Would you be annoyed?

bitemebankers

balletshoes wrote: »

I do agree he should apologise for getting the OP out of bed to let him in because he was too drunk to open the door.

I guess. Although I think me and my girlfriend would just laugh about it in the morning. I mean, it's not a big deal is it?

balletshoes

bitemebankers wrote: »

I guess. Although I think me and my girlfriend would just laugh about it in the morning. I mean, it's not a big deal is it?

I suppose it would depend for me if it was a frequent occurrence when OH had a night out, that he was always so drunk he couldn't find the front door lock with his key?

My OH can't handle his drink, he doesn't get drunk very often, and I think I've seen him legless maybe 3 or 4 times total - so yes, on those rare occasions where I've had to get up and open the door for him, I do laugh - because I know how rough he's going to feel the next day . (and OH always apologises - usually when he's crawling up the stairs to the bathroom).

Dunroamin

balletshoes wrote: »

am I reading the same thread as everyone else? Was he later than he expected to be? Or was it that the OP assumed that because she was going to be home by 8pm that he would be home by then too, from his drinks out with his friends? He may have expected to be out til 1am when he mentioned it to the OP before he went out? So why then would he text or phone her to tell her he was on schedule?

I do agree he should apologise for getting the OP out of bed to let him in because he was too drunk to open the door.

You've saved me posting this, some people are talking as if he'd been out all night, totally unexpectedly.

newcook

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Ha ha! He'll just get a take away.



Didn't he have his own key... or was it just that he couldn't he get it in the locK?

hahaha! I'd 'accidentally' forgotten to take my key out of the inside of the door

Mrs_Bones

helenut wrote: »

I did think my multiple texts were a bit OTT. I've calmed down a bit now, still won't be speaking to him until I get home, I want to see if he will actually put dinner on without me telling him how

I probably do need to chill out a bit, he's young and a student. I think I may be a little jealous?? It has been a couple of years since I left uni and I'm on a distance learning course + working full time + paying all the bills (his mum pays half the rent). I wish I could be out partying

I've just read the thread and it's that one sentence above that stood out for me. You are both the same age, making allowances is one thing, being taken for a mug is another.

He told you he was going out so that isn't the problem. Not answering your texts was unthoughtful but not the end of the world as many people I know don't bother with texting when out. What is a worry is that he's not apologized in the anyway, not even for getting you up in the early hours to let him in, a slurred sorry would at least be the norm. Neither does he seem to think there is anything wrong in his behaviour. He is young but at 23 he's not that young, he seems exceptionally immature.

You are suppose to be his partner not his mother, letting him think he can just act like he's still a teenager with no responsibility for his own actions is a form of mothering. If you are serious about the relationship you have decided how much you are prepared to put up and what you are getting out of it because from what you've said it does not seem to be a partnership of equal responsibility. If he hasn't learned how to take responsibility for his actions and the effects on other people he's suppose to care about by now, at what age do you expect him to grow up?

Person_one

Mrs_Bones wrote: »

You are suppose to be his partner not his mother, letting him think he can just act like he's still a teenager with no responsibility for his own actions is a form of mothering. If you are serious about the relationship you have decided how much you are prepared to put up and what you are getting out of it because from what you've said it does not seem to be a partnership of equal responsibility. If he hasn't learned how to take responsibility for his actions and the effects on other people he's suppose to care about by now, at what age do you expect him to grow up?

I don't get it. Is it really so terrible to stumble home drunk every now and then in your twenties? Even in your thirties or forties?
There's no real harm done here, what do people think he should be doing that he isn't?

If apologies are owed, they're owed on both sides. Yes, he woke her up in the middle of the night, but she completely overreacted and was trying to use his phone as some sort of electronic tag! Neither of them are perfect here!

bitemebankers

Person_one wrote: »

I don't get it. Is it really so terrible to stumble home drunk every now and then in your twenties? Even in your thirties or forties?
There's no real harm done here, what do people think he should be doing that he isn't?

If apologies are owed, they're owed on both sides. Yes, he woke her up in the middle of the night, but she completely overreacted and was trying to use his phone as some sort of electronic tag! Neither of them are perfect here!

Well said.

victory

That's a good point about using the phone as some kind of electronic tag, my sons GF is always tracking and tracing and even himself sometimes says to me and her...., enough:D

amcg100

If I was out with the lads and had agreed it was ok with my girlfriend I sure as hell wouldn't want to be pestered/ tracked with text messages from my girlfriend all night. I think I would however have checked in at some point during the day. Girls like texting a lot, but most guys I know arent so keen.
If you think he is being unreasonable, and it sounds kind of borderline, you might like to sod off for a weekend with a girlfriend and blank him for a couple of days - might let him see what it feels like.

HeadAboveWater

Unfortunately that likely won't work, coz the guy will probably just head on out himself and not give the girl a second thought

Besides, that's going in to the whole tit-for-tat thing. 'He stayed out til 1 so I'll stay out til 2'. 'She stayed out til 2 so I'll stay out til 3'. Where does it end?!?!?!