Would you be annoyed?

Mojisola

Dunroamin wrote: »

Although the BF is acting rather young for 23, the OP is acting rather middle aged - not a recipe for a successful relationship.

It sounds more like a parent/child relationship.

There's plenty of middle-aged people who still like a late night out!

newcook

Dunroamin wrote: »

Although the BF is acting rather young for 23, the OP is acting rather middle aged - not a recipe for a successful relationship.

I don’t think it’s a middle age thing – just a manners and respect for those you live with!

When I lived with my parents my mom didn’t mind if I was going to be out all night providing I let her know so she didn’t lay awake worrying I was in a ditch somewhere. Im now 32 and me and my housemate will drop each other a text (sometimes incoherent!!) just to let the other know we are ok.

Maybe it’s a girl thing?

Pleaseadvise

19lottie82 wrote: »

That was your choice. I think most 23 year olds are still out partying rather than changing nappies.

I don't doubt that. My point is that if someone acts like a selfish child at say, 15, maybe it's because they don't have the maturity to understand what they're doing.

By 23 they're capable of understanding another person's feelings, and the obligations of being in a committed relationship (like answering messages). If they still act like a selfish child, then it's by choice.

VestanPance

newcook wrote: »

Maybe it’s a girl thing?

Possibly, maybe a type of personality thing. I don't know any guys that would text someone to let them known were they where unless under strict instruction from the boss (her indoors).

Although I'd assume most young men planning a evening out with their mates would whack the phone on silent and enjoy a good laugh with their friends.

As poor as it was he didn't let her know he was staying out late with mates, the constant texting from the OP would have driven me batty. He comes across as being a bit immature, but then if he's still a student he's still living that lifestyle by what has been reported.

Dunroamin

newcook wrote: »

I don’t think it’s a middle age thing – just a manners and respect for those you live with!

When I lived with my parents my mom didn’t mind if I was going to be out all night providing I let her know so she didn’t lay awake worrying I was in a ditch somewhere. Im now 32 and me and my housemate will drop each other a text (sometimes incoherent!!) just to let the other know we are ok.

Maybe it’s a girl thing?

I'm a girl!

LannieDuck

VestanPance wrote: »

Possibly, maybe a type of personality thing. I don't know any guys that would text someone to let them known were they where unless under strict instruction from the boss (her indoors).

Really? My OH would let's me know if he decides to stay out later than intended. I've never asked him to do that (or given him 'strict instructions'), he just does it because it's polite. And if the roles are reversed, I do it too.

Marshflower

LannieDuck wrote: »

Really? My OH would let's me know if he decides to stay out later than intended. I've never asked him to do that (or given him 'strict instructions'), he just does it because it's polite. And if the roles are reversed, I do it too.

Ditto!

I hate this view of your partner being a burden - the old ball and chain nonsense - and having to tell them where you are as a real drag and some rule you have to adhere to. If I am staying out later than planned then I phone my husband and tell him because I actually like the guy and wouldn't want him to worry about me and wondering if I was lying in a ditch somewhere - and ditto him with me! Especially as we have a child. It's a common courtesy to someone you share not only a home with but also life.

Joons

Well I'm middle aged and I've forgotten or been too `tipsy` to text my other half back so a 23 year old doing it seems pretty insignificant to me, although I have said, it's the wrong thing to do. I bet there was no malice intended, when folk have one too many, time does fly.

duchy

Pleaseadvise wrote: »

I wouldn't just be annoyed, I'd be incandescent! 23 is not a child - at that age my husband and I were married and parents. The fact that the boyfriend isn't even sorry is amazing.

Well he does sound a bit of a man child TBH - lives with his girlfriend but his Mum pays his rent-can't use a slow cooker , sulks.

I grew up pre- mobiles and in some ways it was easier -if you were going out you were out of touch for the evening...end of story. I do find it a little intrusive to be "expected" to be available to text back instantly to a partner -it smacks of them resenting me free time if it's over and above me "Just arrived" "OK have a good time ". TBH I do think the OP was a little like a mother hen .....she knew he was out for the night .....and complaining to his MOTHER ??? Oh please !! Sounds like they were both sitting there talking about what a naughty boy he is...... Hardly the sign of an equal relationship. After a string of texts and then the silent treatment next morning ......he acted as he was treated-like a little boy.

I do think a text if delayed is the polite and considerate thing to do however but sometimes things just happen. My boyfriend surprised me with a trip to Liverpool to a concert- I was supposed to fly home from Ireland but he told me to fly to Liverpool instead and he'd drive up and meet me. The car broke down on the motorway -and whilst trying to get a hire car sorted he dropped his phone. He arrived hours late in Liverpool. When he didn't reply to my texts I assumed his phone was either dead or lost -and just got on with the weekend til he arrived... I certainly wasn't going to sulk over it or worry myself sick - He's a grown up and capable of sorting himself out if he gets in a pickle.

littlerat

Ok, I agree the drinking and coming in loudly at 1am is ridiculous, without warning you at all. How drunk do you have to be to be unable to work a key? Genuine question, I'm not a drinker.


That said, my Dad doesn't expect that much contact with me even though I live at home, because I'm an adult. If I'm going to be home far later than planned I'd tell him and I'd not come and wake everyone, but I'd not be expected to contact him several times in a day. He's an adult!