Why would someone's weight be up for discussing ?

TimBear

victory wrote: »

It doesn't make her a better friend to me or a worse one, its nothing to do with me.

Exactly. If my friends were so shallow to make comments in that way (and potentially upset me, without even thinking about it), then I honestly don't think I'd want to be friends with them anymore.

Joons

Hermia wrote: »

You have to be quite confident in yourself (or thick skinned) to make those sorts of remarks though. The person could easily turn round and say, "well actually for a while now I have thought your hair colour looks ridiculous or your skin is really manky, but I didn't want to say anything, but if we're now being honest..." I think it would be disastrous if we started being totally honest with each other as I am sure we all have physical or personality characteristics that some people may not like. If someone's weight is clearly causing them health problems then a good friend would try and discuss it. But I can't see why anyone would want to spend time with a group of people who are going to discuss you like a lump of meat.

I agree, I don't mean in the context that I would be discussing it in that way.

pigpen

Hermia wrote: »

I don't have friends who talk about those things and we manage to have conversations with no problems! I have never understood women who cannot get through a conversation without mentioning their sodding womb or their piles!

Lol.. I have a very broad and open mind and obviously am just very approachable (like a starving shark)

As for piles, I've never had them so cannot advise.. My friend has discussed hers though.. and her genital herpes (with my oldest son!), leaky bladder and her sex life is of international acclaim.. mostly over lunch.

PMSL.. I am sure it is quite normal to discuss bodily functions, body parts and medical issues.. bizarrely, I think the only person I would feel uncomfortable discussing such things with is my OH.

I would much rather a friend said to me 'that hair cut is awful/that top looks silly/my goodness you need to do something about that beard'.. far preferable to everyone looking at you as you walk down the street staring and saying nothing... I love honestly, blunt or not, I cannot abide nicey nicey 2 faced carrying on.. the second you leave 'my goodness .. did you see the state of that!?'

System

I wouldn't want random people or even friends commenting on my weight gain. Someone was said to my ex "oh xXMessedUpXx has become a heffer since she's been with you". Made me feel like absolute !!!!!.

The only people i will discuss gains with are my dietician and my bf (and only my bf as he's trying to lose weight too). I would never tell someone i'd thought they'd put on weight regardless if they had or not, as i know what its like for people to comment on and it doesn't "motivate" you it makes you feel crap.

delain

Lol I'm going to start naming things. Legend :rotfl: now I just need some spots. Think I'll pass on the piles though! (pun intended) :rotfl:

merlot123

Hermia wrote: »

Same here! I have never known anyone who is this blunt with others. Why would you want to make someone's day worse!

I returned to work after the school half term and one of my colleagues whom is known for being very blunt and to the point ask me If I had gained a little weight, I simply answered her yes, I've eaten too much pasta and had too much wine for the past few weeks.

I told her I was on the 5 2 diet and it was my fast day, she offered to make me a salad for lunch (shes a cook!).

It doesn't bother me in the slightest what people think of me, I know they talk about me behind my back about the clothes I'm wearing etc as everyday the said cook looks me up and down when I arrive at work and as I have generally worn the same style Timberland boot everyday since I started there 5 years ago she asks me If I've any other shoes. It's the way she is, I don't dislike her for it.

merlot123

pigpen

delain wrote: »

Lol I'm going to start naming things. Legend :rotfl: now I just need some spots. Think I'll pass on the piles though! (pun intended) :rotfl:

'Colin' got squished earlier.. OH is still moaning!!

scooby088

I have been overweight for most of my life, I have had the name calling some really horrendous words, I can feel for anyone who gets called those names, I have really grown a really tough skin when faced with insults from so called thin/slim people.

All my answer to them is I can lose my weight but you can't lose your ugly face or attitude depending on how I feel at the time. Only ever came close to thumping someone once for a remark otherwise i just let it go.

piglet74

I had been overweight on and off for years, and tho people would have mentioned weight to me, I never would mention weight to anyone.

I have since lost a lot of weight (see Sig ) and my weight (albeit now, my weight loss) is still a hot topic of discussion, but again, I never bring the issue up first, I do get a lot of questions like "what do u have for breakfast.." Etc

I know from the way I am asked some questions, and the tone and facial expressions that go with them questions, that some "friends" are just dying for me to fall off the diet wagon and start to pile the weight on

MrsE_2

pigpen wrote: »

Lol.. I have a very broad and open mind and obviously am just very approachable (like a starving shark)

As for piles, I've never had them so cannot advise.. My friend has discussed hers though.. and her genital herpes (with my oldest son!), leaky bladder and her sex life is of international acclaim.. mostly over lunch.

PMSL.. I am sure it is quite normal to discuss bodily functions, body parts and medical issues.. bizarrely, I think the only person I would feel uncomfortable discussing such things with is my OH.

I would much rather a friend said to me 'that hair cut is awful/that top looks silly/my goodness you need to do something about that beard'.. far preferable to everyone looking at you as you walk down the street staring and saying nothing... I love honestly, blunt or not, I cannot abide nicey nicey 2 faced carrying on.. the second you leave 'my goodness .. did you see the state of that!?'

That would be because they are pointing out something you don't know. The OPs friend doesn't need telling she's fat, she already knows.........
She doesn't need "friends" like that.