by the logic here I must be.. pmsl.

OP.. ask him to bring home some more of these scraps of paper! I am sure he wouldn't be so stupid as to leave 'evidence' if he was having an affair.

aileth

Just as per my last one about him not noticing it, so people can get an idea (if this works). He says he didn't notice what was on the paper when he wrote his shifts

Front of folded paper:
______________
| - - |
| I love you - |
| xxxxxxxxx - |
|_____________|

When opened up:
____________________________
| | - - |
| Shifts here- - | BIG heart here |
| - |
|_____________|______________|

LEJC

What is also worth remembering is that it was valentines day recently andworking in an office there probably is a lot of "humerous" fun made of the day....

someone could have made a "card" from a piece of paper because perhaps he was someone without a card on the day...its the sort of supid things that people do as part of office banter...
my husband works in an office environment and he gets birthday cards fashioned out of bits of paper from some of the younger girls ....but it doesnt mean hes having an affair with them,its more of a jokey thing I think...the fact that your husband then used the piece of paper to write his shifts on probably indicates that he doesnt "value" the sentiment written on it and the fact that he binned it at home once he had the details of his shifts probably means he didnt give it another thought...to him it was a piece of paper with his shifts on!

aileth

LEJC wrote: »

What is also worth remembering is that it was valentines day recently andworking in an office there probably is a lot of "humerous" fun made of the day....

someone could have made a "card" from a piece of paper because perhaps he was someone without a card on the day...its the sort of supid things that people do as part of office banter...
my husband works in an office environment and he gets birthday cards fashioned out of bits of paper from some of the younger girls ....but it doesnt mean hes having an affair with them,its more of a jokey thing I think...the fact that your husband then used the piece of paper to write his shifts on probably indicates that he doesnt "value" the sentiment written on it and the fact that he binned it at home once he had the details of his shifts probably means he didnt give it another thought...to him it was a piece of paper with his shifts on!

I understand that, but now he is saying he didn't see what was on the piece of paper and just wrote his shifts down and only noticed after he'd written his shifts down.

It's starting to feel the more I talk to him about it, the more tales are getting spun and it's actually making me more convinced something is going on rather than putting my mind at ease.

LEJC

aileth wrote: »

I understand that, but now he is saying he didn't see what was on the piece of paper and just wrote his shifts down and only noticed after he'd written his shifts down.

Some men dont tend to notice the relevance of things when they just need a piece of paper to jot things down on!

JustinCredibleGillespie

I dunno OP. I can understand what LEJC is saying also, but theres never smoke without fire. If your happy just to bumble along then so be it.

Time will tell because he will slip up again and if anything untoward or strange happens, like more frequent nights out with work buddies etc, dont ignore it, face it head on. You have to protect yourself and your feelings too.

JCG

xx

dktreesea

aileth wrote: »

I understand that, but now he is saying he didn't see what was on the piece of paper and just wrote his shifts down and only noticed after he'd written his shifts down.

It's starting to feel the more I talk to him about it, the more tales are getting spun and it's actually making me more convinced something is going on rather than putting my mind at ease.

It doesn't sound like he is very interested in you sexually. Why would he be, if he has found someone more to his taste outside the marriage?

No need to guess and torture yourself. You could hire a private detective to follow him and see what he is up to. Try his days off. They will have photos of his every move. From how he dresses leaving the house, to where he goes, who he meets up with, where they go together. Even sitting close to him somewhere and recording his side of any mobile phone calls. Why torture yourself when there is a way to be sure?

scooby088

For one thing from reading this is I cannot be sure of anything, I have my mobile phone by me at all times, why should you be open with things like phones in a relationship? Saying that though my OH can look at my phone anytime she likes as I have nothing to hide. Going on the toilet I tend to play hangman on my phone in there.

OP it's up to you what you want to do, we can only advise but things don't look good if there is no trust from you.

sarko

LEJC wrote: »

Some men dont tend to notice the relevance of things when they just need a piece of paper to jot things down on!

Stevie Wonder could have seen the heart on it if it was in front of him, plus the husband obviously knew about it when the wife text him.

His behaviour all points to him hiding something from you, he's trying to keep a part of his life secret from you, most likely another woman.

shop-to-drop

You say you've been married two years and the sexual side of marriage went after a year. You also say that the funny business with the phone started a year ago. So they coincided then. I'm feeling that you do believe he is having an affair but are just trying to accept this information and decide what to do. You have probably lived with the suspicion for a year now and are almost 'used to it'. Is he financially dependent on you? If so do you think this is why he is staying in the relationship?

Like the prvious poster said you have one chance of life make the most of it, don't put up with being treated badly. You deserve more.