Why would someone's weight be up for discussing ?

pigpen

daisiegg wrote: »

Not sure I agree with this....I have never witnessed someone saying to someone else 'oh you've got a very large spot on your chin!' or 'forget to shave your armpits today did you?'

Do you not see other women?

I saw my brother for the first time in 13 months a few weeks ago and one of the first things we discussed was a huge spot on his forehead.. it was named Fred.

You have seriously never discussed your 'winter coat' with close friends??

How bizarre! I am yet to be in a group of women who are in a room together for more than 20 minutes without the topics moving on from frozen peas to childbirth periods and weight.. What else would they talk about? lol

maman

Ironically I met a former colleague yesterday who I hadn't seen for a few years. She had obviousy gained a few pounds whereas she used to be very slim indeed. I suspect it might be 'her age' and perhaps some comfort eating as she's had a stressful time recently. Did I comment? Certainly not! I'm sure she feels bad enough about it without me rubbing it in.

I think perhaps people feel a bit more free to comment these days because of all the publicity about obesity. It's almost allowed because it's like you're concerned for their health.

On the reverse side, I've lost weight myself lately and if anyone comments and asks me how I've done it I'm happy to give advice otherwise I say nothing.

nzmegs

Weight is one of those issues you should only ever discuss with someone if they bring it up first. it is just etiquette. even if they do bring it up you should be as polite as possible and still compliment them. it is just the done thing.

onlyroz

Perhaps, in the midst of the current obesity epidemic, people should be more comfortable talking about their weight gain/loss. From a personal point of view an obese person either has or is likely to have significant health problems. From an economic point of view an obese person puts an additional strain on the local health services. But if nobody ever talks about it people will carry on getting fatter and fatter without ever thinking it is a problem.

TeamLowe

i think it depends what kind of dieter they are. some people are real diet bores and go on and on and on and on about how their diet is amazing and everyone should be on it and ooh you shouldn't eat and that's got x calories in it.

my sister, for example, after her second weight watchers class was telling me the points value of everything i put in my mouth. that was fun and didn't make me feel bad at all about what i was eating and how much.

so i'd say it depends on her attitude when she's thinner towards her friends, especially her plumper friends, how they are with her when she's plumper...

londonsurrey

She could consider fraternising with a less superficial crowd?

marisco_2

victory wrote: »

Why would her weight be up for discussion?what difference does it make to these people what size clothes she wears?

It doesn't change her personality, she still is the same.

Your lovely friend needs to shift an awful lot of weight, in the form of rude friends who dont deserve her. I expect that would make her feel a hell of alot better instantly.

Some folk are just plain shallow and focus on things that are nothing to do with them. If they were solely concerned about how her weight might effect her health they would not speak to her in such a rude and insensitive manner.

If your friend chooses to she can diet. Your friends are stuck with their personality problems.

andygb

londonsurrey wrote: »

She could consider fraternising with a less superficial crowd?

I agree, I wouldn't want to fraternise with people who asked me questions like that. To say that they were "blunt" is an understatement. Perhaps some people get a lot of pleasure out of causing hurt, or ganging up to make some people feel even more miserable:(

victory

Thanks for the replies:D

hunters it was not me that said anything to her hence the thread questioning why someone would?

savingpennies that's what I don't get? Why would it make them feel better?

maman that's it, you could see it but did not comment. As I would have not.

nzmegs true

onlyro true in my friends case her weight has not caused any real health issue, bigger clothes yes.

teamlowe like I replied earlier no idea on whether she is a dieter bore or not

london people as has been said are inquisitive by nature just not sure why?

marisco my friend has been dieting slimming and loosing successfully for many a year but has also had times of gains , she knows how it all works just a bit surprised at the questions:D

TimBear

Perhaps these women feel in some sort of competition? I know women like it - if someone puts on weight they (not-so-secretly) relish in that, whereas on the flip side if someone they know loses weight it can really affect them, in a childish/jealous sort of way.