Why would someone's weight be up for discussing ?

bossymoo

piglet74 wrote: »

I had been overweight on and off for years, and tho people would have mentioned weight to me, I never would mention weight to anyone.

I have since lost a lot of weight (see Sig ) and my weight (albeit now, my weight loss) is still a hot topic of discussion, but again, I never bring the issue up first, I do get a lot of questions like "what do u have for breakfast.." Etc

I know from the way I am asked some questions, and the tone and facial expressions that go with them questions, that some "friends" are just dying for me to fall off the diet wagon and start to pile the weight on

What do you have for breakfast? :rotfl:

coolcait

Hmm. I'll answer this one without reading the rest of the thread first - and then see if/how my view changes...

Most people are quite happy to have their friends comment on the fact that they have lost weight. Or appear to have lost weight. 'Are you sure you haven't lost weight?!'

So, on the evidence, weight is frequently 'up for discussion'.

You have put it 'up for discussion' by creating this thread

However, in my experience, people generally don't mention it when someone has put on weight. None of my British friends or colleagues would ever make comments like that.

In fact, IME, if someone laments that they have put on weight, my British friends and colleagues will hasten to say things like 'don't be daft!', 'you're fine as you are', and so on.

If there's clearly no denying the fact that the person has put on weight, then the worst they will muster is 'Ah well, all the more to love, eh?'

Friends from other countries, on the other hand, will make the kind of comments in your post. Just like Edna in The Incredibles (at 0.33 in this clip - but watch it all for the joy of it!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68ndaZSKa8

Edited to add - thread now read; all of the above still stands

balletshoes

coolcait wrote: »

Hmm. I'll answer this one without reading the rest of the thread first - and then see if/how my view changes...

Most people are quite happy to have their friends comment on the fact that they have lost weight. Or appear to have lost weight. 'Are you sure you haven't lost weight?!'

So, on the evidence, weight is frequently 'up for discussion'.

You have put it 'up for discussion' by creating this thread

However, in my experience, people generally don't mention it when someone has put on weight. None of my British friends or colleagues would ever make comments like that.

In fact, IME, if someone laments that they have put on weight, my British friends and colleagues will hasten to say things like 'don't be daft!', 'you're fine as you are', and so on.

If there's clearly no denying the fact that the person has put on weight, then the worst they will muster is 'Ah well, all the more to love, eh?'

Friends from other countries, on the other hand, will make the kind of comments in your post. Just like Edna in The Incredibles (at 0.33 in this clip - but watch it all for the joy of it!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68ndaZSKa8

Edited to add - thread now read; all of the above still stands

couldn't agree more coolcait - if we haven't seen friends/family of my OH for a while, you can bet one of the first things out of his mouth/their mouths will be a comment on weight, if any one has obviously bulked out a bit since our last visit together. They think nothing of it, in fact they consider that to be normal, as it shows they're paying attention and they care enough to make a comment on it :rotfl:.

pigpen

MrsE wrote: »

That would be because they are pointing out something you don't know. The OPs friend doesn't need telling she's fat, she already knows.........
She doesn't need "friends" like that.

I usually know I am wearing scruffy or hideous clothes or my hair is a mess too.. but I don't care if someone points it out.. it is true.. it is like pointing out I am female.. yeah.. and? Talk about stating the obvious.

If someone mentioned I had gained weight I'd probably look at myself and exclaim.. WOAH!!! Where the heck did THAT come from!?!?! OMG.. it MUST be the doughnut stand I walked by on the way here!

Person_one

There was a trailer for a film recently where a character introduced herself as 'Fat Amy' because if she called herself fat it saves the mean girls from doing it behind her back.

Is there a bit of that going on with some posters here maybe? If I loudly declare I am fat/slobby/scruffy/ugly then I can tell myself I'm not hurt by others doing it?

I knew I had a big nose (when I did!) it was undeniable. It still cut like a knife when people commented on it. We women all know how much of our value is decided by our looks, why make each other feel bad about them?

onlyroz

It wasn't until my mum called me a "fat b!tch" that I mustered up the motivation to do something about it. Sometimes being blunt can give people the kick up the backside they need to get something done.

Person_one

onlyroz wrote: »

It wasn't until my mum called me a "fat b!tch" that I mustered up the motivation to do something about it. Sometimes being blunt can give people the kick up the backside they need to get something done.

That's not blunt, that's verbal abuse.

System

onlyroz wrote: »

It wasn't until my mum called me a "fat b!tch" that I mustered up the motivation to do something about it. Sometimes being blunt can give people the kick up the backside they need to get something done.

Hmm

Well being told day in day out at school was i was a fat bi@tch amongst other plesentries did lead me to be depressed and i stopped eating and lost loads of weight..so hey i guess it worked..

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

That's not blunt, that's verbal abuse.

She claims it was said in a jokey way, but infact it was a spontaneous comment she made after I'd stepped on the scales in front of her. I took it more personally than she intended and went on to lose two stone in six months.

TimBear

onlyroz wrote: »

She claims it was said in a jokey way, but infact it was a spontaneous comment she made after I'd stepped on the scales in front of her. I took it more personally than she intended and went on to lose two stone in six months.

I don't think that approach would work for everyone though!